Gelemaan BY OMAR KHALED RUMI

I had no idea about Geleman, it was normal, because I had never seen her, even I have never heard anything about her from anybody. However when I heard about her for the first time, the interest of knowing enhanced. But I had to kept secret; obviously there was nothing to do. There was no scope to ask a lot to the person who first informed about her. It was hard to ask more than one question to the man. Moreover it would have to know about an beautiful girl, impossible. Geleman started to grow up inside my head.

I have a characteristic of my life of my own. Things turned rapidly, the story of Geleman was nothing exceptional. The issue of Geleman got momentum without any mentionable cause. We, both, Geleman and myself, sat to take food together in a post- funeral program of an ordinary death case, we talked to each other as usual. I became surprised to know her name, Geleman, how it could be released, I, was hit, as if, by a direct live ware of 440 volts, Is it Geleman? as such bright and shining? I took an additional glass of water, Geleman smiled to observe the mater, I was embarrassed a bit.

I received Geleman's script of poems in time, not most of those, rather all of those were political poetry. Geleman's mindset was influenced by a rest portion of socialism; however she seemed to be democratic in her poems.

I became upset to meet Geleman, one factor could be disclosed by the rest could n't I talked to her to discuss about her poems, but she did not show any interest, I became shocked a bit looked at the mirror, it was the first factor, Geleman also know that, that is why she was confused, her demand didn't harmonized with my reality, But I was aspirant also, it was my habit, also the strength, I don't break down easily.

I moved to have a look at the gents' parlor, altered my attire, but couldn't make me taller, so I used a shoe with high hill to make a standard at least, However it was not sufficient to match with Geleman to sit alongside, it was not even a minimum matching. It was ridiculous like pretending to be a peacock by an ordinary crow. But I remained static in that position. The meeting was urgent, not for Geleman, for myself. 

Lastly the response came from Geleman at the end of the week. I became strange a bit. Even she became aware about my preparation. I moved forward, Geleman also came and I decided to have a fine seat, but it couldn't happen; rather we had to sit on the grass field. Initially she laughed a while and then became consistent, Talks were going on, I started from the very beginning of the substance of socialism.

Geleman informed about her ignorance in socialism, it anything is evident as such, it would be a co-incidence. She didn't make anything consciously; basically she was democratic- oriented.

She was supposed to be democratic- minded, her father renowned freedom fighter Mansur Ahmed is still aware and active. His presence in each social program is tremendous and important. Geleman was the dream- child of her father. She was not seemed to be stronger enough to surpass her inheritance; however her strength was inner and hidden. It was clear that Geleman had been struggling with her own inner existence. It is a past to have confrontations about the decaying socialism with the rising and emerging capitalism. Today's world is the monopoly market of the democratic; however the socialists have been shadowed in writings of Geleman. Basically what did she want to indicate? Or is it her stunt of some sort? She tends to disclose her expertise in a new touch that was commenced by Amio chakrovarty and Bishnu Dey in a subtle technique and consciousness. They selected and choose the timely way to be established as a poet, might or might not be matched with life style or the reality. Has Geleman adopted the same technique? I started thinking of her technique, rather than her uncommon beauty. I ended the meeting for that day; there was no need to go to parlor any more. Geleman desired to sit again.

Geleman is now 35, while I am 45, differences in years of age, is not a good one. She holds a rising position in the town in writing. As she was very good to look at, editors also created an imaginary wall with Geleman. Her writings have been published one after another. Her excellence has been dominating others, I was one of them. Many famous writers have been defeated by her political ideology. Coordinating a deep inter-relation between pessimist image of Frida Kahlu or with the sadly image or connotation of Silvia Plath, Geleman has been creating classical write- ups one after another, that pushed in a stronger position than Ezra Poundor Anna Akhmateva in merely thirty five years of age. Geleman has been enjoying it interestingly. I, a lifelong student of literature, have been valuating myself successful in my boundless failure through recognizing Geleman as my teacher. She has been giving me time, arguing with me. Her gesture and body language amid arguing me helped to refrain from the fairy imagination. I was, as if a fortunate/ and lucky. However the astrologer indicated his hands as an empty one- neither dignity, honor, nor money, anything and never the beautiful woman. Even the stone will not make any change, as if a forbidden hand. The lines in hard are scattered, income is also meager, how it has been happened. On the other hand, Geleman seems to be more lively than any reward, might be the Nobel prize.

