Get Better Heroes: Redefining Whom We Admire
Years ago, I had an encounter that left a lasting impression. While walking down a hallway at my former job, I passed by Ted Danson. My friend and I exchanged polite nods with him, which he graciously returned. However, another colleague, visibly starstruck, approached Ted and exclaimed, “Can I shake your hand? You have always been my hero!” Ted smiled, shook his hand warmly, and quipped, “You really need to get better heroes.”
This humorous exchange touches on a deeper cultural issue. In The Myth of Normal, author Gabor Maté discusses how society often elevates celebrities, athletes, and politicians—individuals who, despite their success, may grapple with unhealed traumas. Maté suggests that this misplaced idolization diverts attention from those who genuinely contribute to wellness, health, and the human spirit.
The Theory of Holes
A.H. Almaas's "Theory of Holes" offers insight into this phenomenon. According to Almaas, as we develop, we may become disconnected from our true essence, leading to a sense of deficiency or "holes" within us. To compensate, we often adopt external identities or seek fulfillment through others, including idolizing public figures. However, true healing comes from reconnecting with our authentic selves, not from external validation.
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Personal Journeys to Authenticity
It's easy to chase societal definitions of success. My wife once faced this challenge, choosing to let go of her family's traditional values centered on material wealth and status. She found fulfillment by seeking out thinkers and writers who valued the human spirit and authenticity over the empty promises of consumer culture.
Becoming Your Own Hero
Ted Danson's remark holds a profound truth: Whom you choose as your hero shapes your path. Perhaps the most transformative realization is that you don't need to look outward for inspiration. By reconnecting with your true essence, you can find strength, wisdom, and guidance within yourself.
It's time to redefine heroism. Celebrate those who inspire healing, compassion, and authenticity. And maybe, just maybe, you'll discover that the hero you've been seeking has been within you all along.