Game-changing: Being prepared for and navigating change effectively

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” Socrates

Change happens every day. Things aren’t the same today as they were yesterday. That may be physically - our environment for example may be different. That may be emotionally - our internal state will be different to how it was yesterday.

So with this constant change going on around us, how do we manage change, particularly when it becomes bigger than those everyday things? I’m talking about life changes. Jobs, relationships, health, environment. They’re probably the most challenging changes that we’ll navigate in our lives. Life changes uproot us. They change a major part of us. Our identity. Our physical environment. Our emotional state. 

We’ve all just been through what could be one of the biggest changes we will witness in our lifetimes (well at the moment - who knows what’s to come!). Whilst none of us considered a global pandemic in our top 5 most impactful changes in our life, this has certainly changed things. Some have seen changes for the better (hello wfh and no commute!). For some, changes for the worst (trade diminished, redundancies). 

Sometimes we can control change but change is often forced upon us. We don’t always have a choice in change. 

For many, change conjures up feelings of fear and anxiety. For others, they embrace change and dive head on in. How do you manage with change? And how can you deal with change in a positive way and make it work for you?

5 ways to deal with change in a positive way and make it work for you.

1. Ask yourself whether this change is a choice. What’s prompted this change? We have control over what choices we make. While these changes may still feel stressful, we are often making them to improve or make something better. We choose to move house because we want to live in a bigger/smaller house or live in the city/countryside or for the amazing new job we’ve just landed. When the change wasn’t a choice, it can feel scarier/overwhelming/anxiety-inducing. But in these situations, it’s helpful to remember that you had no control over it. The change isn’t your fault. You can’t control the change that is happening to you but you can control how you deal with it.
2. Write down what the impact of the change you are facing is - both the positives and negatives so you can clearly see all that this change means. You may find that this change has huge positives and actually only one or two negatives so overall is really beneficial and doesn’t feel as bad as you first thought. Really drill down until you can’t think of any more. Write down even the smallest of things.
3. Think about and write down the skills and strengths you have to help you through this change - for example, moving house? Your project management skills, calm nature and ability to organise will support you to go through the process. Been made redundant? Your resilience, ability to network and problem-solving skills will help you move forward and progress in your new job search and help you manage your financial commitments. You’ll be surprised at just how many skills you have to manage change. And if you’ve got the skills, you’re halfway there.
4. Remember a time when you have dealt with the same or a similar change. How did you manage the change then? What lessons did you learn from that time that you could use now? What worked for you that you could use this time?
5. Research and be prepared. Ultimately we can’t always know change is coming but when we become aware of change, we have it in our power to research and prepare ourselves. Some practical examples on what you might do when preparing for change below...

Dealing with redundancy? 

• Research your rights
• Look on the ACAS website to make sure your employer is following a fair procedure
• Seek advice from third parties
• Review your finances and see how it will impact and what you can do to alleviate pressure 
• Speak to your financial providers  
• Have a daily routine and plan once you have finished 
• Practice interviewing with friends and family 
• Research companies you could work for 
• Brush up or learn new skills through online/short courses.

Dealing with a relationship break up? 

Depending on the circumstances;

• Research any legal implications a break up may have (marriage, assets, kids)
• Write a list of things you need to tackle - looking for somewhere new to live for example
• Take time off work to have some time to deal with it if that’s what you need
• Speak to your employer
• Get a support network in place 
• Put non-negotiable self-care self-dates in with yourself in the diary each week
• Be open and honest with friends, family, colleagues 
• If you’re not coping, seek support from friends/family or a therapist.

Dealing with news of an illness? 

• Research (from legitimate sources) the illness. Know what it is 
• Speak to your doctor
• Get clear on treatment plans - know your options
• Think about the impact it will have on your life and what you need to do to accommodate it
• Plan changes that are needed to things like your house, your job, commuting
• Speak to your partner/kids/parents/others that are suffering with the same thing and set up a support network
• Speak to charities that may offer support, community and advice.

Dealing with a house move? 

• Research removal companies
• Have clear dates, budget and responsibilities drawn out and in place 
• Plan and mitigate for any risks that may arise
• Research the area you are moving to so it doesn’t feel as unknown
• Join local community facebook groups to start getting to know neighbours and what’s happening in your new area.

Ultimately change can be an emotional rollercoaster so be kind to yourself. We’re often so hard on ourselves for not having the answers, not being prepared or not managing things in the ‘right’ way. The fact is there’s no right way. Just a right way for you. The above is a starting point but everyone’s situation is unique. Be kind to yourself when things go wrong. Because they might! Take time out for yourself when you need and practice self-care. You’re only human after all. You’re not meant to manage everything perfectly. 

And you know what….sometimes, whilst uncomfortable or even terrifying, change can be the best thing that ever happened to us when we get to the other side.