Generational Wisdom is Where it’s At. Where’s It Gone and How Do We Get it Back?

As human beings, we are social creatures who thrive when we can learn from and lean on each other. As our communities have become less nuclear and fractured by the isolation and disconnection of recent years, we have lost natural opportunities for generational wisdom to be passed on to the people we love most. In addition, phones and social media have disrupted authentic connection and time to share the simple and most meaningful advice that provides us with the courage, strength, and wisdom?to move forward with optimism and hope. The connection and simplicity of the wisdom transmitted from those who have lived life are so powerful that many of them have been passed down for centuries.

Generational wisdom provides perspective, authenticity, and guidance. Without such wisdom, we are more likely to develop idealized versions of ourselves and the lives that we THINK we SHOULD live— what we think will bring lasting happiness. Unfortunately, this is not true or even possible, as the mere thought that happiness is permanent dismisses that all emotions come and go, and life is full of bumps and curve balls.?The lack of lost moments for connection and storytelling are impacting our children's morals, self-worth, and ability to be present in the moment. This is the first generation to grow up in?a world of social media—filters, angles, photoshop, fake backdrops, and the list could go on and on, all of which distort their reality with unrealistic data that is being used to form their daily thoughts and self-worth. These standards are becoming even more unrealistic and far-fetched as technology continues to be an integral platform for seeking information. With the over-reliance on these platforms, we continue to lose perspective, connection, and belonging.

Although we typically think of generational wisdom as being passed down from older generations, such wisdom can also come from our youth, especially right now. The emotional current of the world is heavy. Kids and teens feel it as much or more than the adults around them. This generation is here to teach us that feelings are okay and that emotional safety is not only real but matters SO much. Neuroscience shows us that when we are not emotionally safe it is harder to learn, problem solve, engage in meaningful conversations and connection. We need generational wisdom and interaction to slow down and counterbalance the ill effects of a fast-paced society and constant barrage of information.?

Generational wisdom frequently occurs naturally in the context of simple activities done together?– playing board games, engaging in physical activity, having dinner together, watching the sky light up with lightning bugs – always in the context of enjoying one another’s company and being truly present and engaged.?

• Lean in and listen, really listen.?
• Slow down and savor the moments together.
• Look for opportunities to present themselves.?
• Comment simply, without lecturing or framing it as “a lesson.”
• Simply be and observe in silence, taking moments in.?

This is generational wisdom that inspires and encourages us to move forward and develop our own wisdom and insights through our experiences.?

1. The Biggest Investment I ever made and the?most Important?Investment I ever made is also the Most Rewarding Investment I ever made – MY FAMILY!

Tell your wife/husband, your partner, your parents and your children that you love them more often – I wish I could tell my mom and dad one more time.

Take care of yourself physically and mentally so that you can provide your family with these priceless gifts. Children are tuned into our behaviors and emotions on such a deep level that we often forget how significant and impactful our mere presence can be. The safety of their relationship with us, can help them explore the world more freely and with more confidence.?

2. Self- awareness is a key leadership tool.

Leaders cannot lead without other people. Self-awareness recognizes that your actions, communications, tone, and strategies impact others. A good leader has a vision of who they want to be, how they want to be, and how their actions further the goals of the company or organization. A good leader knows when to stay silent, when to praise and how to provide constructive feedback in an emotionally safe and motivating environment. Everyone wants to know that they are valued and matter. Creating this type of environment is a win for all, as happiness is contagious and people work harder when they are seen and heard.?

• Do you really know how others see you?
• What do your employees say about you when you are not around?
• Look behind you once in a while to see if anyone is following.
• Listen and Learn: I never learned anything while I was talking

3. On Dying?“Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that's all.

You can’t see their smile or bring them food or touch their hair or move around the dance floor. But when these senses weaken, another heightens. Memory! Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You Dance with it. Life has to end” -?By Mitch Albom.

My dad always said focus on creating memories, you can’t take the rest with you and in the end none of those things actually matter.?

Grief and loss are an ever present part of life, even more so now over the past few years. Yes, mourning has been more difficult. It’s hard to say goodbye when we feel isolated or disconnected from others. Likewise, we may mourn the loss of that single connection even more when others have been lost.?

In this season of loss, remember that the reason we grieve is that someone touched our hearts in a meaningful way and left a lasting impression that will always remain. Honor their gifts to you. Carry forward those you have lost with you in your heart. Spread the wisdom and kindness you may have gained from them.?

Create memories in the here and now and take the time to use all of your senses to etch these moments in your mind and body. Life is a gift and each day is yours to make the most of or to simply let the day pass by. Be purposeful and create traditions that provide more opportunities for these deep moments of connection and joy to occur. Often the simplest activities are the most meaningful, so throw away the idea of ‘go big or go home’. In the end, kids really just want your attention and to know you care.?

4. Be kind.

• Positive attitudes are contagious.
• Random acts of kindness feel good. Do them often.
• Show interest in others.

Be a part of your community. Give food to the homeless on the street, buy a stranger a cup of coffee, help someone load groceries. It will keep you grounded and make YOUR day too. A smile, a kind word, and a thoughtful gesture can mean the world to someone. Kindness matters and doesn’t have to cost anything.?