Currently my writings have been published in the newspaper. Geleman has touched the writing; I was supposed to be ashamed. I am at least 10 years senior to her. But not now apparently, lacking remains inside the body of human being, it comes out when get scope. I was not an exception, Geleman knew it, Beauty and brain make many things easier, even the stone.

I don’t know why Geleman has been doing those, I can even touch her ling their fingers, can have a look at her hands. Not more than that, no need. Let her be happy, husband of who lives abroad. Geleman also realizes the same. She is good to look at as well as writing poems. Though I am lagging behind far, She has shaped up me as her shadow. Shadow is also block and hazy, and I also agreed that.

One day Geleman asked me, how do you make diversity in your writings? What techniques do you adopt? Please say.

What diversity have you observed? You are more expert.

Myself or my writings?

Both are diverse. 

I am not less than thirty five.

Is it a more age? Each year revolves and comes to us, however the seasons are neither monotonous to us, nor pale or lifeless. Rather each year we wait to welcome the winter, summer or the rainy season, you are also same. Ok, thanks, no more, lest I can fail the brake like the socialism, excessive emotion has turned that into unreal, created a gap with the people and the vacant position has been occupied by the capitalism.

Geleman is within my reach, but not more than a touch, this touch can yield a poem. Each of her sorrow also produces a poetry. Ramanticism was excessive in my poems, Geleman observed that, It is more visible than the difference of subtle happiness exists between growing up as a human and a fish. It seems shameless, however I continued writing. Both Geleman and me exist in every poems of the town. Many more have passed already amid brain and technique, the latter is powerful however the first is sustainable. However to days, nobody cares for the sustainability. After the advent of china, existence of heavier industries in Europe and America was on the verge of extinction. Civilization has been runningin a strange way, it is hard to predict where the world is moving towards. Class of civilization of Hantington, end of civilization of Fracis Fukuoama or Third wave of Elvin Taflar-all are making confusions. People have fixed up the consuming and reality as the motto of life. Geleman herself knows it, however her husband lives in Europe and Geleman is lives here. Poetry is her blood and vains, it is the echo of movements of the hungry people surrounding the shocked persons. Geleman is also upset, however it is difficult to understand after looking at her.

Geleman was born in eighty five (85) according to her certificate, so she turns 32 now. It was actually 82 as same as mine was 72, though in certificate it was 75, It is an established culture in the sub-continent, hiding the actual age, it has no advantage, but everyone is habituated to do the name. Some sins are parts of our everyday life; we are accustomed with the practice, either consciously or in ignorance.

Geleman’s new novel is on the process of coming out, however the subject matter is still unclear. I am not interested right now, there is enough time to do so after publication. I am not out of it, we are close in personal or social life but in writing everyone is unknown to another one, it is natural, our writers are surviving with those characteristics.  

Geleman got maturity in 1996, while she was merely 14, However she was able to perceive a lot of issues. However her family atmosphere helped her acquire that sort of maturity. Movement for caretaker government was the top issue at that time. Geleman was quite aware about ins and outs of the movement. Subsequently the silence of lamps continued for two years from 2005, it got momentum again. Geleman was 23, poetry was the main arms everywhere, the city and it continued for an era. Geleman became familiar for her charming beauty and poems as well, many one became puzzled and influenced by her fragrance, HoweverI was ignorant about the same, I was involved with politics, writing was my second notion. Never I could reach at the mainstream. Geleman and some other were out of reach, sometimes they made some glimpses that could never affect the larger national context. Geleman was an established famous talent at that time.

Ice melted eventually,Geleman bowed down her head and started contacting us. I was not upset, how a polished life could be so precious, whose fragrance can’t be taken away duly? Isolation and backwardness always cripple them as such that their life become pale and colorless more than the dried leaves. It might be my personal opinion, because weak persons like us, seem to assess the world by their own judgement. Geleman might not be so nervous minded us I was thinking of her.

She has come out a major one from the realm of poetry, because of two probable causes, Her novel has been widely accepted and acclaimed, so she has given more concentration one the essay. Secondly her mindset was somehow inconsistent that was not fit for poems. The problematic relationship with her husband in one had that has been sharpened later and making a relationship with me has pushed her in a dilemma. The most painstaking she was not within herself and repeatedly wanted to return back to her own world, but in rain. She has produced some stories haphazardly, that she also didn’t like much.

