Generational Curses & Therapy

It’s no secret that a common struggle within many communities that have been systematically oppressed and marginalized is a scarcity mindset. It makes complete sense to me that scarcity is so deeply rooted; when your community has had to operate, exist, and survive in conditions where basic resources are scarce, the idea of having to protect resources and positions fiercely becomes second nature. It is a juxtaposition to the ideals of many of these communities, which often value and prize collectivism and community.?

As a South Asian woman, I’ve often torn between these conflicting modes. On one hand, we prize being together, see value in sharing resources with our community, and share a rich tapestry of culture and history. On the other hand, the impacts of colonialism have left their scars; the survival of the fittest manifests itself through superiority ranking through colorism, caste, and what I often see manifesting as “mean girl” behaviors among South Asian women.?

This past week, I was reminded of this scarcity mindset in an interaction with someone who I care for that was hurtful to me. It caused me to pause and consider why the person chose to behave in the way that they did. In reality, I am no fortune teller, nor am I a gossip or someone who believes in shame, blame, or perfectionism.

However, one notable theme across the interaction was that this person’s decision-making was to protect their self-interest. It reminded me of the scarcity mindset that so many underrepresented people are raised with.

More importantly, it was also an excellent reminder that if we don’t do the work necessary to be able to identify the scarcity mindset within ourselves, it runs the risk of passing on to others within our communities and, worse of all (for me at least), to our children.

I refuse to allow this to pass along to my children because I saw how a scarcity mindset wreaked havoc in my community.?

I’ve intentionally invested in doing the work I need to with the critical support of a culturally competent therapist, so I can:

• Unpack and heal the trauma that systemic racism, discrimination, oppression, and misogyny have caused in my life.
• Explore the impact of the Partition of India-Pakistan on my family, of which I am only two generations removed, and how that has impacted my community.
• Understand how, as a descendant of refugees with a mixed cultural background, I can define my unique cultural identity and wear it with pride.
• Do the necessary work to begin decolonizing my mind, values, and perceptions of myself and the world.
• Process ongoing stressors and triggers as a DEI practitioner with grace, staying rooted in my truth and values.?

My therapist and I have been working together for seven years. That’s right. 7. I am so grateful that she has been a part of my community, helping me to live out my goal of breaking generational curses.?

By doing this much-needed work alongside the help of a therapist, I’ve also been able to stay anchored in one of my core values: abundance.?

This is a huge departure from the scarcity mindset that runs rampant in many underrepresented communities.

But if we truly expect to rise as groups of people, that means we have to be willing to equally invest in each other, root for each other, support each other and lift each other up. That can only happen if there is a fundamental belief that enough exists to go around for all of us.?

Enough can apply to:

• Opportunity
• Jobs
• Money
• Resources
• Friends
• Status
• Titles
• You name it

The scarcity mindset did not emerge overnight, and I don’t anticipate that it will disappear overnight either. It comes from generations of people being deprived of basic needs.

Empathy, compassion, and persistence will be required of all of us to dismantle and unpack this deeply seeded mindset, placed through no fault of our own. But I believe that for us to advance and finally be rid of a mindset that still results in divide-and-rule, self-examination is necessary.

The reviews are in!

The first Rising Leaders Cohort has officially wrapped and these phenomenal women have grown leaps and bounds in five weeks. They will continue to participate in Rising Leaders as alumni, staying connected via our Slack community.

Here are a few things they had to say about participating in the program:

A huge congratulations to Sadaf Lakhia , Mija Lieberman , Kaitlyn Elting, MSW , and Krysta Johnson for becoming the first alumni! ??

What's next for Rising Leaders?

Our April cohort is kicking off next week and we're almost at capacity! ??

I keep these cohorts intentionally small so that every participant has the time, attention, and energy they deserve.

This will be the final Spring cohort and I look forward to welcoming the next cohort in August!

Timing for the April cohort not work for you? Want to be put on the waitlist for the August cohort? Message me to join the waitlist!