Genuineness
I am the Clinical Director and owner of Basic Steps Mental Health. We run an Intensive Outpatient Program that addresses both Mood Disorders and Substance Addiction in the Seattle area. Our program runs four weeks and we conduct it like a counseling school in which participants learn counseling approaches and practice on one another. It is vastly different in the industry and I am realizing that the program is one thing, but the person running it is something more important. What I am learning is that clients respond better to me when I am genuine.
Somebody who is happy all of the time isn't realistic. The people who are struggling in their life can't relate to a person like that. However when I am able to be real, talk about my ups and downs, and show them that I am a person just like they are, it seems to bridge a gap.
I was inspired in Graduate school by the work of Carl Rogers and how he modeled "Unconditional Positive Regard". In showing a client that you really care about them they feel comfortable with you. This can not be phony because people know when you are yanking their chain. This is why I find common ground with another person so I can bond with them. It might be the shoes they are wearing, the scent of their perfume - basically if there is something common that you share that can be the ticket to establishing a bonded relationship.
In our program, all participants begin the program together and, like school, go through the curriculum together. We just finished our first week and to be honest, this was the best first week I can remember in the past five years of presenting this type of treatment. What the difference was, was simply allowing a client to speak their mind and genuinely respond to it from my gut. Oh, this isn't new, however this week in particular more time was allowed for people to speak their mind. If they didn't like a particular Psychological approach they were allowed to talk about it. I handled it with praise this week. I honored the feedback, wasn't defensive or defending the approach but took it as an opportunity to see things from their point of view. But what transpired in the group became a shock, more participants added into the conversation and gave their point of view.
I have been digesting this, as I usually do, at the end of this week. In allowing this free flowing conversation and acceptance of dissent, or disagreement, the group bonded. People in the group were praising each other for something they probably hadn't been able to do in a long time, in sharing their disapproval. How often are we discouraged and speak our mind about it, and rewarded for doing so. In the case of the original client, they acknowledged that they were able to see it from the different perspectives of their cohorts and it helped them become more accepting of the approach.
As a therapist I have to remind myself that I am a Human Being too, just like them. Honestly I have learned a life time of lessons from the thousands of people I have treated. What is beautiful is that I am still open to learning more. And the great thing is - this is only the end of week one.
In Counseling 101, they teach us that the number one task of a therapist is to bond with a client. I feel that this needs to be reminded to us mental health workers. If I don't allow a person to speak their mind and be themselves, why in the world would they want to bond with me? For whatever reason it really clicked this week to fully honor the people in the group, let them know who I am as a person, and give ample time for people to communicate.