Both of us are on the No Man’s Land, can cross any border if we desire. We can come to our own kingdom or can introduce in other’s area. Today, money is the most dominating factor.

Suddenly, Geleman has reduced her visibility, the winter has worsened more. It is difficult to realize the level of perception, everybody is saying, we are listening. But we can’t give full concentration, human being has limitations in a number of aspects, we couldn’t even hear the siren. I confined me within the room; writing was going on at a snail pace. I became upset like Geleman, the bankrupt prince, as if, severely confused. Basically everything can’t produce any meaning always.

Time is passing, in the year 2017, after ending of January, February has come. Once Geleman rushed to my residence and sat on the cot vehemently. Suddenly she told, Rumi, did we not exaggerate more in terms of using language? Do you think, Mr. Zinnah made an offense to establish Urdu as the national language of a newly established country Pakistan? Did we not make his expectation as a political stance? Did we not differentiate a line at the very early of the emergence of a state? What the Pakistanis would think, could do they think us close to them? We made a lot of questions before the uncommon and firm personality of Zinnah, did that not have influence the sub-sequent’s situation? What do you think?

Why do you ask so, after a long period? Are you writing something for history? Your first novel was a romantic fiction, have you changed the track with history?

February comes with a number of queries, how far have we been establish Bangla at the international arena? Language of some minor communities has achieved most esteem, what are our problems?

Can’t be said exactly, however I think, number was not the major issue, rather position, contribution and importance of those people of language were also considered. Those factors enrich the language, as you learn Japanese, if required. I think they don’t need to learn Bangla, we have not such a position.

-But we urged for the number of people?

-Leave it; do you like to take something?

-Yes, a cup of coffee.

 

Geleman extended one of her hands towards me while taking hot coffee, I touched has hand mildly. It was clear to be enough for the first day. Geleman got up after having coffee. I guessed she is somehow disturbed. So I abstained from talking, she left my residence. I looked at her new brand vehicle while it was the dark of evening.

Geleman was well aware that I wanted to say her something; however she didn’t want to let me say, because it would be meaningless. Affairs between a have not gay of 45 with a spouse of 35 years of another person carried no value. Both had a nominal family and though the ties of families were visible, but actually it was zero inside. Nothing better could be produced like that. A fertile and favorable environment is necessary before starting anything that we didn’t. So the thinkings were scattered and meaningless. Sometimes the destination seemed to be away for distance, Geleman was also for away from me like setting of the sun.

 

Ekushe February appeared, both of us were sitting together at the late afternoon. Grass field of the campus seemed to be moistured, young boys and girls were moving here and there. We were isolated from them, as they thought of us, we were stranger. However once we were like them, but that was a past, now we have reached at an age that indicates a number of issues, so we can’t sit too close to each other, some boundaries could not be crossed. We have reached at an unimportant position and we knew all of those.

 

Geleman phoned me at night, suddenly she told. Do you like to visit the Shaheed Minar? I was embarrassing a bit, could not decide to response. She realized and told, have you ever gone there?

I couldn’t find anything to reply, as I couldn’t find any benefit to hold a religious program, similarly it was not clear to honor the martyr memorials by offering flowers as a taken of love and respect. So my silence didn’t make her curious and he left phone.

Next day we met again, we didn’t focus on the previous day’s issue. Both of us touched our hands each other, now elopement seemed to be a formal one, belief of individuals should be kept unhurt.

Suddenly an occurrence took place, Geleman became very upset to go to her husband at London. Visa was arranged and I bid her lastly at the airport, some issues couldn’t be meant in life.

March 26 is upcoming, the great day of independence, enormous preparation has been taken everywhere to celebrate the day. Despite a bit political turmoil, the ruling Awami League has been in a strong position, but there is also a query. Why the party couldn’t yet make a reserved vote bank in exchange of their huge contribution for independence of this soil, who sacrificed a lot, where is the problem? It is not that a strong Islamic organization has boost up the support of 90% Muslims due to the religious ground. Rather Awami League has contributed everything for the wellbeing and development of the country. So, why the legacy is not in full favor?

Every attempt has been made to properly work the Independence Day, but nobody is concerned with a question. We are living inside the territory but how much do we believe in the boundary of 4850 kilometers?

