Get out of your head!
Working from home full-time, means I spend a lot of time during the day by myself.
I’ve found, I’m most productive when I have limited distractions, a cozy environment (check out my felt desk pad, lush), some groovy tunes and my slippers, but all this time alone comes with a catch.
While I try hard to balance this time alone with hitting the gym daily, catching up for coffee during the week with friends or cooking breakfast for my 3yo before I drop her off at kindy a couple of mornings a week, it can still get the better of me.
Lately, winter has definitely gotten the better of me.
Trying to recover from kindy cough (thanks 3yo), manage some pretty gnarly deadlines at work and keep on top of my regular training has meant all this time alone has forced me into my head.
Wellness Dimension: Mental
Ever felt like your mind is one of those spinning wheels of doom when your Mac is about 3 seconds away from throwing a fit?
Or, had this one pesky thought replayed over and over again, a million times?
That was me a couple of weeks ago, battling through another round of kindy bugs while simultaneously balancing tight deadlines at work.
Having a meltdown in the car, while out grocery shopping because New World had run out of Lactose-Free Greek Yoghurt, was when it all came to a head. It was also a wake-up call, that it was time to get. out. of. my. head! These don’t happen often, but when they do, they’re a good reminder to reassess where I am, and what I have on my plate and to do something that grounds me.
I learnt the other day, that we humans are heavily weighted towards a negative bias - this means, we naturally and overwhelmingly see the negative in most things. Ourselves, our surroundings, our family, the supermarket.. and while this was an essential bias to have a few thousand years ago (think survival), today with mega-evolved brain power it can mean we’re pretty good at dooming ourselves when we should be blooming ourselves. Spending a lot of time alone during the day, while navigating stress and illness, can become the perfect breeding ground for our negative bias to thrive!
While feeling gloomy for a couple of days every now and then is normal, when it slowly starts to take over how I feel and think about most things, most days, I know I need a change. Something to kick my brain back into bloom mode.
So here’s what I do, when I need a change in mindset and outlook - and a good wake-up call to get out of my head:
The first thing I do is kill distractions - social media, Youtube, gaming - I do a 24hr detox to focus my mind on whats going on, thats throwing my balance out of whack. Individually, I don’t spend a lot of time on those things, but when I added up the hours over the week, it was actually quite a bit of time!
Turning notifications off is a great way to remember I live 99.9% of my life off screen.
I have a bad habit of falling into a “comparing” cycle as well, where I start to look at what I’ve got and my lifestyle in comparison to others, instead of just appreciating that what I’m doing works for me.
This mini-detox is a great way to stop the distractions and comparing at the source - it’s great to remind myself that social media is curated, for an audience! Influencers have bad days too. Using iPhone’s timed screen lock is a great way to keep used down, and if you turn off the notifications as well, it's easier to resist falling into a couple of hours of doom scrolling when you are by yourself, throughout the day.
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During my mini-detox, I like to do a brain dump of all the things I’m juggling and I like to do it using pen and paper. For the past 6 months, I have committed to replacing my notebooks with an iPad, but for this task, I bust out the pad paper and pens.
I brain dump, all my responsibilities at home and work, side hustles, social media posting, training etc. Think "meal plan for the week, grocery shopping, daycare runs, gym, project XYZ memo".
Getting it all down on paper helps me visualise what is taking up my time and mental capacity. I like to go a step further by then listing out the steps I need to remember under each of my thoughts, this helps me get ready for the next step.
This is probably the most satisfying task I do.
I open my calendar up and using the brain dump, begin structuring my week to make sure I get all I need to do, done - using time blocks!
Listing out the steps makes it easy to assign time blocks because I can estimate pretty accurately how long I should spend on a task. While I normally use time blocking to help me structure my week anyways, this time round I make sure I prioritise the things that are not JUST urgent, but important as well. I use colour coding to help, and I normally spread my brain dump over a fortnight, so I don’t feel too pressured, leading to burnout.
I’m pretty lucky where I live, to have access to a tonne of neat walks, bike rides and outdoor play areas. Taking my daughter to the playground or going for an early morning walk with a friend is a great way to get grounded. We love going to the park at Mangere Mountain because it's great for kids and big kids alike! Fresh air has a huge benefit on your mental health and so does gentle exercise like walking or biking - if you can use this time to spend with family too, win-win. Not only are you feeling better when you return home, but if your 3yo is anything like mine, her batteries are drained just enough to need a nap, so you can enjoy a cup of tea in peace :D
Spending a lot of time alone, can make you feel isolated but if I had to pick a reason why I’m grateful for technology, it would be for being able to check in with family.
Sometimes, the reality check I need is that I am not alone, I actually have siblings and parents who care about me very much - this loneliness I feel is really that negative bias coming in strong.
I find it's always a good time to send a message to my 3 brothers and parents. I can guarantee my brothers will bring me STRAIGHT BACK DOWN TO EARTH and my parents are always there when I need a chat. I know not everyone can do this and I am super grateful I have siblings and parents who I can do this with, but whether your family is by blood or by friendship, don’t be afraid to reach out and say hey.
After crying in the car at the supermarket and getting out of my head, I always feel so much more productive, creative and settled - so I hope these 5 tips help you get out of your head when the pressures on!
Let me know what you use to get grounded.
Until next time, peace out
Nic x