Get Back in the Game Dad

Leadership Lesson #3 for 2020

Fred L. Shinn, MS, PT

"Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times.” ~ author unknown ~

In the recent days of impeachment hallmarked by twelve hour sessions by the Senate, we heard a phrase oft repeated, “the rule of law”.  While I appreciate the call to be governed by the rule of law there is a precept that precedes this in a land governed by the people.  The foundational element that serves as the basis and precursor in a nation of laws, ie a republic such as ours, is the heartbeat of virtue. 

And now we find ourselves amidst the Wuhan Flu, Chinese Influenza, Covid19. Call it what you will. And no matter what you make of the name, the result is the same. That result is a period of caution and reflection. I will let the medical experts thru their mouthpiece of politic espouse the cautionary tale while I direct my gaze on reflection. Reflection which is personal and reflection from a societal perspective.

“Our moulting season, like that of the fouls, must be a crisis in our lives” ~ Henry David Thoreau ~, Walden

Here today America, and in you and in me, together we find ourselves in that season of the moult. It is that challenging point in which we must find ourselves anew. Why is the moulting season relevant?

It is that time of renewal. It is that time when old is made new. It is that time when what was inflexible becomes pliant.  Characteristics of the moulting season are of import. It’s regular and recurring - be prepared. It provides for incremental growth - it’s not too much and you can do it. It’s an ongoing process that, in the end, one is always the better for enduring & persevering. 

Likewise, we shall be better as a nation and as a people if we take time today to reflect. The regenerative process are those periods of reflection allow us to return to elemental foundations of our society and this process can make life vibrant! Here we are in reflection. Time for an inventory of what is complete and what is in want.

One expression of the equation to which we recognize as what makes America great & complete is: Virtue + The Rule of Law = Social Justice

The cart before the horse.  The tail wagging the dog.  Both are adequate examples of the use of the phrases “the rule of law” or “we are a nation of laws” in combination with disregard for the hearts of men.  These statements ring hollow void of virtue. Alone these are but shallow statements. Predicated upon virtue these statements espouse meaning.

For one to fully grasp the meaning one must first grab hold of the origin of thought which predicated this rule of law in this nation of laws.  And this predication is a Western Civilization rooted in Greek culture, philosophy and governance.  Continued reliance on the rule of law perspective void of virtue – as described by the Greeks and reincarnate in America - precipitates decay in a vibrant American experience as we approach our 250th birthday.

There are those that thru this myopic vantage claim the sum of Western Civilization – social justice - is amble foundation for the continuance of our Republic. I offer an alternative view.

As our society and culture was conceived it was rooted in the wisdom of the Greeks - the originators of what we once affectionately referred to as Westerns Civilization.  Today it seems revisionists would assert all too many short comings in Western Civilization and equate it solely with imperialism. In truth, at the basis of the foundation of Western Civilization is virtue.  

Virtue for the Greeks of olde, as it should be for the contemporary American, is equivalent to excellence.  Aristotle defines virtue as a disposition to behave in the right manner.   In order to behave in “right manner” one must possess a standard, a system, a perspective, a vantage from which to establish this manner of behavior, speech and conduct.

Stoicism is perhaps the most identifiable and recognizable thought process given us by the ancient Greeks though today many cannot grasp its true precepts.  In error many today identify the Stoic as the quiet one in the room - the introvert. This could not be further from reality. In error, many equate the measured response of a Stoic with disengagement. Again, an assertion that is the antithesis of Stoicism. Enough of what it is not. What is this thought we refer to as Stoicism? It is multi-dimensional and this presentation shall focus on but four salient points.

These four salient points are known as four cardinal virtues: wisdom, morality, courage, and moderation.

Present day social justice has blurred the perspective virtue afforded our great nation. In the age of “rule of law”, social justice has replaced virtue.  Virtue is a foundational concept whereas justice is the product of a virtuous foundation.  Unfortunately, and in error, we express social justice and social morality as foundational principals. – yet they are not. 

Virtue focuses upon and improves upon the individual. Conversely, social justice ignores the fabric of man and has little regard for the heart and soul.  Social justice rooted in a rule of law void of virtue ignores a personal application of right minded thinking and applies what is right to others. Social justice is for society, it’s for them, it’s for everybody else as "I" myself am void of a standard, a system, a vantage, a perspective to which govern myself.  The "I" of contemporary America in this day is one able to conduct oneself free of the personal application of the Stoics four cardinal virtues.  In so doing, social justice has sought to unseat virtue in America and all the while it striving for a modern utopic social and cultural experience. The rule of law, void of virtue, strives to alter society while ignoring personal responsibility in the hearts of the citizenry.  

