Genuine Connections: The Case for Not Asking ‘What Do You Do?

In today’s interconnected world, it might seem unusual to admit that the closest people to me don’t fully understand what I do for work. Despite being an independent public relations professional — a role characterised by its focus on communication and connections—I’ve chosen to maintain a clear boundary between my professional and personal lives. This choice isn’t about leading a double life; rather, it’s about preserving the integrity and privacy of both spheres.

When I meet someone new, I rarely ask about their job. For me, this stems from a fundamental belief: a person’s value isn’t defined by their professional title or the nature of their work. Our society often emphasises careers to the extent that it overshadows other aspects of our identity. However, I find that engaging with people based on their interests, values, and experiences offers a richer, more authentic connection. This approach allows us to see each other as whole individuals, beyond the confines of our professional roles.

As someone who works for myself and manages my own clients, the demands can be intense and the lines between work hours and personal time easily blurred. By maintaining a distinction, I safeguard my personal time and ensure that I can be fully present for those closest to me, free from the pressures and distractions of work.

This separation doesn’t imply that I hide my work or am not good at it. On the contrary, I have been doing this for over a decade. Yet, I believe that my worth is not solely derived from my professional achievements. It’s a part of who I am, but not the entirety.

Ultimately, my aim is to cultivate genuine relationships where we see each other for more than just our occupations. By prioritising personal interactions over professional labels, we can build a more nuanced understanding and appreciation of the people in our lives.