G for Goal(s)

When we hear the word 'goal' (in Slovenian language word “Cilj” is the same for Goal and Finish - end of the race), most of us probably think of sport first. Competition. One of the virtues of an athlete reaching the desired level is to have a very well-thought-out goal, well thought-out objectives. To dream to some extent, or rather to imagine in some way their own victory, their own race. This is very close to all of us. It is easy to explain to ourselves that having a goal in sport is an important fact without which you cannot do without it. After all, a sprinter cannot run a hundred metres if he does not have a goal. Even a physical goal in this case. Even where to start and which direction to run in can be a very basic problem if there is a beginning and an end - a goal. Why do people in general not have clear goals in life? Why do some people live from day to day as they say? And even more illogically, why do we not set clear goals in business? How does an individual in a company know where to run, in which direction, how fast ... When you think about it that way, it really is pure nonsense. I have never been a serious athlete myself. As a kid, of course, we tried all the sports we could try on the street. I never really trained, at least not regularly, not with the aim of becoming an athlete. Probably because I didn't develop competitiveness as a child, at least not at a high enough level. Healthy competitiveness, yes, but certainly not for every match, any match. Be it on the street, in conversation, at the table, at cards, at board games. Of course, that doesn't mean that winning doesn't feel good to me. And I can say for myself that I have won quite a few times in my life. In the last period at all. But I put the effort in to win. I worked on myself first of all. And winning gives that good feeling that your effort is worth it, is rewarded. That it is noticed. That you didn't put in the effort for nothing. If you really set your mind to something, commit to it, anything is possible. Most achievable goals can be achieved with effort.

Goals should not be (too) high-flying, because then we could call it dreaming. I don't know if we would give dreams this meaning, that they can achieve movements. I do not equate goals with promises (vows) that we make. New Year's promises to oneself or to others are very well known. These are more to do with respect for something. Maybe even with what we will or will not do. A promise is broken, it is not kept. It is about self-discipline, how determined we really are. Or we are a character, as Slovenians like to say. Most of us, statistically at least, have made a promise to ourselves at some point in our lives to quit smoking. I have been there myself. It is difficult to quit, especially if it is a quick decision. It is a spur-of-the-moment decision. Because an event, a moment, a moment makes us make that instant decision. Failure is almost certain. You can't decide to be a runner today and just win the next day. It simply does not work, and we are quite clear about that. Not with smoking (or similar personal habits). We think we can do it without preparation, without mental preparation, without physical preparation, without any training. Not many people have such a strong will, determination, to be able to do that. I can tell you myself that I have been thinking about quitting for quite some time. And then a moment really came, a drop over the edge. But I had been thinking about quitting for at least a couple of months before that. It was much easier. I am not trying to persuade you to quit, because I am a smoker myself (I started again after a four-year break). I want to say how much mental training is needed. This part has always suited me better in my life. You play as you train. So, if you don't train, you won't play. If you don't mentally prepare yourself to quit, you will keep on smoking, and you won't quit. You are probably wondering why I started again. I don't know, probably because it brings me some kind of pleasure. Probably also because it was so easy to quit the first time that I expect it will not be difficult the second time. Probably.

I see the goal more as the final stop on a journey. If the promise is more about setting limits for yourself (and sometimes for others, which is not logical), the destination is also a journey. A journey of beautiful moments, but also of sudden obstacles, of pleasure and suffering. Endless black and white, day and night, yin and yang ... contradictions. Sometimes unbelievable contradictions. The goal must therefore be clear, which is sometimes not so easy. Imagine the goal of a start-up. What should it aim for? What is a clear goal? To be successful! Statistically speaking, this is not the best goal. A start-up is competing with thousands, millions of others who have at least the same or probably a clearer goal. How will it succeed if his competitors know better what they want? It won't, or it will be a race with a known outcome. It is impossible to compete if you know in advance that you are behind and cannot go forward. Failure is very likely. But they are persisting. They keep their heads in the sand. It is really illogical to do things that are preordained to fail. The goal must be clear, structured, broken down, communicated ... And the path to the goal must also be planned out in some way. The path changes according to the obstacles that come. I am watching my younger sister, who is trying to become an entrepreneur. I admire her for taking her own path. She is trying, she is educating herself, she wants to. Yet I see her suffering, sometimes even giving up because she does not make a breakthrough when things do not work out the way they should. Better said, as well as they could. But she is trying, and that counts in the long run. Making small steps, small successes. So, we need small goals. The business world is cruel and can be brutal. You have to be mentally strong as a human being. You have to be prepared to fail, and more importantly you have to be prepared to learn from failure. To pick yourself up and carry on. Life is full of failures, and only those who learn from these failures will one day be winners. They will.

