Gather your clan...

If you're wondering where I've been over the last few weeks, the answer is "very sick". I'm still not sure exactly what was wrong - some perfect storm of my partner having a sciatica flare at the same time that I had a cold/flu/covid bug, all at the tail end of an autoimmune flare - but needless to say, it wasn't pretty.

There was a moment last week where I said "I give up!" I had reached the end of my energy, both physical and emotional, and I was done. All I wanted to do was lay in bed and (as the young people say) rot.

Looking back now, I can see the melodrama, but at the time I was done. Cooked. I had given all I had to give and there was still something being demanded of me if I wanted us both to make it through the day.

Sound familiar?

Changemaking can be a lonely road

I'm struck by the fact that many of us feel the weight of the world on our shoulders when we are working in grassroots fields to change people's lives. Whether you're a solo person with a mission or part of a team working towards a common goal, it can feel lonely. We worry about burdening the people around us with our woes and worries, becoming the "downer" in the conversation and sucking other people into our misery. We bottle things up. It all gets a little too "conceal, don't feel" if we're not careful!

But if Frozen taught me anything (other than that my name just begs to have Princess in front of it) its that concealing what burdens us eventually can plunge the whole office... I mean kingdom... into freak weather patterns and general turmoil. No one wants ice castles and snow monsters to suddenly appear, no matter how catchy the soundtrack might become!

Humans aren’t meant to be solitary workers. From an evolutionary standpoint, we developed to depend on our “tribes” - other people with which we feel kinship and share common goals. Up until recently, we relied on our neighbours and extended families to make the unit run as a whole. The idea that we need to "have it all", and by extension DO it all, is actually a relatively recent one. As a social experiment, you could say that it's not going great...

Who makes up your changemaking clan?

I got through the last week with the help of my people. I had my lovely assistant team in the background keeping the business functioning and making my new launch roll out with no input from me. I had friends on the end of the phone for a pep talk or two. I had someone making sure I ate and drank and took painkillers through remote check-ins. I even had an offer to fill my freezer with easy to reheat meals so I didn't have to worry about what I'd eat.

Any thriving group - whether it's a team or a family - needs more than one type of person to make it work.

Yes, you need someone setting the vision, but you also need companions in the trenches, inspirations to help you imagine something even greater, mentors to give quality advice, and supporters who smooth the way with skills, time, and resources (or funds!). Is your team as full as it could be, or do you need some new recruits?

AND let's get honest with ourselves here...

We all have some sneaky beliefs about the impact of our own labour vs the labour of others and they get in the way of relying on our network. You might sneakily believe that it's easier to do something yourself than it is to delegate... That only you can meet the standards you set (and impossible perfection is where it’s at!) That you’re imposing on others or a burden if you ask for help... That only you find it difficult and everyone else is sailing through the challenges easily... That your value lies in your productivity and if you’re not working hard, you’re not good enough...

You need your clan to help you carry on when times are hard AND thrive when you're blossoming, and sometimes that means learning how to get out of your own way and actively create the right network for your mission.

So what's stopping you?

AND how much easier would life feel if you could dissolve that barrier?

Full disclosure - this is one of the lessons from Audacious Legacy, my signature 10 week group programme that is recruiting NOW. Want to know more, drop the word "CLAN" in the comments!