The Story of Said Son

A business partner recently shared an experience his associate regularly encounters.  And this encounter is representative of the lack of virtue as one seeks a just moral outcome in modern day America.  This associate is a former collegiate football great from my favorite institution (that’s Notre Dame for those not familiar with my allegiance in the great American game), recipient of college football’s greatest honor, long time veteran of the NFL and resident in Canton, Ohio. Being such a man of fame and celebrity his voice is often sought by organizations and individuals alike as they seek his secret of success.  So many desire an insight into what unique bit of knowledge or wisdom this man might offer so as to shine light upon their own journey, making their path easier.

I am told this is a common place experience for this All American.  So common, there is now nothing unique about it for him.  It is encountered with such routine there is certainty in the script as the experience unfolds.  It goes something like this: a father approaches our All American seeking insight on behest of a son; said son, like all sons of all fathers, shows great promise; but (yes, the infamous BUT), said son is the local rising star in some fashion or another – a real "blue chipper"; however, there is an impediment to said son’s realization of stardom and success.

Our hero, having trod this path all too often, immediately recognizes a hint of a double standard in the words, in the story, in the expectation of this wisdom seeking father.  There is a vice that stands as a buffer between said son and success.  Said son is talented. Morality and justice as viewed in the America of this day suggests it is said son’s for the taking, free of sacrifice, free of endeavor – said son deserves it.

As the story all too often goes the father requests our hero to speak to said son regarding this vice in hopes these words from our All American shall unleash the hold upon said son allowing ready access of the success and stardom reserved for said son.  Humbly, our All American agrees and poses  this question to the father of this American son: “This vice, this impediment that I am to heal for your son, what about you and your life?”. 

And all too often the fathers repeat in kind: “C’mon man, it’s really not about me.  It’s about my son.  You know I’m not in the game anymore.  It’s not about me.  What I do really doesn’t matter anymore”.

And here we have the conundrum of the American man today.  We are all too ready to cure the ills of others, yet not prepared for the introspection required to ensure our own heart is right and our actions in line with a virtuous life because of a self-view that I am not important, what I do doesn’t matter, I can’t make a change.  Such men in America today sit on the sidelines while the game is still going on.

So too here we are in this place in society at this time where many Americans are all too concerned with solving problems for others, yet not willing to look in the mirror.  So too here we are championing a cause yet not capable of taking time to decipher knowledge and see how it varies from wisdom, understanding morality starts at home not in the public square.  Courage is “doing the right thing” based on a principled life not shouting down another of a differing opinion on social media.  Courage is standing in the face of our fears and shortcomings while deciding to make a difference.

Having courage does not mean that we are unafraid.

Having courage and showing courage mean we face our fears.

We are able to say, “I have fallen, but I will get up.”

~ Maya Angelou ~

The father’s sense of uselessness to make a difference in himself, in his own son, in his own piece of this world directs thought to a solution beyond his capacity.  Our father looked for a star, a celebrity, someone of import in his mind.  Virtue, sown in the far off culture of Greece, and rooted in foundational America, places focus and trust in the individual. Social justice, void of virtue and rooted in the rule of law emphasizes focus upon the an amorphous, faceless, soulless government. 

This leads one to consider the complimentary roles of “hardware” and “software” as related to virtue and social justice.  In this analogy, virtue is to hardware as social justice is to software. So too, virtue is a means, social justice is an end. And too, virtue is a strong foundational principal in a society, whereas social justice is a product of virtue and not capable of being a social foundation in and of itself. In this consideration the chicken surely preceded the egg. 

Virtue is a relational experience. Social morality or social justice is transactional. A society based on strong relationships lays at the foundation of Western Civilization and our American heritage. Short sighted is a transactional life of social justice which lacks cohesive and wide spread perspective and application.  The superficial experience of man encountering transactional living in the myopic push toward social justice & morality degrades the vibrant interpersonal relationships experienced in a community of people seeking virtue. 

Men of America: read the playbook, get back in the game, stay in the game because you do matter.  There is a cost to a disciplined life and the product of a disciplined life of virtue benefits those we encounter, family and friend alike, each and every day, day after day.  Social justice is the by-product of virtue. Surely, the equation cannot operate in reverse. Morality and justice are incongruent in the absence of virtue.  The pursuit of social justice void of virtue aims at getting and not providing. Seek wisdom, demonstrate morality, live courageously, and be a man of moderation. A virtue filled life is a legacy worthy of remembrance.

Being a man in contemporary America is a search for meaning rather than grasping for simple solutions as seen in The Story of Said Son.

Being a man in contemporary America is a life full of questions that revolve around how and why.

Being a man in contemporary America is comprised of questions like how and why as opposed to “what's in it for me?” and “when do I get mine?”.

To be in the game of manhood and fatherhood in America means one must know the playbook. The best playbook for men in America today is routed in a life of virtue. Indeed this playbook needs just four plays: wisdom, morality, courage and moderation.

Get back in the game, Dad.