A Gentle Reminder to Be Much Kinder to Yourself
The Far-Reaching Effects of Self-Acceptance
What do you feel when you look at yourself in the mirror? What thoughts cross your mind when you catch sight of your reflection? What’s the first thing that springs to mind when you think of yourself?
And why is any of this important?
The fact is that the way you think and feel about yourself has a huge impact on the quality of your life. It effects your potential for happiness, your endurance in the quest for success, your availability for fulfilling relationships and your resilience in the face of challenges. Your relationship with yourself is the basis for your relationship with everyone and everything else in your life.
That’s why it’s so relevant.
No amount of self-improvement can make up for any lack of self-acceptance.
― Robert Holden
There’s a massive amount of material online about the importance of self-empowerment. Building a strong foundation for your confidence and personal growth has become a modern-day talisman for a happier way of living. Yet, if you look around you, it seems that remarkably few people are living their lives with an abiding sense of personal contentment. Happiness – for the many – still appears to be as elusive as ever. Something must be missing from the equation for a happier or more fulfilling life.
Fortunately, the answer isn’t difficult to spot. It reveals itself in the way we feel about ourselves. And no amount of external adjustment can ever hope to make up for a fundamental lack of self-acceptance. And it’s a surprisingly sensitive subject!
What self-acceptance does is open up more possibilities of succeeding because you aren’t fighting yourself along the way.
― Shannon Ables
If you’ve ever asked someone how they really feel about themselves, you probably noticed that they found the question both intrusive and distinctly uncomfortable. It might seem surprising, but some people can even become quite upset. It’s as if you’re challenging the value and nature of their deepest and most intimate relationship. And the relationship we have with ourselves absolutely qualifies as the deepest and most intimate relationship we can possibly experience. That’s why it’s so important to make sure that this most fundamental connection is healthy, strong, supportive and fueled by the power of unconditional love. Does that sound like a tall order to you? The relationship we create with ourselves deserves to satisfy all of these criteria. Because that’s when great things really begin to show up in our lives.
Every day I wake up and ask myself, ‘How can I accept myself and others more fully?’
― Alaric Hutchinson
At this point, most people are curious to know how to develop a healthier and more positive relationship with themselves. And one of the easiest starting points is to turn your bathroom mirror into a very effective tool in the quest for self-acceptance. Most of us head into the bathroom first thing in the morning and this is the perfect moment to look at your reflection – and smile. That’s it. Nothing else. Just smile.
At first it can feel slightly uncomfortable to do this but the method is wonderfully simple whilst being surprisingly effective.
Our usual reaction when we see ourselves in the mirror is to look for any faults, defects and imperfections in our reflection. And, if we’re looking for faults, we’ll usually find them. But a simple smile registers a much more positive message. It’s a universally recognised expression of acceptance. When we smile at ourselves, we’re sending an unmistakable signal of approval that resonates on a profoundly emotional level. Your conscious mind probably won’t appreciate the gesture. But don’t underestimate the impact of a simple smile, even when it’s deliberately directed at yourself.
Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because once one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.
― Lao Tzu
The next step is to give yourself the kind of message that will really help you to feel more comfortable with who you are. One of the great mantras that you might like to introduce into your daily routine is a very simple statement that deserves constant repetition throughout the day.
You simply say to yourself “Who I am – is enough.”
That's a very powerful statement and a great way to neutralise the hidden feelings of doubt and inadequacy that haunt far too many people today.
When you learn to accept yourself and begin to appreciate that who you are right now is enough, you start to peel away the layers of internal resistance that conspire to rob you of your ambition, drive, happiness, your future success and fulfilment. The purpose of life is to grow beyond our limitations. So, a sense of self-acceptance is the best place to begin any process of personal development. By accepting yourself, you remove the negativity that anchors you to the past and inhibits future progress. Acceptance allows you to move more freely. You shed the weight of the past and find you’re able to move on. Any changes you might wish to make will feel more comfortable because self-acceptance frees us from the chains of self-judgement. Self-acceptance is the key to unleashing your untapped potential.
You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.
― Diane Von Furstenberg
When you feel more comfortable with who you are, you’ll find that you’re more likely to be kinder to yourself, more forgiving, more understanding. These qualities then extend quite naturally into your relationships with others. It’s a truly virtuous cycle of improvement on every level. You might also feel that you deserve to enjoy greater happiness and greater success. You’ll stop inventing excuses for not doing what’s necessary to bring these positive elements into your life. You’re more likely to direct your energy towards positive outcomes in your life. And your life will begin to change in ways that you couldn’t possibly imagine.
Being authentic begins with unconditional self-acceptance – imperfections and all.
― Azim Jamal & Brian Tracy
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