Get More People To Help You By Making It Easy On Them To Help You

Recently, a friend in another country wanted me to help him send a surprise birthday gift package to his girlfriend in England. What happened in this incident inspired this story.

My friend wanted me to help him order a set of sportswear for his girlfriend’s birthday gift from him. I am happy that he contacted me about this arrangement a month before. Still, his approach could have gone better with my perspectives on getting people to help you with a favour.

What I considered not too right of an approach was that he needed to figure out his budget, the exact brand he wanted to get, and the size. So,?he wanted me to help him do a market survey for this.

At this point, you might assume that I am into sportswear. But no, I am not — and my friend knows this. His only consideration for this request is that I am in England and should know better the affordable brands. However, what about his budget or size? How will I know these? He only contacted me one month beforehand, so there is still time to decide.?At least, that was what I thought.

But the last thing that threw me off was that he wanted me to customise the sportswear (he gave me the words I should write) when I got them before posting. Knowing my schedule and how I would not have time to oversee sending items to a graphics store, I suggested buying and sending customised items as a gift instead, which he countered.

So, I had to be direct in letting him know of my busy schedule. I had in mind that this should help him decide fast so that I could help him. However, he only contacted me again on his girlfriend’s birthday day this month to inform me that he is not happy with me for not helping him enough as a friend.

This rift, though now settled, made me reflect on the act of receiving and getting help. I will outline under three headings that affect different areas of our lives.

I have utilised this strategy for receiving help by making it easy for people to help me to get more help from?people above my level, friends, and even strangers. When I find people complaining about not receiving enough support when needed, I find it confusing.

This reflects the Christian saying, ‘Heaven helps those who help themselves.’

Getting help and support at a workplace or from mentors

A notable example of this is with my colleague at my?former profession, the Real Estates. She always complained about the speed of the solicitors we worked with then. She maintained that the time it took to draft or sign off on her contracts affected her effectiveness in moving new tenants in.

I knew the situation, and she was probably right, but she needed to understand that the solicitors we work with had their own set of priorities and that she might not always be at the top of their list.

Moreso, I always get my work done reasonably timely by them, so I wonder why they are too slow with her. I was the manager then, so one day, I told her,?‘Let me show you how to work with solicitors. The next time a contract comes in, review it yourself and then, before sending it off, attach a cover memo that lists any problems you see and the pages to find them, and how you perceive the clauses might be fixed. Let’s see if this speeds things up.’

There was never a need to try something else.?The lesson here is?when you need something from another colleague, your boss, or another department, ask yourself,?‘What can I do to make it easier for them to help me and quicker?’?then cover those ends first.

It might not necessarily end in wanting something from someone. I used this approach to score high as a student by simply making my work (exam answers and assignments) as tidy, readable, and engaging as possible.

Getting help and support from service people or strangers

Let me begin by highlighting the importance of reaching out to strangers’ and celebrities’ inboxes with the right approach by directing you to this article —?How I Direct Message (DM) Celebrities on Social Media — That Push Them To Respond.

Similarly, I have seen most people call customer care representatives without preparing advance answers to the questions they may have for them to enable them to help them. Although it can be considered that it is their job and that you, as a customer, are always right. But I see it as a student failing an exam and blaming the teachers for not doing a great job.

I also do this when I am out at the pop or restaurant. Before I ask the bartender or chef to help me with what to have, I start by letting the person know the kind of things I don’t eat or the ones I am in the mood for having and that way, it is easier for them to recommend something that I end up liking and everyone is happy.

When you need something from someone, show people you want to work with them instead of conveying that they somehow work for you. You will find that it will be there when you need that support.

Getting help and support from family and friends

This level of getting and receiving help is unique because it has many sentiments and emotions attached. And even, sometimes, entitlement.

With my friend, it would have been great if he first of did his assignment to find the brand, price, and size of his girlfriend and came to me like this,?‘Dear friend, please help me get this, that from here, and this is what it will cost, how can I send you the money, etc.,’

Because I work at a university, I have had friends and family reach out to me to ask me about the courses we offer at the university. Similarly, I feel the university’s website is there for this and that by finding this, they can now ask me what I think about a particular course or my opinion on two courses that best stood out for them. To help them decide.

I just remembered a quote from one of my favourite children’s books— ‘?Alice in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll.’

“Alice: Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?

The Cheshire Cat: That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.

Alice: I don’t much care where.

The Cheshire Cat: Then it doesn’t much matter which way you go.

Alice: …So long as I get somewhere.

The Cheshire Cat:?Oh, you’re sure to do that, if only you walk long enough.”

Generally, we all need help from people from time to time. And we are all able to help others from time to time. But the act of giving and receiving a desirable amount of help respects and starts from you, making it easier to be helped.

Many thanks for reading my perspective and giving feedback.

My fervent wish is for the personal growth of everyone and the success of all young professionals who put their hearts and souls into finding their purpose in life.

Copyright ??Ekene Moses , 2023. All Rights Reserved.

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