The Gap and the Gain

The Gap and the Gain: What Climbing Kilimanjaro Taught Me About Progress and Success

As an avid reader and a high-achiever, I’m always looking for books that challenge my thinking and offer practical insights for personal and professional growth. One such book that recently resonated deeply with me is The Gap and the Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy. While the book is a powerful guide to reframing how we measure success, my personal experience climbing Mount Kilimanjaro brought its lessons vividly to life in a way no other experience could.

The High-Achiever’s Trap: Measuring the Gap

If you’re anything like me, you may have spent years chasing milestones, measuring your success against ideal outcomes that seem forever just out of reach. Sullivan and Hardy call this mindset “the Gap.” It’s the mental trap of focusing on what’s missing, how far you still have to go, or the distance between your current reality and your lofty goals. While striving for excellence is admirable, living in the Gap can lead to chronic dissatisfaction and burnout.

This was me for years—always moving the goalposts, delaying joy, and measuring my self-worth against what I had not yet achieved.

A Mountain, A Mindset Shift

In 2013, my brother, two friends, and I set out to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. As Africa’s highest peak, it was a challenge that tested my physical endurance and mental resilience. The climb was gruelling. Altitude sickness drained my energy, caused me blindness in my right eye, and every step became an act of willpower. I vividly remember a point on the mountain when my body wanted to quit, and my mind had to take over. My lungs burned, my legs felt like lead, and the summit seemed impossibly far away.

In that moment of despair, I consciously decided to stop measuring how much further I had to go. Instead, I shifted my focus to a made-up “40-step rule.” I told myself: Take 40 steps, then stop and look back. With each pause, I celebrated how far I’d climbed, appreciating the ground I had covered rather than fixating on the summit still out of reach.

That small but significant mental shift changed everything. By measuring the gain—the progress I’d made—I found renewed energy and motivation. Step by step, gain by gain, I made it to the summit.

The Power of the Gain

What I learned on that mountain is precisely what The Gap and the Gain teaches: True success and happiness come from measuring your progress, not your deficiencies. When we focus on the gain—what we’ve achieved, learned, or overcome—we build confidence, gratitude, and momentum. It’s a mindset that transforms how we view challenges, setbacks, and growth.

This principle isn’t just relevant to physical feats like mountain climbing; it’s deeply applicable to leadership, career growth, and life in general. In the corporate world, for instance, it’s easy to get caught up in ambitious targets, quarterly KPIs, or the next promotion. But when we pause to reflect on our gains—the skills we’ve developed, the relationships we’ve nurtured, the challenges we’ve overcome—we unlock a sense of fulfilment that fuels sustainable growth.

Practical Ways to Embrace the Gain

Here are a few strategies I’ve adopted to stay in the Gain mindset, both personally and professionally:

1. Reflect regularly: Write down three things you achieved or learned at the end of each day or week. Even small wins count.
2. Celebrate milestones: Don’t wait for the “big” success to celebrate. Acknowledge incremental progress as part of the journey.
3. Reframe challenges: Instead of viewing setbacks as failures, consider them opportunities to measure how far you’ve come since facing a similar challenge.
4. Practice gratitude: Gratitude is a powerful antidote to the Gap mindset. By appreciating what you have and how far you’ve come, you shift focus from lack to abundance.
5. Look back intentionally:?Just like I did on Kilimanjaro, make it a habit to pause and reflect on the distance you’ve travelled periodically—whether in your career, personal growth, or a specific project.

A Final Thought

Climbing Kilimanjaro taught me that success isn’t about reaching the summit—it’s about the journey, the lessons learned, and the progress made along the way. The Gap and the Gain reinforced this truth and gave me a framework to apply it in all areas of my life. Whether you’re leading a team, pursuing personal goals, or simply navigating the complexities of life, I encourage you to step out of the Gap and into the Gain.

Remember, the summit is just the destination. The real triumph lies in every step that gets you closer.

What gains have you celebrated recently? Please share your thoughts in the comments or message me to continue the conversation. Let’s celebrate progress together!

#Leadership #MindsetShift #PersonalGrowth #Success #TheGapAndTheGain