Gamesmanship: Are you a Plus 1-er or 1 Upper?

Every. Single. Move counts in a game. It’s the difference between having the upper hand and winning the game.?

But what is happening when you are still playing this game (in your head) when dealing with your work environment driving towards a common goal? The question transforms to, are you playing the game of Plus 1-er or 1 Upper with the person in front of you? Same deal here. One adds towards the situation. The other takes away from it, shifting the dynamic completely.?

?Here’s what 1 Upmanship can look like as it plays out before you:

1. ?Interrupting you repeatedly mid-sentence. Not letting you complete your thoughts by constantly interfering?
2. Responding with a negating comment upfront. “No, that doesn’t make sense.” “That won’t work here for us.”
3. Quick to give you unsolicited advice, undermine your efforts in front of everybody, and blow up a gap treating it like a mistake
4. Possessing a knack to somehow make everything about them. They love to brag or complain the loudest, but it has to be about them
5. Classic emotional hoarders, who refuse to let go or forget a grudge. Doesn’t matter if its real or imaginary in their heads, they will make it a point to bring it up repeatedly.

So how does a recurring behavior of 1 Upmanship play out in a team dynamic?

• You’ve now started incubating passive aggressive behaviors in your team environment?
• The introverts in the room are further prompted (adversely) to stay silent?
• We’ve successfully removed diversity of voices by allowing singularity of the loudest one as the?only one that matters?
• The status quo/ standard / norm is chosen by the 1 Up player(s) by successfully, creating a greater disparity amongst those fistful of players vs the rest?
• Congratulations! We’ve now established a new breed / variant of leadership style where the 1 Upper behavior is tolerated, encouraged & rewarded publicly.

?Sounds vaguely familiar???

Conversely, here’s how the Plus 1-er plays in the same room:

1. ?Listens to your idea fully. Calm demeanor overall. Communicates with non-verbal cues like nodding yes, and leans-in to build on your thoughts
2. When sharing an opposing point of view, will debate offering objective, constructive viewpoints. “Adding to this, we will need to consider this aspect too and here’s why...” Or. “What if we approached it from this angle to account for….”
3. Openly expressive of their intent and motive upfront to bring the team on the same page. “Here’s what I’d like us to do that will help us with...” Or. “I know this is a lot for us, but I’m hopeful if we find a way to fix this we can avert ….”
4. Instead of making boastful sweeping statements by either name dropping or talking about self in a plural like, “We feel, based on my chat with <leader name drop>…” They are more likely to come across like, “From my experience, I believe we can….” Or “My take based on our discussion is that we consider…”
5. Default team players, who are both self-aware and confident in their skill-sets while always staying open-minded to flex their decision or viewpoint based on collective decision. The team dynamic matters more than their ego boost

Surround yourself with more Plus 1-ers and you’re looking at a team environment that looks something like this:

• You’ve now started incubating empathetic, diversely rich mindsets of people who feel safe and comfortable to voice their opinions?
• You’re grooming a team of highly collaborative, empowered minds who are capable of closing out each other’s blind spots
• It becomes easier to take decisions and faster to adopt changes when the collective focus supersedes monopoly of a single selfish thought
• It becomes about the team primarily and not slanted by one loud voice. Birthplace of synergy, mutual respect and most importantly trust
• Congratulations! We’ve now built an environment that’s conducive to inspire a new breed of leaders amongst your team, creating a multiplier effect for high-performing teams.

We have both the Yin and the Yang in us based on circumstances and our emotional bent at that moment in time. However, the deeper revelation is for us to become more self-aware and train our emotional intelligence (EQ).

Recognize, what’s our default go-to mode when walking into such rooms. Show up more intentionally when the focus is to collaborate and ideate together. Do I typically tend to One-Up or Plus-One when I speak?

What brings out the Plus 1-er vs 1 Upper in you?

Would love to hear your perspective on this topic based on your work experiences! Join the discussion via comments below.