Get Over It, Already!
Margaret Dennis
Multiple Grief Survivor, Healer & Educator helping professional women move beyond grief & reclaim their lives guilt free | Holistic Grief Coach | Co-Founder & CEO of Unshakeable ME! Inc. Camps & Programs for Teen Girls
This weekend, a friend of mine who had recently lost her partner, had someone say to her: “It’s been a month. You need to snap out of this and move on.”
WHAT???!!!??
And that’s not all.
Another friend of mine, who had lost her mom a couple of months ago, shared that the SAME THING was said to her recently.
PEOPLE!!! ?This is NOT what you say to someone who is grieving.????♀?
I was floored!
Seriously!!
How long do you think it takes to “get over” grief?
I will tell you.
You don’t. ?
EVER!
Especially a grief experience that rocks your world to its core.
Like the death of a partner,
a parent,
a child.
For many of us, that depth of grief is also felt when you lose your pet, your best friend, your job, your home, your marriage…your expectations of how your life would be.
Grief is something you carry with you for the rest of your life.
It becomes a part of you.
Part of your story, your emotional make-up, your DNA.
We NEVER “get over” grief.
We learn how to integrate it into who we are now and to move forward.
This is not easy.
Initially, our grief is front and centre and takes up ALL our emotional ??, physical ??, and mental ?? resources.
We ARE our grief.
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Then, over time, as we move forward with our grief in tow, we may want to explore how to live with our grief as a part of who we are, not all of who we are.
We may want to be more in the light than in the darkness.
When, or IF, we get to this place is different for everyone.
We all grieve on our own timeline.
So, when someone tells you to “Get over it, already!”, LET THEM!
It is 100% their issue, not yours.
Why do people say this? ?
Well, THAT is a whole other article ??
For any of you who have been told that you aren’t “getting over it” fast enough, I am sorry.
Definitely one of the most insensitive things you could ever say to someone who is grieving.
As I have said many times before:
Your grief.
Your journey.
Your way.
Honour YOUR timeline.
Only YOU will know when you are ready to take the next steps.
And when you are ready, I am here for you.
To help you figure out how to move forward,
how to integrate your grief into who you are now,
and how to do this with clarity and confidence.
YOU are worth it!
M. xo
P.S. ?If you are wanting support in your grief journey, I am here for you. Book a short call by sending me a message or an email and let's explore what that support may look like for you.
P.P.S. ?If you are unsure what to do or say to support someone who is grieving - or you want to have something to give to someone so that they know how to support you - I have a complimentary PDF titled "How to Support Someone Who is Grieving" Reach out I'm happy to send you a copy!
Life Coach, Corporate Bi-Lingual Facilitator & Public Speaker
1 个月Profound truths and deep seated that I have come to believe, that until you have 'walked 2 moons in someone else's moccasins', one should be wary of what one says. Grief never goes away, it becomes another beautiful and eventually softer part of you as it is a forever scar that you loved and were loved. Let's honour each other and tread gently as sooner or later, everyone will walk our path.
Business Optimization Expert and CEO of Inspired Choices Network – collaborating with conscious business leaders to establish their global presence.
1 个月Well said Margaret. It's shocking those who have not experienced profound loss have the ease of speaking to something they know nothing about.
Author. Speaker. Mindset Coach.
1 个月Absolutely true, Margaret. Grief is an individual journey. I’ve lost a child, a parent, an uncle, a marriage, a friendship, a job, and so much more. I know the people who say things like, “Get over it already,” don’t fully grasp the rollercoaster ride that is the grief journey. I hope it is because they have never felt the loss I have felt. Honestly, I am happy for them. I hope they never feel the grief, the pain, the suffering, the intensity… ever. ??