The Gelato Catalyst: From Triggered to Transformed

What does gelato, my leap and my mentor have in common? Quite a lot. Read or watch to find out why I will never see gelato the same. :)

"The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it."

- Henry David Thoreau

My Big Leap with my Mentor

The backstory

Although my leap with my mentor, Tiffany Carole was years in the making ( I knew of her for over a decade) my initial reaction to her was not as you may have guessed. It started around 2020 when I enrolled in one of her workshops. My honest reaction to her in this format was not what you would expect: she triggered me-deeply. I felt jealousy followed by judgment and a whole other swirl of emotions, yet the content of the workshop was profound.

There was something so unique about her and the way she carried and expressed herself that was unlike any teacher I had ever studied with. Many of my previous teachers were wise and confident but there was a modesty and reservation within their energy and Tiffany was quite the opposite. She was bold and sensual and her confidence is how she allowed her energy to move through her was indescribable. I immediately wanted to reject it as self centered and egotistical but yet that was not it, I simply had no words for it. Something kept me curious even in my resistance to her.

She spoke about a retreat in Sardinia and I immediately felt a strong desire to go, so I set up a discovery call with her. She showed up on the call eating gelato and her essence felt like a giddy little girl high on life. Once again I was triggered to my core with her bold expressions and joy and severe judgment surfaced. How unprofessional! She told me the price of the trip and it was beyond logic and I was angry and decided she was crazy and wrote her off. I felt validated in my disruption that certainly I had saved myself from being tricked by this imposter of a teacher. End of story?

Fast forward until 2023, and Tiffany’s newsletters start reaching me again and damn it every one didn’t speak right to the core truth of what was happening for me. Her words stirred me and it was as if someone got me and understood the very thing I was grappling with at soul level yet felt shame to admit it. She spoke of wanting more financial abundance for less work and effort. “Hell yes!” said my soul. But how? I had to figure out where she was going with this so I set up another call.

This time was similar but there was a change…in me. She offered me individual mentorship at an outrageous rate for me-I always call it a “small fortune”. I felt the same triggering and disbelief but something different surfaced amidst the strong mental protesting. The strongest desire I had ever allowed myself to feel into-the desire to give to and of myself more than I had ever done in my whole 45 years.? I knew I wanted this opportunity and I knew that I wanted this with her.? All the emotional turmoil had exposed the truth. That she was living from a paradigm that I wanted so badly. I wanted to live as free as she did.

She was mirroring my vision of my future self.? I would never have dreamed this had she not mirrored it for me. She invited me to open to my desire and to embrace it rather than push it down and talk myself out of it as I had done my whole life. She saw me differently and in this moment I was able to see myself differently and I decided to do something radically different. Leap with her into the new space…

I was scared, exhilarated, and had no a clue how it would work, if it would work but I wanted to go all in and find out. I felt in in my bones.

My Yes

Often when I have made bigger commitments, for example putting a down payment on my house, moving across the country, quitting my job without another one lined up, I immediately had “buyer’s remorse” where I would question myself endlessly and the fears of “what if”? would flood my thinking. What was strange about this “yes” was that of course I had the mental backtalk but the dominant emotion I felt was elation, excitement and a deeper knowing that life would never be the same and that was exactly what needed to happen.

That it was ok that I didn’t know because I actually didn’t want to know because if I did that most likely it would be an iteration of the same life I had been living just a little better. Nothing wrong with that but my experiences thus far was that I would work hard and receive more and life would get better, then it would blow up and I would work hard and recreate it a little better and then repeat. Yes I kept “improving” but it felt like it always came at a sacrifice. Either my time, or money or that I had to lose a part of myself that this next creation did not value-Something told me it could be different, that all of me might come with me this time and that I was about to figure out how to do it minus all the “hard work” and sacrifice that was all to common for me.

This yes felt different because it came from a truth that I rarely touched. It came from a place of such depth that it actually steadied me rather than disorganized me. This was profound in itself and it immediately caused a shift within me that allowed a new sense of Self to emerge, one that I had not met. Not the false confidence that appeared strong but was built on heavy adaptation with others and self-distancing to my own needs and wants. This new confidence was one in which I felt free and witnessed by myself and in this process felt so inspired and energized in a much more rooted way. Like I was finally letting the real me out to play and she had power, strength and depth in a totally new way.

The Journey

It is honestly hard to recall how the journey began after my initial activation into it. I think that is honestly due to the fact that I am so different from the woman that said yes that it feels like it was a lifetime ago or another person’s life ago. This is truly the impact of this journey.?

Did I learn a new savvy business plan? Mind hacks? Manifesting techniques? Spiritual ways to run my business. That is what I thought I might glean. Not to diminish the very tactical things that Tiffany taught me because there were endless practices and tools that she shared that have now become part of me, but the gifts of this journey were so much more than this. This was not simply a mental upleveling but rather a total person rebirthing.?