Another under-recognized benefit of kindness is that it gives you different perspectives. It allows you to get outside of?your own head and see the world and the people around you. When we practice kindness, we feel more grounded. My dad also always reminded me that smiling is the best way to improve your looks and to attract the people that are more likely to fill you up!?

5. When the horse is dead?- Dismount!

That’s quite a visual, but effective. So often, we get caught up in how things should be or should have been that we don’t recognize or allow for change. When we get stuck in the past or on something that has occurred that we cannot control, we experience heightened emotions such as frustration and sadness, and find it difficult to move forward. Change is an inherent part of life as is struggle, that often cannot be predicted.?

Although it’s important to acknowledge the situation and associated feelings, we must also let go of what cannot be changed, learn from mistakes, and grow into our future. Ask yourself if focusing on what is done will help you keep growing or just keep you stuck in the suck?

6. Before you quit a job, make sure you have another one lined up.?

Although this adage seems specific to work-life, it can be generalized. In any given situation, pause and gain perspective of what’s working and what’s not. Know what else is out there before taking the leap. Essentially, be intentional and less impulsive about decision-making.?This doesn’t mean we can’t take risks, but make sure you have a back up plan!!

7. When you’re interviewing for a position, sell yourself.?

Know your worth and your value and how you can make a difference. Don’t be afraid to build upon your strengths. You have to believe in yourself. People can feel your confidence and will catch your energy. Confidence is far different from arrogance and we all deserve to feel good about our strengths.

8. Surround yourself with good people and good things will happen.

We get into the most trouble when we try to be someone who we aren’t. That is when we attract the wrong people and doubt ourselves the most. Being you begins with accepting who you are and the values that drive you at your core. It can then extend to the people you CHOOSE to surround yourself with instead of the people you THINK you SHOULD be with. We all need to be with the people who want to be with us and people who don’t make us have to work for their attention. Friends shouldn’t make you chase them.?Friends should be safe and expressing your needs should be welcomed and not criticized.

9. Before you speak, ask yourself how is this going to FEEL to the person you are speaking to?

The ability to step outside yourself is a gift. Use it!!!

10. Problems don’t solve themselves – deal with them

The fear of addressing a problem only grows with avoidance. Face it and don’t let it bring you down and waste a week of life putting it off. The fear of the fear is always worse than the actual event.?

The first part of solving a problem is to recognize and identify the problem itself. Accept the challenge that it may bring. Pause and gather information about the problem and what you can and cannot control. You don’t have to figure it all out at once. Take it one step at a time. Be patient as problems sometimes can take time to work through. Know you also don’t have to solve problems on your own. Feel free to brainstorm with others who can often provide perspectives that you cannot gain on your own. Have confidence that you will figure out how to handle the problem, even if it takes more time than you’d like or if it’s harder than you thought. You can do hard things and you can solve problems, once you have information and perspective.?

11. Do the right thing – choose the “hard “right vs the ”easy “wrong

Often the best choice is the hardest choice, but also the most rewarding choice. It feels good when our actions line up with our values and intentions.

12. In the absence of information people make things up – communication is very important

ESPECIALLY with kids!! When we don’t communicate in an age-appropriate way, kids make up their own excuses that are usually self focused and worst-case scenario. Our minds are very active and create scenarios that aren’t even possible when we are grasping for information.?

Using technology, such as texts and SnapChat, we lose context and it’s so easy to not only fill in the gaps but respond impulsively but ineffectively as we really don’t have all the information or even time to process. Context, tone, and nonverbals are so important. When it matters, have conversations in person since so much gets lost when we don't, and it shows that you care enough to engage in a real conversation.?

13. Money is not the greatest motivation …it’s PASSON!

Love what you are doing or do something else. Choose a life you can enjoy because we all have an expiration date! Your health is your wealth and is directly related to feeling good about what you do and the difference you are making. Text: Financial security is a beautiful thing, but more money doesn’t mean more happiness. Passion truly is purpose and provides us with more opportunities to experience happiness within ourselves and with the people we love most.?Let you kids find THEIR passion and resist the urge to CHOOSE it for them.?

14. Perseverance is a great substitute for talent.

Find what moves you and keep trying. We grow the most from stumbling and getting back up! It actually helps grow parts of our brain that are necessary for developing empathy and post traumatic wisdom.?I have never met a person that intrigues me that hasn’t had their fair share of struggles. Struggles are an inevitable part of life and our struggles are meant to be shared and pain is not meant to be experienced alone or stored in our heart. Keep going, failure is part of the journey, and perseverance is one of your greatest strengths.?

15. Be kind to those less fortunate.

Ask yourself how hard it would be to have a sick child, loved one, financial struggles, or just losing a loved one? When someone seems off, there is likely a good reason and if you are present enough you will be in tune to pick up on the subtle cries for help.?Research shows that people want someone to ask if they are okay when they are struggling!! Notice, validate and be present.

16. Money is not the greatest motivation …it’s PASSON!

Love what you are doing or do something else. Choose a life you can enjoy because we all have an expiration date! Your health is your wealth and is directly related to feeling good about what you do and the difference you are making.