So, all those preparations of Independence Day sometimes seem to be meaningless. I can’t realize how we lament and tears come out from eyes while we think of those who lost their lives and sacrificed for the soil?

As such fifteen days have been passed, Geleman landed at the Dhaka airport direct from London, she was scattered and pale, but I couldn’t control myself, to ask her whether the gap with her husband has been widened? Geleman could realize what I wanted to learn, but she kept silence at the entire route in the transport.

Geleman got crazy day by day. Discussion could be held between the duos (them), but it was not that, she started to attack me finding out the loopholes from write- up. All of those were the outcome of her irritation and upset, I understood the inconsistency of Geleman, but still I couldn’t touch the most sensitive corner of her heart. The love affair confined repeated at an invisible traffic signal. Both of us perceived that and sat silently at that signal, then again everything got normal. We also move forward. The life story again and again moved away leaving us in a world of confusion. 

Both of us got into altercation over the trifle matters, she got crazy and attacking and even hit me physically, I try to hear the sound of roaring of an unsatisfied soul, but keep silence. This was for the first time we started striking each other for an unknown reason. Geleman left expressing her sorrow and I observe the invisibility of a damaged building being perplexed.

It was evident that Geleman was beginning to read my writings, she didn’t comment anything about the short stories, but cited some of the areas of those stories, However she concentrated on the political write- ups, I wrote a book about Sajib Wazed Joy, titled “Sajib Wazed Joy” the leader of tomorrow. Geleman questioned, has the moment arrived to write about Sajib Wazed Joy? Besides, how did you assure that he would be leader of tomorrow, some other might be so? There are more eligible members in the Sheikh family, why they would be omitted! But even, I don’t have any suitable answer to all such questions, But I think joy would be the leader of the days to come, so I uttered the name, actually I tell candidly what I think in mind. Streamline has always a value in everything, history also supports that, you can justify.

I don’t have more time to check that, I am afraid for what have I learnt from the surrounding environment, you might live in an imaginary world but I always hear the roaring of dangerous animals. I don’t know whether you will give those importance or not but if would be easier if you could look at the world by the eyes of a woman, OK, leave the issue of joy, have you ever thought about Begum Mujib? You wrote about Bangabandhu, about Sheikh Hasina and even on Joy, But you couldn’t focus on her who held everything, actually she was out of your feelings.

I became puzzled and blamed myself, the voice became lower it is natural. The conscious and just make human more sufferer and shocked. Too many pride produces frustration eventually. Hence, as a nation, we are still lagging far behind, We seldom can justify our surroundings, our thoughts become scattered. Geleman left the spot, there was nothing left to share that day.

The Independence Day was solemnized duly, Geleman doesn’t bother for the same. Her concern is another one; many fake freedom fighters and collaborators have dishonored the national monument by offering flower there. They have prevented to be colored bird hiding their disbelief inside. They are trying to hide their all wrongdoings by wearing the dresses like black coat and white panjabi. Many of us recognized them and their heinous activities are also known, but nobody talked about those because of fear, Geleman perceived that as a sin.

I also perceived her emotional feelings, but we, the mass people always strive to compromise in our life. Life struggle pushes us to the hell day by day. We, gradually, become accustomed to indulge both the virtues and misdeeds inside us.

Geleman’s health was not good for some days. I suggested her to take rest for some days reducing studying. But in vain, her eyes were evident about remained unslept. Her eye lids turned pale like the dried rose, the spring couldn’t even explore her heart, how over all the last 34 spring of her life were so lively and joyful, She told that to me.

Suddenly one evening to I reached at Gleman’s residence, previously I also went there, I got special care and attention there due to Geleman. Beside her freedom fighter father has a vast heart who loves the life deliberately. The man was modern minded but pious, over all a man of choice. He sat at the drawing room and asked me to sit also. I followed his advice to take seat and he ordered for refreshment. We took food and talked slowly, suddenly Geleman rushed at the spot, I had been expecting her.

Geleman seemed to be the heroine of Games of Thorns, both of them were

 

the Paragon of beauty, no one is lesser than the other-at my sight, I was looking at Geleman being astonished. She might feel embarrassed at my looking in front of her father. But it was not an exaggeration, This is the virtue of love that eases a number of offenses.

Though Mansur Ahmed was ignorant about our deep love, but he could sense a bit . It was the outcome of experience. Human being, as good as, grows up also acquires invaluable experience, that feeling was like the same.

