The Gambler

“Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.”

— Lemony Snicket 

Friday, you beautiful beast, what is going on! How are you been seven days since I’ve seen you; I like the new haircut, that shirt, bedazzled is fitting for this day, my friend.

Yesterday Bay and I headed to my friend Devin’s company for some training. It’s next level prospecting, leveraging his technology, and I must say, Damn, Devin might be a genius. He did get the VID, he had to zoom in, but one of his team members help guide our session; he’s okay; the VID for most is just a blip on the radar.

We had scheduled 5 hours for training; we got it done in two hours; we left and decided to get breakfast.  We hit the Yolk by our house; it was terrific. The waitress assumed Bay was my kid and asked, “when your Dad returns from the restroom, do you think he will want a coffee to go?”  Bay shared this little tidbit, and when the waitress returned, I said, “Um, I think there has been a misunderstanding; Bay is not my daughter, but my girlfriend, and let me tell you my wife is pissed!”  Bay quickly corrected me by saying, “I am not his girlfriend; I work with him!” The waitress apologized, we all laughed; it’s what we do.

We left there headed south; Bay became my UBER for the day; she took me to get my T shot, and then we headed to pick up some things at Costco.  I got her mother flowers; we ran our next appointment at her parent’s home. Jay and Angie work from home; we crashed their office and ran an appointment with our digital marketing firm.  After cleaning up email, we headed back to our casa; I had to let PVHT out. We ran a couple more appointments and then played gin to 500. I kicked her butt, a rare occasion these days.

We headed to meet our friends Kurt and Julia for dinner, enjoyed a nice meal, and came home to hit the bed at a reasonable time. My day in a nutshell, how was yours?   I find it useful to rewind each day and think about the events that make up life.

I’ve got my group therapy meeting today—three hours of power with my brothers and sister. We will hash our lives, see who needs some support; I’m in a beautiful place, maybe I can help someone in need.  PVHT just headed upstairs to make sure the Queen is getting up. She’s still a puppy; energy is at 11, Mom sounds happy, she’s running down the stairs as I type these words.  Have I told you lately I love my Queen?

To my right is a coffee cup given to me by one of my kids. It says DAD, my prominent role in this life.  If you are new here, my life roles are in this order, father, lover, writer, teacher, and then my vocation. I have learned I don’t care what folks do but, more importantly, who they are.  When I meet new people, and they open with their vocation, chances are I’m looking for the next human to share their “who,” not their “what.”

Joke time, I heard this the other day and have shared it, it’s not mine, but I think you will enjoy it. You can steal it as I did. 

An 85-year-old man gets a call from the IRS; they said, sir, we have been noticing some unusual bank activity on your accounts, large amounts coming in and large amounts going out, we need you to come in to discuss the possibility of an audit.

The man thinks, maybe I should get my lawyer, he calls his guy, and the lawyer agrees, I need to be at this meeting. They head to the IRS office and have a seat. The IRS agent explains that based on the bank account activity, they have some questions. The wise man said, “I like to gamble?” The IRS agent said, “like sports?” the man said, no, let me give you an example.

I’ll bet you $5000 that I can bite my eyeball. The IRS agent sat, stunned, and thought, that is impossible, your on! The man took out his glass eye, chewed it, and said, you owe me $5000.00.  But, I’ll let you earn your money back, for $10,000 I’ll bet you I can bite my other eye. The IRS agent was perplexed; the man can’t have two glass eyes; he is not blind and said, “You’re on!” The man removed his false teeth, chewed his other eye, and said, “young man, you owe me $10,000”. But I’ll let you earn your money back.

The gambler said I’ll bet you $15,000 that you can place that trash can across the room, and I can pee from here to there and not spill a drop! The IRS agent was intrigued, that’s impossible! “You’re on! “ The agent moved the trash can, and the man took out his unit and began urinating on the man’s desk all the while the IRS agent is screaming “Yes, yes, yes! You owe me $15,000!”  The lawyer sat stunned, and the IRS agent noticed his concern. “What’s wrong with you?” The layer said as we walked into your office, “he bet me $100,000 he could piss on your desk, and you would cheer him on.

So there you go, a free joke hiding in your morning soup.  Please share it, use it, make someone laugh today. Laughter is fule for the soul, and we all need a good laugh these days. I wish you nothing but happiness and health today. Don’t catch that VID; you might have a stuffy nose, you might have to stay home for days while the rest of the world travels down the path of freedom.

I’m heading north to have lunch with a friend; I miss my friends when west and try to connect with as many folks as I can when back east. My life is filled with long term friendships and stories that would make your grandmother blush. I’ll keep those to myself, but for now, enjoy this day something bigger than ourselves has made.

“Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.”

— Lemony Snicket