Generative EI: Only for People Managers

A good people manager is discussed in the living room. Bad ones make their way to the dining table as well.

Have you watched the American sitcom, The Office? It's a workplace comedy. A motley group of office workers go through hilarious misadventures at the Scranton, Pennsylvania, branch of the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company.

94 percent viewers have liked this TV show.

Question is why?

You know the answer.

Because we all have had the pleasure of working with someone like Michael Scott the manager at some point in our careers.

Maybe you are working with one right now.

Imagine a manager who is so full of themselves that they can't see beyond their own shadow. But they call themselves humble. And that confuses the ones working with them so much that the mere definition of humility gets turned on it's head. You know where this is going. So I won't belabor it.

But think of awards in one's own name, think of oneself giving away awards, or going to even collect those, and everyone else is secondary. Think of pitching one department against another and showing extreme partisanship to one or two team members over others.

What becomes?

A perfect concoction for a toxic workplace with artificial harmony where no one speaks but everyone speaks behind each other's back. You know how The Office plays.

What can be done to generate some EI here?

A 360 degree feedback for the this manager js a must, else they must go to or be sent to a paid t group session. This will help them understand how their behaviors are affecting the ones around them. Did you know that most people managers have not gone through first time manager's training? Usually it is 12 years before they get subscribed to a first time manager's training.

Feedback increases self awareness

A Book that can help: Leadership and Self-deception

Michael ducked difficult conversations, did not like showing vulnerability, dressed like a gladiator(impenetrable), considered himself a celebrity in team meetings, announced way too much pomp and never looked into the eyes of the ones he did not want to have difficult conversations with.

Ever felt so working with a manager?

This is not a sign of strength. It is a huge call out beseeching an intervention to help get better.

I once had a wonderful manager who saw this shortcoming in me, made me sit through a tough T- group session with my team, and got me a coach to help me get better. Trust me it was a painful operation but cured me full well.

What can be done to generate some EI here?

Sponsored coaching improves managerial performance

A book that can help: Crucial Conversations

Have you seen Michael's need to win at whatever cost? The game of basketball in the warehouse?

Michael does not like anyone stealing his thunder, does not believe in telling people if they did something right, likes to catch them making mistakes, or when their chips are down

Ring a bell?

I don't need to fill you in on this . I'm sure you have had the pleasure of working with a humble manager.

Too much achievement orientation is not good especially when running a team where you have hired achievers. They will clearly walk away to a place where they get avenues to present themselves better. Wonderful secret to team attrition.

How to generate an antidote to this?

Give others a chance to shine.

Book that can help generate this: Whale Done

Michael's own counterpart calls him obnoxious and someone who does not care

Let me put it this way....death of curiosity is the death of empathy.

What do I mean?

How can you care about others when you clearly do not care to know who they are. There are managers who weave stories about their team and alienate them, and then there are managers who know the life story of each of their team members. This helps them figure out opportunities to create meaningful experiences for their team. It helps them yield the stage to let their team shine. It helps them ask questions and hold space for meaningful dialogs. The team finds a therapist and a counselor in their manager. We spend most of the working hours with these people. If they can't give psychological safety then who will

How can one generate empathy?

I suggest you watch a William Hurt movie called The Doctor

Bottomline is, EI(emotional intelligence) can be generated.

What EI is not:

Pleasantries

Cursory inquiry about well- being and family

Fake inclusion

Using pop language of people management

Humor at others' expense

Acting mysterious and enigmatic

Selective empathy(upwards or sideways)

What EI is for a start

Giving your team opportunities for enhanced status, giving them certainty of relationship with you,giving them autonomy of work, helping them relate with their 360 degree ecosystem better, and being fair to one and all on the team.(credit:David Rock for SCARF model)

What's in it for you?

Unique ability to lead

Better brand

Future readiness for the human world of work

Improved self esteem

Followership

Remember, EI does not need sacrifice. On the contrary, it pays rather well. Check out Daniel Goleman's book, Working with EI

Finally, why am I writing this?

Firstly, I care. I care about the world of work as a humanist. Second, if I didn't, someone else would have.