Get Real

The draft of my upcoming book is back from the editor, and I think we’re going to leave the following story out (gasp), not because it isn’t a good story but because sometimes we all have to make hard decisions about what goes in and what goes out. Sometimes, there are already enough examples, or it doesn’t fit in the flow, or it doesn’t support the main moment or point. So it’s cut <slashes forefinger across her neck as she types>.

See? We all have to make these kinds of decisions – wink.?

The beauty of having my own newsletter, however, is that I still get to share the story with you.?

It’s about the importance of being real. (Real: existing. Not fake or imitation)?

One night, on a family vacation in Cabo San Lucas, we took the hotel van into town for dinner. Deposited directly outside the front door, we entered the air-conditioned restaurant, walked across marble floors, and up a wide staircase with polished dark wood and shiny brass rails, to the posh dining room encased in glass overlooking the ocean. Platters of seafood were served to us by waiters in black pants, white shirts, and long aprons.

In a food coma, I stared out the window as the van wound its way out of the downtown core and through the residential area on our way back to the resort, and I got to see where the people of Cabo actually live.

I was in a fishbowl, mesmerized by the real world.

As we turned a corner, ?a cozy open-air restaurant caught my eye. An elderly woman was cooking on an open grill and several tables spread out with younger kids running food to and from the tables in shorts and bare feet. Cafe lights cast a soft and warm glow on people’s relaxed and happy faces enjoying what looked in the split second as we passed by as authentic Mexican food – not authentic like we get in America. Real food from real people. And I said to my dad, “I found our restaurant for tomorrow night.”?

We went the next night; it was the best and most memorable night of our trip. We sat on mismatched wooden chairs on a packed grassy lawn as cheerful Mexican music set the mood.

The posh restaurant from the night before could have been anywhere in the world. The corner restaurant in the quiet neighborhood could have only been in Cabo. The night before didn’t stand out in any way. This particular night was a unique experience, a meal we’d talk about for decades, and recommend to anyone who goes.

The Real You. You can create a perfectly manicured experience and shield your audience from rough edges, polishing every surface to a slick sheen. Your website will have beautiful stock images that make you look great. Your bio is so professional and packed with credentials and experience. Who wouldn’t want to work with you? But you leave out the parts about your gap year in Europe because it makes you look inconsistent. You leave out the parts about getting fired, about failing at things. You don’t talk about the things that fire you up. Because, you think, why would anyone care?

Or, you can give people the real you with little loose threads or tiny handholds that give people something to tug on, explore, and learn more. Give them mismatched wooden chairs, cafe lights strung across trees, and grass to put their feet in. Give them the opportunity to know and see you and, in doing so, get to know themselves and relate to you a little better.

The posh you could be anyone anywhere. The real you provides a far richer experience; one people will remember and talk about for decades.

Your stories of you and your organization are those handholds that allow people to experience you.?

When you get real, you become memorable. You develop relationships that make work and life more meaningful, productive, and fulfilling.?

Take care out there.

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