GAMUT sat down with Nia Renee, Founder of How To Love a Battered Woman, an initiative dedicated to supporting survivors of abuse.

GAMUT sat down with Nia Renee, Founder of How To Love a Battered Woman, an initiative dedicated to supporting survivors of abuse through education, empowerment, and advocacy in honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month (October). Nia Renee shares her intersectionality of being a survivor, a fierce? advocate, and unstoppable disabled warrior.??

Her mission is clear: to inspire others, no matter their abilities, limitations, history, or trauma, to reclaim their power and step into their purpose. Nia Renee champions the belief that there is life after abuse and life during chronic illness, guiding countless individuals to transform their pain into power with compassion, expertise, and unwavering determination.

Background and Experiences?

Can you share a bit about your background and how your disability has influenced your? experiences??

I grew up in a toxic, chaotic, and abusive household, where my childhood was deeply impacted by emotional, physical, & psychological abuse. Throughout my childhood, I was often punished for being “too clumsy,” falling frequently, and being prone to injury, without anyone caring to take a deeper look into why these things were happening. It wasn’t until later in life that I discovered I had several brain disorders, which were the underlying cause? of these issues—something I had no control over.?

As I moved into adulthood, I unknowingly found myself in a series of abusive relationships, each leaving a deeper emotional scar. It wasn’t until I left my narcissistically abusive ex that I began to realize the long-term effects of the trauma I had experienced. During that time, I was diagnosed with three rare brain disorders, and I have since undergone six brain surgeries. My disability has deeply influenced my experiences—not only because of the medical trauma but also because it added layers to my healing process. Navigating life as a disabled woman, while recovering from both emotional and physical trauma, has shaped? who I am today and strengthened my mission to empower others.?

Support and Resources?

What resources or support systems were available to you during your experience? Did you encounter any specific challenges in accessing support services due to your? disability? There weren’t many clear resources available to me in the beginning, especially since I? didn’t even realize I was in an abusive relationship. However, once I began to understand? what I was going through, I leaned heavily on therapy, support groups for survivors of? abuse, and my own close-knit community. One of the most impactful resources was? therapy, particularly EMDR, which helped me process the trauma I experienced as both a? survivor of domestic violence and medical trauma.?

Did you encounter any specific challenges in accessing support services due to your? disability? Yes, I encountered significant challenges in accessing support services due to my? disability, primarily because of medical gaslighting. My symptoms—frequent falls, clumsiness, and chronic pain—were often dismissed because they weren’t visible on the? surface. My bloodwork was normal, and because of that, doctors frequently downplayed my experiences or attributed my physical symptoms to mental health issues. It was an? exhausting cycle of not being taken seriously, with medical professionals suggesting it was? all “in my head,” while I was suffering from undiagnosed brain disorders.?

To make matters worse, I was in an abusive relationship during this time. My ex was more concerned with what I could no longer do for him, completely disregarding the pain and fatigue I was experiencing. His lack of empathy compounded the trauma, as I struggled not only to be heard by doctors but also to receive any kind of support from my partner. This dismissal from both medical professionals and someone I trusted delayed my treatment and added to the emotional strain of navigating my disability.?

What kind of support do you wish you had received during your journey?? I wish I had access to resources that addressed the intersection of domestic violence and disability. More inclusive support systems are needed that understand the unique emotional, physical, and mental toll that surviving both abuse and medical trauma takes. A space where survivors with disabilities could connect with others who share their experiences would have been invaluable.?

Coping and Recovery?

What strategies did you find helpful in coping with the trauma of domestic violence? Journaling became one of the most essential tools in my recovery. Writing about my? experiences helped me process the emotions I was dealing with and gave me clarity in understanding the patterns of abuse I had normalized. Therapy, particularly talk therapy and EMDR, was also life changing. I took a six-month sex cleanse to focus entirely on? healing and rediscovering my identity outside of my relationships, which allowed me to break the cycle of seeking validation from others. Practicing mindfulness and self compassion helped me rebuild my self-confidence.?

How has your experience shaped your view of resilience and strength? Resilience, for me, is about learning to trust yourself again after everything has been stripped away. Surviving domestic violence and medical trauma taught me that strength? isn’t just about pushing through—it’s about allowing yourself to heal at your own pace. My strength came from not just surviving the abuse but from the willingness to rebuild my life? piece by piece. Resilience means embracing both the setbacks and the victories in your? healing journey.?

However, I don’t like being called resilient or referred to as strong. While I am both, those words can feel like a form of invalidation for what I went through. Yes, I am strong and resilient, but I shouldn’t have had to be in order to survive the abuse I endured in my childhood or my relationships. The trauma I experienced changed the entire landscape of my life before I even had a chance to build anything. It’s not something that should be celebrated, but rather understood as a response to situations that no one should have to face.?

