Get to Know Yourself

One of the most common questions asked when meeting someone for the first time is:?

“What do you do for work?”

Although there may not be a conscious agenda when asking this question, unconsciously, this is one of our very first questions asked of others because we’re attempting to get to know them. And, we often associate one’s occupation to who they are. We assume that by their answering, we’ll be able to measure their “success”, their intellect, and what they stand for.

While knowing someone’s occupation can undoubtedly give meaningful insights into their life, it surely does not give an accurate representation of their whole life. In order for us to get to know people, we have to spend meaningful time with them, have a genuine care to get to know them, and ask thoughtful (beyond surface level) questions.

This same formula is essential if we want to get to know ourselves, too. And, you’d think that we know ourselves better than we know others because there’s not a moment in time when we’re not with ourselves. Yet, that’s simply not the case. Many people wander through life reacting to situations and life events, ultimately unaware of how their past may be impacting the present. And unaware of who it is that they are and why it is that they do what they do.

Considering such, the challenge this week is to spend 15-20 minutes every day, with deliberate thought and effort getting to know yourself.

The Challenge: Get to know yourself!

Getting to know yourself doesn’t mean just knowing the old cliches of your favorite color or food. But if you are going to start with small and simpler area’s of your life, the goal through the challenge this week would be to dig in and identify why a certain color is your favorite color. As an example, your whole life you may have answered “red” to any questions asking for your favorite color. And, you may in fact have found that you most often purchase red cars, clothes, etc; confirming that indeed, red is your favorite color.

Have you ever taken time to slow down and understand why it’s your favorite color though?

Of course, there may be no reason behind it at all. It could just be a preference. But, there may something deeper to it. Like a connection from your childhood. And understanding that deeper reason or connection is important because the awareness helps you to break free of patterns, get out of your comfort zone, and develop new habits or routines.?

It’s not uncommon to hear people say things like: “I’ll never get that promotion.” This type of statement is often rooted from beliefs they hold about themselves, but they aren’t even aware of why they hold the belief, so they just accept it. If they were aware that perhaps they hold that belief because they never saw their parents surpass a certain financial threshold, and therefore, they can’t envision themselves getting past a certain threshold, it would undoubtedly be easier to navigate it. Because they would have context for where the belief was originating from.

Getting to know yourself is not easy work. It requires you to confront things from your past that you may not want to relive. You may have to go back to a period of time where you lost a loved one, where you went through a divorce, experienced a trauma, or suffered an illness. We become molded in life based upon what we experience. And if we’re not careful, the painful moments from our life that contribute to the molding, could restrict us from ever enjoying life again. This week, promise yourself that you’ll spend time to dig in to your life — the good and the bad — so you can truly get to know yourself. Below are a few questions that may be a helpful guide in completing this challenge:

What makes me genuinely happy?

What makes me unhappy?

When I show up as a version of me that I’m not proud of, what’s contributing to my showing up this way?

When I’m kind to others, why am I kind?

When I’m rude to others, why am I rude?

Why do I do the work that I do?

What do I want most from life?

What am I holding onto that could be restricting me from experiencing happiness?

Of course, these questions are just examples that you can use to get in a reflective state. If they’re not useful for you, feel free to ask yourself other questions that allow you to get to know yourself more deeply.

Have a great week!