The Future of Passion Is To Not Follow It
As far back as I can remember, I've always wanted to be free. Free from the restraints of any institution or person trying to tell me how I should live, act or feel. Granted, "being free" is a super generic goal or statement of intention, but it is, I think, a pretty basic human desire: to be without restriction or obstacle to get what you want out of life. The problem is, without obstacles, there is no notion of freedom; just as there is no notion of 'on' without 'off' or light without darkness. It's our obstacles and the attraction of living without those obstacles that lights the fire that is so clearly identifiable as passion. It's what separates the idle, flickering want from an emotional, spiritual or even physical need. It really is what drives an entrepreneur at their core. To build and create freedom for yourself and for others means to break down the obstacles in the way.
Every truly exceptional success in our lives comes from two equal and seemingly opposing forces: attraction and obstacle. These are the foundations of passion, and the achieving of passion is, for any of us with hearts and souls and minds to nurture, the epitome of success. Success is the fulfillment of passion, and you can't have passion without an attraction and nothing attractive is worth pursuing without a fun little obstacle to overcome.
“The impediment to action advances the action. That which stands in the way becomes the way the way.” Marcus Aurelius
I want you to stop for a moment and think for me. Think of the first person you loved passionately — that person who you felt like you could not live without. Time and relative wisdom may have since shown you that what you thought was love was not actually love, but chances are, even time cannot take away the fact that there was passion. I want you to try to picture that person, as you knew them, and I want you think back to that time in your life. Where were you? What were you doing? How did you feel about yourself and your life? The passion you felt for that person caused some amazingly powerful emotions, didn't it?
Now, tell me, what was the obstacle?
There was one, wasn't there? There was some challenge to overcome and that person you were so attracted to was a literal or figurative representation of the passion to get to the other side of that hurdle. Maybe the challenge was the person's parents or your parents, who wouldn't have approved. Or maybe it was a work relationship that had to be kept under wraps for the sake of your jobs. Or maybe it was a relationship that would have spawned societal disapproval. Whatever the obstacle, much of the passion that you felt likely arose from it. The relationship's excitement was founded in its challenge. The electric energy you felt around this person drew much of its current from the stimulus of the obstacle.
If I sound like a cynic, it's quite the opposite. Long-term romantic love and passionate love aren't mutually exclusive, but the first is only one possible off-shoot of the other. The first is comparatively rare, because that excitement, that passion, it only lasts as long as the obstacle stands. And for those of us who are hell-bent on success in life, the obstacle. CAN. NOT. STAND.
Let me be clear, passionate, long-term love can exist if breaking down every obstacle in your way is at the core of the value system of that relationship and it should be, but more on love another time...
Attraction + Obstacle = Passion
I have suffered from depression, anxiety and a whole host of debilitating, limiting beliefs most of my life. I battled some dark shit, but I never let it beat me. The thoughts and the ego narrative controlling my mind were always something that, deep down, I believed that I could beat. In a way, I didn't have a choice but to beat it because, in addition to these debilitating issues, I was also born with an abject repulsion to complacency and laziness. Ironically (and fortunately), every time I’d give into my mental weakness, I made myself sick. I may have had no choice in being innately wired up to be prone to depression and anxiety, but I also had no choice in being born to fight it. The mental weakness was the obstacle keeping me from the freedom to truly love myself and believe in myself. I had this burning desire to push past the internal and external bullshit, become comfortable in my skin, and be who I know I could be in my work and in my life. I was determined not to feel anxious or depressed or nervous about every step I made. I wanted to live with a greater sense of freedom and purpose. It's taken years, and a shit load of self-love (and some psychedelic plant medicine ??), but I’ve found who I truly am, and every day I'm obliterating the obstacles in my way that are trying to keep me from being where I need to be!
I understand that mental illness is not something that's ever cured, so I have no false hopes of one day living in complete, blitzed-out bliss, but I know that with all the negatives that my issues bring me, they also provide an endless supply of passion inducing obstacles to keep driving me forward. Learning from those obstacles and applying the lessons is the only way to keep moving.
Talk about finding a silver lining, right? Call it idealistic, but this drive to always move forward is what separates the success stories from the countless forgotten tales of mediocrity.
Don't follow your passion. Follow the obstacle and you will live passionately in freedom and success!
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