Get a Coach, not a Bus Driver

I originally wrote this piece back in 2017. It keeps cropping up, mostly thanks to Angela Fumpson who reminds me of it often. I thought I would dust it off and add some new thoughts which also introduces a new word…Mentor. The friend I mention at the start has left us since this was first written, and is missed...

A friend who used to drive large passenger vehicles gets quite worked up at being called a bus driver. Coach driver, COACH DRIVER!!! When asked what the difference is it usually comes down to an element of encouragement and guidance to help the customers taking the tour get the most out of it. A bus driver just takes you from A to B with minimal interaction.

I tried a variety of business/life/whatever coaches in the early years of my business with varying levels of disappointment. That has led me to an understanding of what I need to help my business and most importantly me.

1. A Guide: I pretty well know the direction I want to go, but after Sun Tzu and Alfred Korzybski, “the map is not the territory” so it is useful to have someone point you the way over the horizon, and to share the planning.

2. Another Voice: Like most people I have a lot of ideas and sorting the wheat from the chaff when your nose is applied firmly to the grindstone everyday can be difficult. Having another voice in the business, particularly when it is a one person business like mine is crucial, both to keep the dafter ideas under control, and as a morale thing for the bad days. Benji the dog isn't much good with business analysis sadly.

3. A Hand: related to item 2, someone who will reach out when you stumble, and I’m sure every business owner has need of that.

4. Original Thinking: Someone who will understand me and my business, who can get inside and suggest options and alternative strategies to advance the business and to progress my personal goals.

See, fairly simple. Or possibly not. My experience is that some coaches are in fact little better than bus drivers. Providing a predefined route plan based on the places the route tells them to stop rather than something more personal. I’m well aware that this is a generalisation, but it reflects my experience of sitting across a table from someone effectively reading aloud selections from business and personal development books.

Watching the hard sell at networking meetings when the coaches descend on a new visitor is instructive, and I have always made a point of seeking out the ones who sit back from the fray. They are watching and waiting for the business owner to understand that they need help. As with that understanding comes the willingness to be open to new patterns of thought and behaviour.

Rereading this at the end of 2024 I’ve found a “but”. I’ve not described a coach in my points above, that’s a Mentor. And while the two terms do seem to be used interchangeably in the business world, they aren’t the same thing. Coaching is often set up around the promise of growing your business and focuses on the structural aspects. I’ll look at the false prophets of the ￡10k month another time, but what that ignores is the life choices and personal support that a Mentor, someone who has been there, done it, bought the T shirt and can now share your journey, celebrating your wins and helping you out of the potholes. That does include coaching, helping you plan and achieve business goals, but is far more about working with you as the business leader to make your business work for you.

So rather than the bus driver, seek out the coach driver, someone who points out the sights on the way (just looking out the window without having the scenery explained means you seldom spot the best opportunities), someone ready with a word of encouragement (and a cup of tea) when the going gets tough. Most important for me is someone to help shift the luggage and find your bags in the pile of different ways to advance your business and your life.