Gentlemen, impacting the world requires understanding the butterfly effect
Karen Bontrager
Founder Crisis to Courage for Men I Podcast | 16-24 | ★ Money & Thought Leader | TBRI Trauma Clinician | LMHCA Therapist | ACC Trauma Coach | No Fear in Love Race President | Coaching | Scholar | Fierce Men’s Advocate
Your impact does not seem like much now, but "it’s like a raindrop in the ocean: the butterfly effect, which will grow from ripples to waves, into eventually, a tsunami that will have generational impact; continuing long after the initial drop of water" (JJ).
My wise client coined these words to me after I discovered the men's trauma contract had ended abruptly. His words were a kind reassurance, that the many months of trauma work begun in that room would "not return void."
He definitely understood this principal of the butterfly effect.
Why did I tell you this story? It is quite simple. I totally believe in you, and know you have the stuff it takes to impact the world, as a fierce unstoppable guy. A little encouragement is all that is needed.
Therefore, if you, fellas, were/are feeling overwhelmed by the circumstances related to COVID or life in general: results are taking too long/the job search appears impossible/family life is not what you anticipated it to be, the business is not working as anticipated, and/or (x), be encouraged.
As a men’s relationship coach, counselor, and trauma clinician, too often, I have seen males with the greatest potential, lose heart, give up, and return to unhealthy coping mechanisms, when they were so close to having the oceanic impact they desired, which is rather grievous to me looking from the outside.
Consequently, I have compiled a simple list to inspire you, in accordance with the title:
Gentlemen, impacting the world requires understanding the butterfly effect -
- 1. Remind yourself that seeing butterfly results takes time. Review even the smallest amount of progress (drops) for maintaining momentum.
- 2. Write down the wins/impacts made along the way in a journal. Begin with gratitude at the beginning and end of each day.
- 3. Find support in great folks moving in a similar direction. Look for people, who will champion you when in doubt, and be that gentle push for staying focused and positive.
- 4. If life becomes unmanageable, seek out professional help. A trauma trained clinician or similar professional is a good option for men dealing with unresolved traumatic events.
- 5. Despite all obstacles to the contrary: your feelings, others, negative circumstances, and (x) do not quit. Realize that as a gentleman and leader, you are sorely needed like never before.
Men, if you practice these impacting butterfly actions now, be assured in the very near future, that first drop will soon become a vast ocean, with an unlimited supply of resources to supply you/others’ needs for generations to come.
Pixabay Contributor
Thank you for reading.
Your thoughts are very appreciated.
Author’s Bio
Karen Bontrager helps 16-24-year-old men, and more mature fellas stuck there due to complex trauma, make permanent shifts in their behavior from merely surviving in life to thriving through transparent coaching/counseling in one-on-one conversations and in group work, and through topic sensitive trauma-informed workshops in a program called, “From Crisis to Courage.” With this ontological approach, I partner with my clients to discover their essence, (aka highest and best self) by powerfully reflecting and listening to them. My clients quickly learn how to generate self-awareness and to voice their own relationship needs in a clear, constructive way by learning key coaching techniques/evidenced based counseling approaches/tools to work past their traumatic events and addictions to move forward. The clients are then equipped to develop healthy relationships with key relationships: parents/siblings/friends, and with intimate dating partners because they have learned how to proactively use their voice.
She does a weekly Relationships Matter Monday LI article for 16-24-year-old men and fellas stuck there due to trauma, is a frequent contributor here, and has a bi-monthly podcast called Crisis to Courage to give gentlemen an honorable platform for learning how to use their voices in a way which gets respected, instead of turning to the old standbys: anger, isolation, and numbing behavior, so they can be the men they were made, formed, and created to be.
Are you a man who feels stuck, and is not able to move forward due to anger, isolation, or various numbing behaviors? Do you feel something is preventing you from loving self, others, or having the life of your dreams? Please DM me and we can talk. There is help for you.
Crisis to Courage Podcast for Men Links below:
https://www.buzzsprout.com/1130105/listings
https://open.spotify.com/show/0hBtQMFu6eOoHAJBZVRgiQ
https://podcasts.google.com/?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5idXp6c3Byb3V0LmNvbS8xMTMwMTA1LnJzcw==
https://podcastaddict.com/podcast/3017583
https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/crisis-to-courage-podcast-a-pl-1258925
https://www.deezer.com/us/show/1372142
https://www.listennotes.com/podcasts/crisis-to-courage-podcast-a-platform-for-udrRN3OmV9o/
Helping people by finding overlooked details.
4 年That is a great list to remember, Karen! ?? Change takes time! Sometimes, we do take steps backwards, but that does not mean that we cannot take steps forward again. I appreciate you mentioning that we don't truly know all of the impact long term that our words and actions have - we may help someone and not see the results for years. Sometimes, an encouraging word we have shared will lie dormant for a long time and sprout later. I also appreciate your advice to have someone to walk with us through the tough times in life. We were designed to live in community. We need other people, whether we realize it or not. We all need to have a close trusted friend that can encourage us and be a sounding board, a listener. We can do that for them, also. Enjoy your week and thank you for tagging me, so I could join in! ??
Independent Security Research
4 年I am back to the drawing board of my life and I did come across an article about a man who became a father at age 89, it was a bit odd but I suppose life has left the field open to all of us to do what we can , when we can and how we can. I am sure people will think of this as not the best example but still it does help us draw new red lines and consequently it gives hope. We will still need patience though
MBA HRM 2024-26 || XIMB || Ex-Infosys || VSSUT '19'
4 年i try to show the people the art to the world and i do that by with my consulting services and also know the ins and outs by executing on a consistent basis Karen Bontrager
Business Development Professional
4 年Great read! I agree that patience is key... the little things do add up and we are all making a great impact on others everyday. Thank you!