The treasures

If I had to distill the biggest gift it was the opportunity to trust and surrender into myself so fully and radically that I could never go back. When you take small leaps, you gain trust but if the leaps was “possible” then you can still justify them as you were just advancing to your next level or that you did it on your own. This is in tune with my previous experience of continuing to grow but never really changing at the base and in turn working my ass off for it.

The huge leap of faith that I had to take to say yes had nothing to do with the cost of the container and everything to do with the value of my worth. Whether she charged $30,000 or $3,000,000, it was not about how much her services were worth but what I thought I was worth. Deciding that a price would not stop me from what I wanted and who I knew I was to be and how I was to live, affirmed something within me that had never been acknowledged. It was that I had immense value and that as much as I have spent on material things in my life: clothes, cars, homes, anything.. I deserved the same commitment, dedication and value.

I backed myself up for once in a huge way and knew that the universe would follow my lead.? Something happens when you do this that changes your whole operating system. It summons a great force of alignment and support that cannot be done alone by the small self. It was true faith and it was centered around my invaluable nature, my large Self. For me this is the definition of self-worth. A sense of value that has complete faith in itself as an individual and its connection to all that is.. like the analogy “we are stardust”.

I will never go back to the person before I lept that made decisions strictly on logic and in defiance to who I am and what I truly want. I will not believe what is possible based on extrapolations of my past but rather by the desires of my present. This gift I will treasure forever and it is my life's work to share this gift in my work going forward.?

Another treasure was being supported in such a profound way. She taught me what I call “exponential receiving”. From having messaging access to her so that I always felt as if she were walking beside me, to retreating with her in Sardinia in the highest luxury and deliciousness, to having a person 100% committed to my evolution and growth. She did not come to where I was and help me up the mountain but she stood firm in where she was inviting me to join her in the place she knew I could get to myself while providing clear mirroring and attunement that allowed me to draw from my internal resources not hers. This is a profound difference from what I had received from other healers, therapists and coaches. I loved how she met me when I would fall, she didn’t try to make it not hurt, she actually allowed me to see the beauty in the situation and to see my resilience and truth in all possibilities. She helped me experience that all of life is my practice, my journey and to welcome it all in complete trust in myself. I actually learned to care and love? myself during our time in such a deep way.

Before I accepted help that I needed. Now, I know how to summon support that I want be it from myself or others and it isn’t from a needy place but from a creator’s commissioning. Did I need to be coached and mentored in this exorbitant way, not at all, but that is the question from lacking, unworthy self? Did I want this to be my experience and did it delight me to no end? Hell yes! So many days I would be filled with such deep gratitude in my allowance of this sweet gift that it literally filled me to the brim. It was healing the small self in me that didn’t think I was worthy to receive so much goodness and in such an abundant way and it was life changing.

Tiffany is a master of so many aspects of life that it never ceased to amaze me. Her genius was all shared and transmitted in unique and life altering ways. I feel that is the gift of a true teacher, all of their journey, experiences and wisdom colors the transmission and allows you to integrate it without having to go study all those same things yourself. You get to just receive in the nectar along your path together until you cease to remember that it wasn’t always with you. I feel that I gleaned the toolset for a lifetime that will not be outdated or redundant because they are so perfectly attuned to me and my own unique processes.

Tiffany taught me true intimacy. Working with someone in this type of container allows for this because it isn’t a stop and start relationship but an unbroken stream of connection where I was allowed to experience intimacy in such a sweet way that I have always yearned for in my life. She shared her life skillfully in ways that made her human yet allowed me to witness how she chose to engage with her experiences so that I could engage with mine with less outer strength and more inner resourcing. It wasn’t a one way street of me pouring out my heart but a sharing of hearts and life in a healthy way that felt free and clear of the routine boundary violations I have experienced throughout my life. Closeness without enmeshment. Respect and honor without elevating someone above you. She held my hand through the roller coaster ride of my darkest nights and my brightest days, always staying steady, accepting and present. No one in my life has done that and I hope that everyone in my life going forward can feel how precious it is to connect in this manner.?

In deep reverence

?“The price as portal” access that I paid to this dear woman for our coaching container was not even close to the value of the gifts that I received and will continue to receive for the rest of my life. This experience alone yielded the keys to my freedom and the launch pad to my exponential self, a self I never knew existed until I said yes. I know all that I see and have cherished within her beauty is present within myself because that is the truth and nature of life “what you see in others is a reflection of you”.? I owe such deep reverence to Tiffany Carole for allowing me to see a reflection of myself that I am now ready to honor and live a life fully committed to. So, Tiffany I bow in honor of the light in you that allowed me to see and know the light in me. You are a true guru, a remover of darkness and I bow to you.

~ Jill