Gandalf's Guide to Anxiety and Growth

In the movie, "The lord of the rings", there is a scene where an anxious Frodo says, "I wish the ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened." Gandalf responds, "So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."?

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us

There is a lot to take away from the scene in how we live our lives. Firstly, there are so many things outside of our control. Worrying about those things just adds to our stress and does nothing to help us. Secondly, the world in general and modern corporations in particular are such hugely complex places that we can not even comprehend even a tiny portion of them. So, instead of focusing on the external things, it might make sense to look inward. "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." Have we spent our time in a way that we think is reasonable? Have we done our little bit? As long as we are satisfied with it, there is nothing else we can do. And remember, there will be ups and downs across days/weeks so "doing our bit" has to be over a longer time horizon rather than one day. Just do that and you are good.?

There is a second component to "deciding what to do with the time that is given to us". Thinking about whether you could have done better. We need to frequently introspect and see if we could have done something better. When I talk about "something", I am talking about really really small things. Could that chat message have been worded better? Could that meeting have been run differently? Could that code be more optimised? etc. I call these micro actions and for them, we introspect and seek micro improvements. This introspection can happen as frequently as possible and could even happen many times a day. You will see this amongst all the top performers in the world. For example, if a tennis player misses a shot, you immediately see this introspection on their faces and sometimes they even re-practice the shot. Imagine them doing this when they are literally hitting the ball hundreds/thousands of times a day. You can also listen to interviews. The best players always stay in the moment and focus on the immediate shot or point and not on the match or tournament. Play enough shots at a high quality, you will eventually win the match and the tournament (and definitely get better).

Every time you introspect and come up with a micro improvement, you get slightly better. You get better at "deciding what to do". This is a self-reinforcing loop that makes you better every day without the need for a manager and potentially without the need for external feedback (you are actually giving yourself feedback).?

This micro improvement concept is the exact opposite of looking for a promotion or a good appraisal. There are a few problems with promotions/appraisals. Firstly, these are things that happen once a year or maximum twice a year. Any learning from them is limited to twice a year. Why do that when you can do it several times a day? Secondly, promotion/appraisals are output metrics. They are an external measure of our improvements. The goal for us has to be to improve the reality and not to improve the measurement. If we make progress in the right direction, the output metrics will take care of themselves.?

So, in summary, (a) focus on making the best choices with your limited scope and time and (b) introspect and improve constantly through micro improvements. And this is my secret to low anxiety and high growth!

PS: People have told me that the concept of "micro improvements" is similar to what is explained in the book "Atomic Habits". I haven't read the book so I don't know how close the concepts are. My concept is my own thinking :-)