The Generation Gap

A Widening Gap

The generation gap affects the elderly population the most. They are the ones who may recognize the changing world around them the most. The world they now live in is very different from the one they knew. Life as they knew it has gone extinct. Gone are the days and memories they remembered, the world they once took for granted.

Although we may feel sandwiched between taking care of the old and young, our parents often feel a gap widening between them and their world. While the scenery remains the same and the faces may change here and there, the customs, protocols, and gestures seemed to have morphed into something that lacks any familiarity to them. That, in itself, can be scary at times.

Remember the childhood memories of hearing the adults talk about how much the world has changed since they were children? In our eyes, the world was a new and exciting place to explore or observe. However, as we matured into adulthood, somewhere between the rat-race lifestyle and the busyness of life may have left us unaware of many changes. Perhaps it didn’t. Regardless, a lot has changed.

Our aging parents see that change as well. From the strict (or lax) upbringing they experienced to the changes they made in their own families, now they begin to see the “fruit” or results of their contributions. If they invested (or did not put much) time into their children, the results are seen with the grandchildren. Depending on their relationships in the family, influence the new generation. 

From My Perspective

I remember Dad would sit on the couch and reminisce about his past, his childhood. His grandmother gave him a quarter to spend at the corner store. Growing up (1960s), he would go to the store with a dollar. He bought bread, milk, and cigarettes and came home with change. Fifteen cents for a loaf of bread; twenty cents for a gallon of milk; fifty-five cents for a pack of cigarettes, and ten cents in change.

How’s that for different?

Our aging parents are likely from the Baby Boomer generation, the first generation to really have everything at their fingertips and the last generation to enjoy the benefits of families living closer together. Since then, several new generations have developed; families are smaller and live further from each other. Technology is a fact of life and human connections seem to be rare. Our parents are either walking in stride with the changes over the years or they parked somewhere in the past and feel out of touch with everything.

Other Complicating Factors

My family lived in a different city than most of my relatives. We would travel 45 minutes on a weekly basis to visit grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. It may have been normal for me, but for my parents, it was something new. They had always lived within minutes of each other. Now, present day, the whole family lives hours – or days – away from each other. It makes it more difficult to spend time with aging parents; while phones are a convenience to communicate, time works against us.

Today, most of the elderly are left to themselves, almost shunned by society if they do not have a certain level of independence. As the aging generations begin to lose their independence, a sense of losing touch with the outside world simultaneously develops. They miss out on valuable human connections and may feel useless or unwanted. The lack of human connection from younger generations conveys a negative message. This may be a contributing factor in the generation gap. 

Closing the Gap between Generations

The elderly may seem to be out of touch with today’s world, but they hold a level of wisdom and experience that most of us are not aware of. Closing the gap between generations can be done in small steps. It’s the little things we do in life that have the greatest impact. Here are a couple of ideas to help close that gap.

Young children are a joy to the aging generation. They bring a sense of new life and excitement. For some aging parents, young children allow them to operate in their limited capacity. The simple human connection is strengthened with time and interaction. 

Make the commitment to call regularly with your aging parents. Give them the time to express themselves uninterrupted. Acknowledge them and validate them, letting them know that you’re listening and you care.