Mr. Mansur was taking coffee and all on a sudden he asked,

-Hello Rumi you wrote “Looking back Bangladesh; after 44 years of its independence” –what have you derived? After all you were born after the independence, who will you get to looking back You didn’t get scopes as we did, you just wrote aimlessly. Is it right?

I became ashamed and Mr. Mansur could sense my position easily. He laughed loudly to make me easy and told, no problem, I just talked usually, you, the young generation, have been contemplating over those issues, it is not a minor issue, I am glad.

But there is nothing to be glad - Geleman added, She kept silence suddenly. He wrote another book “Our struggle for independence is in theoretical analysis” Could we know what he got after analyzing. I really recognized him a serious person, might be I was wrong, to err is human.

Discuss stopped at a time, I thought I had been weakened to Geleman gradually without any meaningful causes. I was vulnerable to her sharpened attack as same as the calf before the tiger, sometimes the issue turned serious, but I thought nothing to be worried about. Sometimes Geleman turns to be mysterious, it is nothing new. There are lots of evidences in the history about the complicate traits of the beautiful women around the world. It is even possible to touch the moon in the sky by hands, but it is really difficult to unleash the mystery of a woman, even for Ayan Fleming.

The spring is almost at the end losing all its charming, hot wave also exists, Geleman also became abnormal gradually without any cause. The pleasure pastime, ended at one stage and we moved separately and went to bed.

The fairy priness appeared at one stage in a magnificent environment of flower garden, blowing stream, the flying butterfly, suddenly I woke up as Geleman splashed some water on the eye- how long do you like to sleep?

-Health is not going well, besides you know that often I go to bed just after saying Fazr prayer.

-Yes, I know, but you have to stop sleeping if I come, I have a talk to you?

-Tell, I was still sleeping

-Have you thought anything?

-What to think? What are you talking about?

-About me?

-About you? What to think?

-Why, is there nothing to think about?

-Is it so?

Both of as laughed for a while and changed the issue usually, went out after having refreshment and roamed aimlessly.

-Yes, Rumi, you wrote “Bangladesh towards which destination? “ Do you think Bangladesh is moving in the right tract?

-Yes, I do.

-Any problem?

-Which is problem free?

-Alright, but I think, we have “the miles to go before….sleep”

-Yes, right, indeed, time will keep everything in place.

-Can time make everything proper, unless we concentrate?

-You are right, we have a lot of things to do accordingly.

-Might be……, but where is the time, all of us are selfish; we have forgot that we sacrificed a lot in the months war.

-Right, it is not same to win a war and to shape up a nation. We, however, have amalgamated both the issues, to keep in mind, those nations have been leading the globe today that we can’t. It was the mistake.

-Exactly right you are.

It’s a hot day, however Geleman does’nt worry about. All the seasons- the winter, the summer are same to the affluent, well off people, who own residence, vehicle and other luxurious arrangements. They seldom notice the change of season. Currently I spend most time there, so I am delighted, rich food and refreshment, everything is within the reach of hands, Geleman’s charming looking- all of those have made life more enjoyable at a certain point. Geleman never focuses on her personal matters, I don’t dare to know that we have been captive gradually in an invisible illusion, and we didn’t dare to come out from the circle.

Geleman holds a self- composed book in hand titled, “Past and present of the politics of Bangla”.

-I asked first, what about this book?

-Number of objections, it is incomplete and full of applauds for Awami League, was there none in the country who ruled the soil? Have you scared them?

-No ? time was crucial

-So you focused on the love episodes, hiding the black days?

-Life of a banker, busy life to lead, time is limited indeed.

-It’s not an excuse, you have to do this beyond your expectations, you didn’t shorten life.

-Exactly, family burden was also a load.

-You could make money if desired and find out the truth, but you didn’t dare, not even now?

-What?

-You can’t tell what you exactly expect.

-I have nothing to say

You are a liar, you love me, I know.

-Everything can’t be said, there is no such norms.

-But you have recognized one thing. You wrote a book “Independence couldn’t be achieved over night”. Actually we couldn’t achieve independence easily. It took 235 days to restore after we had lost for the last time. There are lot of issues and factors. But you didn’t write correctly “Bangladesh: achieved in exchange of blood.” We couldn’t achieve it only at the cost of blood, there were pains and sufferings and mind it, pains are more shocking than the blood.