The Generous Act of Caregiving

“Hold on to me like a hug and let me lift you.” My legs braced themselves knowing not to use my back for the heavy lifting. Together, we pivoted from a seated to standing position.?

A month ago, I was taking care of my beloved partner Tom who had a hip replacement. The first week home from the hospital, it was the two of us. Caretaking was a familiar role for me. I worked in home healthcare for five years to get myself through college and even more recently to supplement my income, while I worked in various development positions.?

Caregiving can be a stressful role. Watching a loved one go through a health journey can be a difficult process, let alone having to devote hours of time and energy to help them heal. Yet, it’s a role that I’ve always enjoyed.?

Caregiving often calls us to lean into love we didn't know possible. - Tia Walker, Author

There is a simple joy that comes with taking care of someone. And, while it’s different from fundraising, there are lessons that reminded me that the skills that make a skilled fundraiser are what makes a good caretaker.?

1. Change creates tension. Tension focuses our attention. It forces action. It brings us closer - ready to find out how the tension will be relieved. Great fundraisers seek out tension. They don’t avoid it. Talented development professionals trust the process with donors and great donors revel in bringing the tension to a boiling point before relieving it.??
2. Forward motion is what stops the status quo. Challenging the status quo makes change. Caregiving often means seeking progress or anticipating what is next. Similarly, these tenants make good fundraisers great. They embrace each step forward and celebrate good days.?
3. Independence is a gift. Having competencies and being self-reliant gives a sense of control. Show them, teach them, and then let them handle tasks on their own. For our donors, the same is true. They are in control and I want them to exercise their own freedom.??
4. You have to prioritize your own needs. While it seems valiant to run ourselves into the ground for someone, it’s a selfish act. How could I be any help to my partner if I wasn't taking care of myself? No matter how much I want to be Superwoman, it’s impossible and balance helps everyone be their best self.
5. Storytelling is a window. You are giving people a glimpse of your worldview. Be prepared to talk about it, even if it seems basic. What may be a standard errand for you, is an adventure for someone else. Every visit is more enjoyable when you come with something to say. It’s your job in fundraising to bring the day-to-day to life, like caregiving.

There’s a lot that I’ve forgotten about caregiving, but there are many lessons that I’m grateful to remember. Years later, I think about the people I’ve cared for with fondness and I wonder how they’re doing. Caregiving means no one is alone and knowing that “philanthropy” translates into love of humanity is a reminder that our lives and happiness are all tied together.