What role did your disability play in your healing process? My disability added another layer to my healing. Surviving six brain surgeries while recovering from narcissistic abuse meant that I had to heal physically, emotionally, and? mentally all at once. My body’s limitations forced me to slow down, and that became a part? of the healing process itself. Learning to listen to my body and respect its needs was? crucial in rebuilding my confidence and sense of self. My disability has become a part of?

my story, and it also defines me—it has empowered me to advocate for others who may? feel unseen or unheard.?

Even today, navigating and healing from PTSD is a tough journey, especially as I’ve learned how it has affected my sleep. While I’ve realized that my disability does define me in certain? ways—because I need to be treated with a specific level of care and understanding—it? doesn’t mean I should be excluded or looked at differently. It simply means I need a little? more thought and consideration in everything I do, both for myself and in how I engage with? others. My disability informs my journey, but it doesn’t limit the value I bring or the life I am? building.?

Advocacy and Awareness?

What message would you like to share with others who may be in similar situations? You are not alone, it may feel like you are, but you’re not. Healing is possible, but it’s not linear, it is a journey—and that’s okay. Make smaller moves, and remember that moving forward is progress, no matter how it looks for you. Your worth is not diminished by the? abuse you’ve endured, by any physical scars, or by any changes in your body. You deserve a? life filled with love, respect, and safety, regardless of what you’ve been through or how your body may have changed.?

How can communities better support disabled individuals who are survivors of? domestic violence? Communities can better support disabled survivors by providing resources that address? the intersection of disability and domestic violence. Support services need to be more? inclusive, taking into account the physical limitations that many disabled survivors face.? Accessible shelters, comprehensive care that includes medical trauma, and spaces where? survivors with disabilities can connect and share their experiences are crucial. Advocacy should focus on making sure no one is left behind because of their disability. One of the most sought out communities by abusers are those that they can easily take advantage of. And oftentimes, unfortunately that happens to be someone who suffers from disabilities. And that needs to be discussed a lot more than it is.?

What changes do you think are necessary in society to improve awareness and? resources for disabled survivors? We need to build more awareness around the unique challenges that disabled survivors face. This starts with education—raising awareness about how abuse affects disabled? individuals differently and advocating for policy changes that ensure accessible support services. Society needs to embrace an inclusive approach that recognizes that disabilities? are not one-size-fits-all, and survivors of domestic violence need resources that are? tailored to their unique circumstances.?

Looking Forward?

What are some goals or aspirations you have for the future?

My goal is to continue expanding my work as a certified relationship coach and certified? motivational speaker, helping others heal from abuse and empowering them to live? intentional, fulfilling lives. I’m also passionate about advocating for inclusivity in all? spaces—whether it’s in the fashion industry as a disabled model, or in the way society? treats survivors of trauma. I hope to continue building my community, The Battered Hearts Army, and providing a safe space for survivors to come together, share their stories, and? heal.?

How do you envision a supportive community for survivors of domestic violence,? particularly for those with disabilities??

A truly supportive community for disabled survivors would be one where everyone has? access to the resources they need, without having to fight for accommodations. It would be a space where survivors feel safe, understood, and seen—not just for their trauma, but for? their strength and resilience. I envision a community that is inclusive, where survivors with? disabilities have their voices heard and their needs met in ways that honor their? experiences and empower them to move forward.?

Is there anything else you would like to share that we haven’t covered? Healing from trauma, both emotional and physical, takes time, and it’s important to remember that everyone’s journey is different. There’s no “right way” to heal, and setbacks don’t mean failure. Give yourself grace and know that it’s okay to ask for help along the way. Toxic positivity, where we force ourselves to be so positive that we suppress our real? emotions, can be harmful. It’s important to acknowledge how you truly feel about your? medical situation and give yourself permission to seek help if you need it. One of the biggest and best decisions I made in 2023 was checking into a partial hospitalization program for my mental health, where I could finally address the medical trauma that was? manifesting as panic attacks. I believe in the power of sharing our stories because it? reminds us that we are not alone. The work I do is to help others reclaim their power, and I? want every survivor to know that they have the strength to rise again.

About Nia Renee: At 31, Nia Renee, MBA is a testament to resilience and transformation. A seasoned published model with a decade of experience, she is also a certified relationship coach, motivational speaker, and author. Nia Renee has navigated a life marked by extraordinary challenges, from surviving abuse and childhood trauma to overcoming abusive relationships as an adult. Her medical journey is equally inspiring, having endured six brain surgeries and living with three rare brain disorders—Chiari I Malformation, Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension, and Auditory Processing Disorder—along with over 20 other chronic and invisible illnesses.