Gender Inequality in Domestic Abuse Policies and the Exploitation of Victim Rights

By Walthari Nikolaj (Survivor)

For years, the narrative surrounding domestic abuse has been overwhelmingly focused on protecting women and girls, as evidenced by the Violence Against Women and Girls (VAWG) strategy that dominates UK policy. While this focus is crucial in addressing the very real violence women and girls face, there is a disturbing imbalance in how these policies are being implemented—a gender bias that has left men and boys vulnerable, unheard, and often dismissed. The current policies have allowed not just neglect of male victims but also the abuse of public services by individuals who manipulate these systems for control and coercion.

This gender disparity in the treatment of victims is not only an injustice; it is a systemic failure that is costing lives, fostering a culture of inequality, and perpetuating abuse. A particular case that exemplifies this broken system occurred under the jurisdiction of West Midlands Police, where policies intended to safeguard victims were twisted into tools of oppression by those claiming victim status. This issue demands our urgent attention, not just for fairness, but for the safety and well-being of all individuals, regardless of gender.

The Legal Framework Exists, but Practice Fails to Deliver

On paper, the UK's legal system offers robust protection for all individuals, regardless of gender. The Equality Act 2010 and the Human Rights Act 1998 enshrine the principles of equality and fairness, guaranteeing that everyone should receive equal treatment under the law. However, the reality on the ground tells a different story. The policies and practices under the current Conservative government—particularly those implemented by West Midlands Police—have resulted in significant disparities that leave male victims of domestic abuse underserved and unprotected.

The VAWG agenda, while well-intentioned, has inadvertently skewed public perception and policy toward seeing women as the primary victims and men as the primary perpetrators. This has created an environment where the experiences of male victims are sidelined, trivialized, or outright ignored. Worse, it has allowed a subset of individuals—female abusers, and those associated with them—to manipulate the system, using victim rights to perpetuate their own control and coercion over men.

Exploiting Victim Rights: A Dangerous Trend

In the name of protecting victims, the system has given access to sensitive information that can be easily weaponized. This includes information about an individual's release from custody, their whereabouts, and other personal data that can be exploited by abusers masquerading as victims. In many cases, these policies have enabled what can only be described as state-supported stalking—where an abuser is handed tools by public services to continue their harassment and control.

I experienced this firsthand. I was subjected to severe emotional and psychological abuse by individuals who were fully aware of how to manipulate the system to their advantage. They claimed victim status, not to seek justice, but to gain access to information about me. This allowed them to coordinate an attempt to sabotage my freedom upon release from custody, causing further distress and alarm. Instead of protecting me, the system actively facilitated their ongoing harassment, all under the guise of victim protection.

What should have been safeguards for genuine victims were, in my case, twisted into instruments of control. This is not an isolated incident but a growing trend. The abuse of victim rights—designed to provide safety and support—is increasingly being used by narcissistic or manipulative individuals to further their control over others. The result is that actual victims, like myself, are re-victimized by the system meant to protect us.

VAWG: A Misguided Policy Focus

The Violence Against Women and Girls agenda was developed to address the disproportionate levels of violence women face globally. It remains a necessary and vital strategy, as women and girls continue to be subjected to unacceptable levels of abuse. However, the singular focus on women and girls as victims has created significant blind spots for other vulnerable groups—specifically men and boys. Domestic abuse, coercive control, emotional manipulation, and psychological harm do not discriminate based on gender, but the policies and practices of West Midlands Police and many other agencies do.

The overwhelming focus on VAWG means that male victims often have no avenue to seek justice. They are either disbelieved, not taken seriously, or treated as secondary concerns. This gendered bias in the system leaves men and boys highly vulnerable to abuse, not just by their partners or abusers but by the institutions that should be protecting them.

Male victims are not only denied protection but are frequently treated as perpetrators, even when the facts suggest otherwise. The stereotype of men as aggressors and women as victims has deeply permeated policing and public services. This assumption creates a dangerous situation where the experiences of male victims are overlooked, and manipulative individuals are able to exploit gender-biased policies for their own gain.

