GET THE MONKEYS OFF YOUR BACK

How many monkeys do you have on your back?

How heavy do you feel in your leadership role? 

Leaders often talk to me about feeling overwhelmed, their to-do list just keeps getting bigger and they no longer enjoy their role. Sound familiar? 

Some leaders just keep taking on more and more. In a coaching session, they say things like "Sure, I can do that. I'll follow that up for you. I'll make that happen." Then later at the team meeting, they volunteer again. More and more monkeys landing on their back.

If this is you, then the result is, by the end of the day, you feel heavy and tired. You’ve been so busy with other people’s priorities that you can’t find the time or energy to focus on your most important tasks. You feel unproductive and wonder whether you're making a difference. Maybe you're even questioning whether this leadership gig is really for you.

So, why do you allow these monkeys or in some cases invite them onto your back? 

Maybe you want to please others and be liked. Maybe you want to protect your team. You might be a perfectionist and think that if you don’t do the task yourself, someone else will stuff it up. Or maybe you want to play it safe and doing this type of work makes you feel useful and productive, giving you an excuse not the tackle the more challenging issues. 

The big question is how can you recalibrate and shift this behaviour?

I’ve got 3 suggestions….

1. Be deliberate and intentional around what you say yes to. Create space to consciously consider if this is the best use of your time. Is how you best serve your clients? Is this the best thing to do for you, and for your team? Because if you keep taking more on, you’re actually disempowering others, and they’re missing out on opportunities because you're continuing to rescue them.
2. Know your highest priorities and how you add the most value. Step up and challenge yourself. Stop playing it safe. Focus on what matters most.
3. Develop a response or method to respectfully say no. For example,  ‘I'd love to help. At this stage project A is my priority, and that needs to be my focus because of {insert reason}. So unfortunately I’m not in a position to help right now." Or whatever script works for you and is authentic. 

Now, don’t misunderstand, you don’t want to be unhelpful and unapproachable and be the leader who always says no, but you also don't want to be the leader who says yes to everything and everyone. Enough of that!

I want you to love your work. I want you to have fun and keep things light. I want you to add the most value in your role and feel like you’re kicking goals every day. 

I want you in this leadership game for the long term, and the only way to do that is stop those monkeys from jumping on your back every single day. 

It’s time for you to take control of your time, focus, and energy.

Champagne and Sunshine,

Midja x

PS - One of the most helpful articles I have read on this subject is the famous Harvard Business Review article titled - Management Time: Who’s Got the Monkey? by William Oncken, Jr. and Donald L. Wass This article was originally published in the November–December 1974 issue of HBR and has been one of the publication’s two best-selling reprints ever. For its reissue as a Classic, the Harvard Business Review asked Stephen R. Covey to provide a commentary. Check it out!

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Midja is a leadership expert who is obsessed about creating confident courageous leaders.

She is a keynote speaker, lawyer, mentor and workplace facilitator. Midja is the author of 2 books Unshakeable Confidence and Great Lawyer to Great Leader.

When you're ready to work with Midja, contact her at [email protected] or 0408 718 445.