Gaslighting at workplace: Measures to deal with it.

Gaslighting refers to the term when someone intentionally tries to make you feel that what you are saying or feeling is untrue. It is basically psychological manipulation of other human being. It is not forcing someone to believe in you, rather bringing them to agree themselves in what you are saying. Andrew D. Spear, associate professor of philosophy at Grand Valley State University, Michigan says,“The most distinctive feature of gaslighting is that it’s not enough for the gaslighter simply to control his victim or have things go his way: It’s essential to him that the victim herself actually come to agree with him,”.

Gaslighting at work occurs when someone, usually a colleague or manager, challenges what you already believe to be true, leading you to doubt the truth—and ultimately your own ability to do your job. In other words, they intentionally or unintentionally manipulate information, words, and behavior to confuse you, minimize your feelings, and prevent you from succeeding.

Note that gaslighting is usually not a type of bullying or malicious behavior when someone is trying to hurt someone. When it comes to gas lighting in a professional environment, there are small details to consider. As an example, imagine you have a boss who sets expectations for a project and then informs you that the standards he uses to judge your work have changed after you meet them. It could even be someone who keeps forgetting to invite you to all-hands meetings, an unintentional oversight that keeps you in the dark about what was discussed.

Gaslighting at work is hard to detect until it's too late (ie you're left frustrated, unhappy, and unsatisfied with the actual task) because it follows a pattern of repeated offenses that accumulate over time.

Examples of Gaslighting at work by a boss or colleague-

-When other co-workers make the same offensive remarks, the gaslighter will first make a racist or sexist remark before condemning it.

-An arsonist claims to do something when in reality it does nothing of the sort.

-The gaslighter claims they never received the presentation you undoubtedly submitted on time.

-When you bring up a topic that is important to you, the gaslighter becomes defensive, challenges your opinion, and becomes aggressive.

-The lighter repeatedly asks you for information, but you eventually realize that they're only listening to some of what you're saying.

Common GasLighter Phrases -

● "I don't know what you're saying."

● "I never said that."

● "That never happened."

● "You're crazy."

● "You're imagining everything wrong."

● "You are too sensitive."

The type of environment most vulnerable to gas lighting -

It is likely to prevail in situations that are fiercely competitive, if not downright brutal, such as legal companies or financial institutions.According to research, minorities, women, and members of the LGBTQ+ community are more likely to experience the catastrophic effects of gaslighting because it is often a power game and can be based on societal and hierarchical imbalances. Minorities are likely to be affected because they often have less influence, Malkin argues.

Is this a form of workplace harassment?

You should file a harassment complaint if you experience gaslighting at work because of a protected class, such as your race, gender, or sexual orientation.

Therefore, although nuisance policies do not directly mention gaslighting, state and federal laws provide protections against toxic environments based on a number of protected characteristics. You should be able to review your organization's internal policies that describe how harassment complaints are handled.

How to deal with Gaslighting at work-

1. Avoid gas lighter as much as possible-

Total avoidance isn't always possible, like when your boss fires you. Avoid spending time alone with a gas lighter because any retelling that follows will just be your word against theirs

2. Bring it up to HR or management-

The ideal people to deal with a lighter are HR and your management . Bring the evidence you have collected and allow them to act as an intermediary between you and your gas lighter to guarantee that the matter is resolved.

3. Document everything-

Email is the best method to use when interviewing a gas lighter because you want written proof. That way, you'll have tangible evidence to back up your memory of their comments when they certainly doubt it.

4. Protect your mental health-

Because gaslighting is psychological warfare, it can damage your mental health by eroding your sense of self-worth and self-esteem. Taking a break from the gaslighting fairy tale is essential to refresh yourself and keep your mental acuity.

5. Ask someone else for feedback-

In this situation, the key is to find someone you can trust who is not on the side of the gaslighter. This can be challenging, especially if your workplace is toxic as a whole. Does the gasman claim that you have not been left out of important meetings? If you were not included in the email invitations, ask someone who attended these meetings.

6. Educate yourself in Gaslighting-

It's hard to avoid taking those blows personally. Be aware that the problem lies with the gas lighters. They are trying to control you, usually in an attempt to take back control of their lives or improve their low self-esteem.

7. Consciously affirm yourself-

Always end your posts with a personal statement such as "I appreciate you", "I deserve love" . After the gaslighting experience, it will help you rebuild your self-worth, even if you have to fake it at first.

Conclusion

Gaslighting at work can be difficult to deal with. Your mental health and mental fitness can suffer significantly, and in some cases it can even be difficult to tell if the behavior is flowing. You might not like your job because of gaslighters.Once you've dealt with the gaslighter, it's a good idea to look for other measures to improve your workplace and employee well-being.