A System That Enables Abusers

What is most alarming is how easily the current system can be manipulated by abusers, often without scrutiny or accountability. In my case, I was wrongfully imprisoned, assessed unnecessarily in a forensic psychiatric facility, and wrongly convicted due to the machinations of those claiming victim status. These individuals were able to manipulate public services, including West Midlands Police, to act as tools of their coercion and control.

This is not just a failure of individual officers or departments; it is a structural problem rooted in policies that overwhelmingly favour one gender while neglecting the other. The system, as it stands, is enabling abusers to continue their patterns of control and manipulation with the state’s support. Policies designed to protect victims are being weaponized against the very people they were meant to protect, turning the justice system into an enabler of abuse rather than a safeguard against it.

The Need for Reform: Equality in Practice, Not Just in Law

"Domestic abuse is a human issue, not a gendered one"

The solution is not to roll back protections for women and girls, but to expand protections to ensure that all victims of abuse, regardless of gender, are treated equally and fairly. Domestic abuse is a human issue, not a gendered one, and the policies must reflect that reality. A gender-neutral approach to domestic abuse should be the standard, one that offers protection to all victims, whether male or female and holds abusers accountable, regardless of their gender.

Specifically, I call for the following reforms:

1. Stricter Safeguards on Victim Rights: Access to sensitive information, such as release dates or whereabouts, should be restricted and subject to higher levels of scrutiny. There should be greater accountability when releasing such information, to prevent abusers from using it to maintain control over their victims.
2. A Gender-Neutral Domestic Abuse Framework: Policies should be updated to treat all victims of domestic abuse equally. This includes acknowledging that men and boys can also be victims of serious emotional, psychological, and physical abuse.
3. Prevent the Weaponisation of Public Services: Measures need to be introduced to ensure that police forces and public services are not used as tools by abusers to further harm their victims. Public services should be vigilant in detecting manipulation and exploitation of victim rights, and there must be consequences for those who misuse these systems.
4. Increased Awareness and Training: Police officers and other public service workers should receive ongoing training to recognise and address the diverse forms of domestic abuse that affect both men and women. This includes breaking down harmful gender stereotypes that bias the system.

Conclusion: Fighting for True Equality and Justice

The current policies, particularly those enforced by West Midlands Police, have created a system that leaves men and boys dangerously exposed to abuse while allowing abusers to manipulate public services for their own gain. This is not just a failure of the law, but a failure in the practical application of equality. It is time for a complete overhaul of how domestic abuse is handled in the UK. Only by creating a truly gender-neutral system—where all victims are protected equally—can we hope to address the widespread and damaging effects of abuse in our society.

I stand as a victim of this broken system, and I call on policymakers, police authorities, and the public to demand change. Gender equality in practice is not just about protecting one group; it is about ensuring that every person, regardless of their gender, is given the same protection, rights, and justice. Only then can we build a society where abuse in all its forms is properly addressed, and victims—regardless of gender—are truly supported.

Let’s make sure no one is left behind.

#GenderInequality #DomesticAbuseAwareness #VictimRights #MaleVictimsMatter #VAWGPolicy #JusticeForAll #EqualityInPractice #EndGenderBias #ProtectAllVictims #StopAbuse #CoerciveControl #MentalHealthMatters #VictimProtection #SystemicFailure #GenderNeutralPolicy #ReformTheSystem #AbuseAwareness #WestMidlandsPolice #DomesticViolenceReform #AbuseHasNoGender #EndStateSupportedStalking #AbusePrevention #HumanRights #EmotionalAbuse #MaleSurvivors #StopTheWeaponization #PublicServiceReform #EqualityAct #PolicyFailures #PoliceAccountability #JusticeReform #EqualJusticeForAll #LawEnforcementReform #FairPolicing #ProtectAllCitizens #JusticeForVictims #ReformDomesticAbuseLaws #PoliceBias #GenderEqualityInJustice