Get 'REAL' when dealing with intense emotions

Deal regularly with intense emotions?

Me too :)

For over 20 years since becoming an adult I used to keep my emotions supressed, locked away.

When they did appear I never used to address them, istread either pushing them down, avoiding them. Or using various forms of escapism- some good (exercise) and some not so good (drugs/alcohol).

One of the biggest ongoing challenges I've had in the last 6 years since my burnout/breakdown and being more open with my mental health has been both regularly of intense emotions I experience.

The fact that my emotions seem to 'live' at the surface is an ongoing challenge to try and manage.

This week has been one of those weeks.

Sandwiched between some 'good' has been some really challenging issues in both my personal and work life.

It's reminded me to go back to a technique I came across a year or so ago.

Remember the mnemonic REAL

The REAL mnemonic is a tool designed to help individuals effectively manage and respond to intense emotions.

It stands for:

1. Recognise.....and Relax
2. Evaluate.....and Experience
3. Accept.....and Act Mindfully
4. Learn

Here's a detailed explanation of each step:

1. Recognise.....and Relax

When you start to feel overwhelmed by intense emotions, the first step is to try calm your body and mind. This can be achieved through various relaxation techniques such as:

• Deep breathing: Take slow, deep breaths to help reduce immediate stress and lower your heart rate.
• Progressive muscle relaxation: Tense and then slowly release each muscle group in your body.
• Visualisation: Imagine yourself in a calm and peaceful place.

The goal is to bring your physiological state down from a heightened, reactive mode to a more relaxed, controlled state.

2. Evaluate.....and Experience

Once you are more relaxed, take a step back and evaluate the situation. This involves:

• Identifying the emotion: What exactly are you feeling? Is it anger, sadness, fear, frustration, or something else?
• Understanding the cause: What triggered this emotion? Was it a specific event, thought, or interaction?
• Assessing the intensity: How strong is this emotion on a scale from 1 to 10?

By evaluating, you gain a clearer understanding of your emotional state and the factors contributing to it.

3. Accept.....and Act Mindfully

With a clearer mind, consider how to respond to the situation. Acting mindfully involves:

• Choosing a response: Decide on a course of action that is thoughtful and intentional, rather than impulsive.
• Considering consequences: Think about the potential outcomes of different responses.
• Staying present: Focus on the current moment and avoid getting lost in past regrets or future worries.

Mindful action helps ensure that your response is aligned with your values and long-term goals, rather than driven solely by immediate emotional impulses.

4. Learn

After the situation has passed, reflect on the experience to gain insights and improve future emotional responses:

• Analyse the outcome: What happened as a result of your actions? Were they effective?
• Reflect on your process: How well did you manage your emotions? What worked and what didn’t?
• Plan for the future: Consider what you can do differently next time you encounter a similar situation.

Learning from each experience helps you build emotional resilience and develop better coping strategies over time.

By following the REAL steps, you can navigate intense emotions more effectively, leading to better outcomes and improved emotional/mental health.

Hope you find this useful!

#mentalhealth #emotions #selfcare #mindfulness #emotionalhealth