Gaslighting & ADHD: The Silent Confidence Killer

If you’ve ever been gaslit at work, you know exactly how it feels, it’s like reality slips out from under you. You walk into a conversation sure about something, but by the end, you’re questioning your memory, your emotions, and your entire damn self.

As ADHDers, we can be especially vulnerable to this kind of manipulation. Why? Because we’ve often been told our whole lives that we’re “too sensitive,” “too much,” or that we “misunderstand” things.

Sound familiar?

I’ve been there, in meetings where someone straight-up denied my experience and left me wondering if I’d imagined it all. And because ADHD can already make us doubt ourselves, gaslighting sinks its claws in fast, until you’re left wondering, “Am I just being dramatic?”

Let’s break it down: There are 2 main tactics a gaslighter uses:

1?? Denial of your reality: They flat-out deny something you know happened—like taking credit for your work—and when you call them out, they keep denyiny.

2?? Turning it around on you: Suddenly, you’re the problem. You’re “overreacting,” or “being too sensitive,” and before you know it, the focus is on your behaviour, not theirs.

And when you already struggle with rejection sensitivity and self-doubt (hello, ADHD), it can leave you spinning.

So, what can we do when we feel that creeping self-doubt?

?? 1. Trust Your Lived Experience Trying to argue with someone gaslighting you is like chasing your tail, you just keeps going in circles. Instead of getting caught up in their narrative, take a step back and trust your gut. Your reality is valid, and you don’t need their approval to believe in yourself.

?? 2. Control Your Reaction ADHD emotions can hit like a freight train, and gaslighters love that. They thrive on turning up the heat and watching you squirm. But here’s the trick, stay calm, stay grounded, and don’t feed into their drama. Use phrases like: “I’m not here to argue. We remember things differently, and that’s ok.” “This isn’t about being sensitive; it’s about addressing what happened.”

?? 3. Set Your Boundaries.... And Walk When the manipulation ramps up, remove yourself. Walk away, document what happened, and reach out to someone who supports you. You don’t owe anyone your energy, especially someone who twists it. Boundaries are a game-changer, especially for us ADHDers who often feel like we need to people please.

You’ve got the power to protect your space, your mind, and your self-worth. It’s not easy—but it’s part of reclaiming your voice.

Have you ever experienced gaslighting at work? How did you handle it? Let’s share below and remind each other that we’re not alone ????

#ADHD #ADHDer #AuDHDer #gaslighting