Gem Collector of the Second Kind

All my life I have been a collector of gems but not gems as in diamonds, emeralds, jades, rubies, and sapphires; I have been collecting gems as in pearls, and more specifically “pearls of wisdom”. And what I have been trying to do all my life is to figure out the big picture, or string a beautiful necklace out of the individual pearls if you will. It’s only now, after 30+ years of trying, that I am able to do it. But I will let you be the judge of how good a job I am doing.

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Metamorphosis means change, but in order for it to happen, you need to have an open mind that is ready to change. I have met a lot of people who have an open mind, and many who simply don’t. I think at some point in their lives, the people in the latter category say, “This is how I am, this is how other people are, and this how the world is. And that’s that.” In other words, they freeze their worldview. Then when anybody comes along and challenges that worldview, it is perceived as challenging them, because the worldview has become an indistinguishable part of their identity.

However, if you are always open to the possibility that there could be a better way of looking at things, doing things, and leading life in general, none of this would happen. When somebody comes along and says something that is different from your worldview, you would simply listen to it, judge it on its own merit, and accept or reject it, without paying any attention to who is saying it, and without getting angry or making any fuss whatsoever. Simple as that.

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In one of Sadhguru’s videos, he recalls a conversation he had with his daughter when she was about 12 years old. That day, she came to him and said, “Baba, you teach so many things to strangers. Why haven’t you taught me anything?”

Sadhguru replied, “I am not in the habit of giving unsolicited advice to anybody, not even my own daughter. I never taught you anything because you never asked me anything. Now that you have, let me tell you that there’s only one thing that you need to know and it is this. “Never look up to anybody and never look down on anybody. Then and only then will you see the world as it is.”

I agree with that 100%. Why? Because when you look up to someone, you can’t see their faults, or the fallacies in what they are saying / doing. And when you look down on someone, you can’t see the good things that they are saying / doing… you can’t judge what they are saying on its own merit. That’s because you aren’t even listening to them. Instead, in your mind, you are going, Who does he think he is? And where the hell did he get the nerve to give me advice?

So, stop looking up to people and looking down on people. Then and only then will your mind stop being a wonky mirror and become a plain one. And then and only then it will show you how you really are, how other people really are, and how the entire world really is. And when that happens, what choice do you have but to accept it?

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In his talk titled Depression and Anxiety (Mental Treatment symptoms causes signs spiritual without drug clinical), Ajan Brahm has narrated the two-bad-bricks story. Ajan Brahm built the main wall in the Bodinyana monastery at Serpentine in Western Australia. After building the wall, he realized that two bricks were misaligned. He tried to fix the problem but couldn’t because the mortar had already solidified by then. From that point on, he couldn’t bear to look at the wall because every time he looked at it, all he saw was those two bad bricks!

Then one day a monk came to visit Ajan Brahm ‘s monastery. When that monk was standing in front of the wall, he remarked, “That’s a beautiful wall.” Ajan Brahm has narrated this part of the story very nicely. He asked him, “Have you forgotten your prescription glasses in your car? Or are you visually impaired? Can’t you see the two bad bricks in the wall?” To that the other monk replied, “Yes, I see the two bad bricks, but I also see the ninety-eight other good bricks!” That is when, Ajan Brahm says, he realized that he was blind. He was so focused on the two bad bricks that he simply couldn’t see the other ninety-eight good bricks.

This story is a beautiful metaphor for what we do in our lives as well. We focus on the two bad bricks in our lives which blinds us to the other ninety-eight good bricks. I did this a lot when I was in the “Paradise Lost” phase of my career. Good things started happening the moment I realized this, changed my outlook, and consequently started seeing the many good things that had happened along with the handful of bad things.

We do this because of our conditioning, and we get a good part of that conditioning because of the major news outlets; they focus only on the bad things that are happening in the world around us. That might lead you to think that only bad things are happening in the world, which is obviously not the case. For every two bad things that are happening in the world, there are ninety-eight other good things happening in the world. In general, at any given moment of time, everything is happening in the world. The question is: what do you want to focus on?

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In the same talk, Ajan Brahm has narrated another story. There were two chicken farmers. One of them was a stupid chicken farmer; he used to go to the shed every morning, leave the eggs there to rot, and bring home all the shit. The other farmer, on the other hand, was smart; he used to go to the shed every morning, leave the shit there, and bring in all the eggs. So he would make breakfast for his family with some eggs. He would sell the remaining eggs in the market and make money.

Again, this story is a beautiful metaphor for what we do in our lives. At the end of every day, what we remember are the bad things, or the “shit” that happened that day. “My boss said this. My co-worker did that. I got pulled over today and got a ticket for speeding.” In other words, when we have a choice of remembering all the good things that happened during the day, all we remember (and carry forward to the next day) are the bad things. In other words, we are “shit collectors”… like the stupid chicken farmer.

When I first heard this story, it hit me like a ton of bricks because I realized that it was so true! And the moment I stopped doing that (or reduced it considerably), I started feeling so much better.

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These are just 4 of the gems that I have collected over the course of my lifetime. I have given them to you now. They are yours. Use or lose.

I have also been able to figure out the big picture, or the 30,000-feet view as they say, to a large extent. I will talk about that in the following articles.

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This article is part of a series of articles on self-improvement for working professionals.