I have recently experienced for myself the importance of having a clear goal. I have been struggling with extra kilos all my life. Somehow. Although I have never really suffered from it. Quite a lot of it has accumulated over the years. Someone told me the other day that if you gain just one kilo, one single kilo of weight every year, you will gain twenty kilos between the ages of twenty and forty. Well, I am exactly there, or rather I have gained an extra gram on top of all those kilos. I have been promising myself for some time that I would do something about it. I will. It lacked motivation, it lacked something to keep me going. A clear goal. I was mentally prepared and ready at a certain stage, but there was no icing on the cake. I remember quite a few of those moments when I came to the 'breaking point' while writing this piece. One of them was one of the doctors who said to me something like this: "you are losing weight when you are not really losing weight". I couldn't help but ask what she meant by that. I did not really understand what she meant by that. The brain is an interesting thing. It is a very interesting thing. When they know they won't get food, they stockpile - that one kilo every year. And vice versa. That was her answer in a short summary. It made me think. I was really thinking about how not to lose weight and at the same time lose weight. Paradox. Like so many things we are surrounded by. The last moment, and the final sobering moment, was the official photo shoot. I was shaken when I saw my "profile" photo. Just the other day I saw it again. Another man.

So how to get started? Set a goal. Goals. Clear and achievable goals and give it your all. To do your best. Or as I like to call it, "all-in". I certainly did not want to repeat the mistakes of the past. History is the best teacher. Because it's easy to lose the weight. Consumption must be greater than intake. Simple maths. Either you put in a lot of physical work, train, exercise, walk ... whatever it takes to burn more than you take in. You change your daily routine and start exercising. Or, on the other hand, you take in less than you consume at your current pace. I've already tried the first. Of course, I had a result. In principle, if you exercise there is no problem to lose, but it is more difficult to maintain when and if you stop exercising. Personally, I don't like it, I'm more of a thinking person. Many times, I have then gained back twice as many kilos in the post-workout period. I am quite an eater. I like good food. It's going to have to be some other way to get to the goal. Less to eat, at least in calories. I have not given up food, not at all. I changed a few little things, the ones that accounted for the biggest proportion of sugars and calories. And I never, really never, denied my brain what it craved at any given moment. Except for the first few weeks, when I suffered. I admit it. But the goal was clear. So, it was easier. In fact, apart from those first few weeks, I didn't really suffer afterwards – and I'm not suffering at the moment either. I mention the goals. Of course there is one final goal of kilos (99, or if you want less than 100), but still I started with a small goal. Regular monitoring - weighing (occupational strain) is quite necessary. Not too often and not too rarely. Always at the same time of the day (morning). Body weight fluctuates quite a lot already on a daily basis. The first goal was set after the first weigh-in. Rounded up to five kilos - down of course. You think in your head when you could achieve it - 2 months - and you set a date. You monitor your progress, and so step by step down. At some point, the downward trajectory stops. First obstacle. Good, I take a break and aim to maintain the previous goal. I have fooled my brain. At least for me, the pause worked. Personally, monthly or even bimonthly breaks have helped me. At least in times when food is plentiful (around the transition from old to new year).

Goals and the steps to get there are always important. Without them we cannot succeed, or rather success is more often than not the result of factors other than ourselves. If we lose weight for no reason, we are probably sick, which nobody wants and is not a good sign. So, I am amazed at all those companies that have no goals, no strategy, no vision. It is difficult to succeed without goals. In fact, success without goals is already the survival of the company in the long term. A good idea can bring us success, but without goals, that success will quickly turn into failure, because sooner or later someone will come along with a better idea, just as we once came along with the same idea and caused someone else to fail. Maybe there really is no need for a long-term goal at the very beginning because the creation, the realisation of the idea, is a goal by itself. But what matters further is how to develop that idea or get new, better ideas. To achieve a goal, we need some basic ingredients. At least knowledge, work and resources are always needed. So, we need to invest in knowledge, in acquiring knowledge, in learning, in practising, in getting to know ... and at the same time we need to put in the work, the energy and the resources - tools of all kinds. When you need to make a birdhouse at home, you need to have the knowledge, which can be equated to a plan and the use of tools, you need to have the materials and the tools to build it, and in the end you need to put in the work to make it really shine in the sun.

It is exactly the same in relationships (about which I have already written in the previous letter F entitled Form). Without goals, there is no relationship. Goals must be communicated, goals must be discussed. And once the goal is set, we focus on the path to that goal. Goals in personal life can also be called meaning. What is the meaning of our life. Good question. To be happy? To enjoy? What does happiness or enjoyment mean. I would say that the meaning of life is growth, personal growth. To be better today than yesterday, to be responsible towards everyone. First of all, to yourself. And therein lies happiness and enjoyment, when you know that you are better today than you were yesterday. When you know more. When you know how to pass on that knowledge to others. When you are grateful for all that you are.

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Next time, 29 May 2024, THANK YOU (gratitude) (HVALA, hvale?nost in Slovenian language)