Get Good At Being Bored

What in the world does that title mean?

Am I suggesting that you should do things that bore you? That you should practice being bored? Well actually, yes, sort of.

A while ago, some of you might have read my article about happy people not always being happy (read that article here if you missed it). It still seems ridiculous to me that this was such a revelation. But somehow, the idea that you control your feelings meant I thought that some people were just really good at feeling happy all the time. Turns out that's nonsense of course.

Well today, I want to offer a similar revelation. Motivated people aren't always motivated. They're just really good at dealing with boredom and don't let it stop them.

If you read personal development books, or look at social media, you could be forgiven for thinking that we're supposed to find something we're so deeply passionate about that we will have endless supplies of motivation to work on that. This is fuelled by the people you see as successful and how they're always motivated and motivating.

However, the enormous problem is that motivation is an awful thing to rely on. Speak to any behavioural scientist and they will tell you not to try to base a habit or change on your will power or motivation. It will fail. However amazing your goal, motivation alone won't help you achieve your goals....well unless you're weird.

I read an interview a while ago with a coach who had worked with some of the most successful Olympic athletes and when he was predictably asked what set them apart from the rest his answer was interesting. Obviously, he listed the usual things like genetics, natural talent, and luck. But he also said the very best were good at being bored. Despite lacking motivation. Despite being totally bored of doing the same training day in and day out. Despite being bored of squats, or whatever exercise, they still turned up consistently to do them. Were they motivated all the time. Of course not. Did that mean they didn't want to be the best? No. It just meant they were in fact human.

So this got me thinking. I've definitely fallen into the trap of feeling guilty about not always being motivated. I have goals which I believe I deeply want to achieve, but still my motivation disappears and some days I don't want to do the work.

This often starts a spiral of questioning whether I really want my goals, or questioning why I'm self sabotaging my efforts. Like I say, I feel guilty. Can guilt motivate? Sometimes. But it's not an effective long-term motivation strategy.

The result is usually that I either beat myself up for not feeling more motivated, or I grudgingly, and usually ineffectively do some work, but I'm distracted by the thoughts that if I really wanted this, surely I wouldn't be struggling with motivation. Either way, the result is not a happy experience or an effective one.

I can see now, that really what I need to do is to practice being better at being bored. To embrace the journey, and the boredom that goes with that journey sometimes. Here's the thing. To get good at something. To master something. You have to do it over and over again. Realistically, even the most motivated person will find this repetition boring sometimes. But those that can cope with that boredom, embrace it and consistently continue with that action will often get the best results.

So, what I'm saying is, yes you should do things that you find boring, if they will help you achieve your goals. Don't mistake being bored of something with it not being the right thing for you to be doing at that time.

Obviously, things shouldn't be boring all the time. If you find everything you do boring, or one task endlessly boring, then perhaps find something else to do to reach your goal, or find someone else to do that task so you can get on with things you enjoy.

But, just because you don't feel motivated sometimes, just because you find something boring sometimes, doesn't mean you've missed your calling, or you haven't found what you're passionate about. Even doing something you're passionate about will sometimes be boring. Get good with boredom and turn up consistently rather than beating yourself up about lacking motivation.

Notice that this is not an excuse not to do something because you lack motivation. It's just a change in mindset. Like so many things.

Happy people aren't always happy. Motivated people aren't always motivated. Embrace that and enjoy the journey. Who knows what the next stunningly obvious revelation will be?!