The future of octopus mums

My two daughters are now at the age of their career choices.  When asked if they would like, one day, to take over my PR agency, Maluti,  they both answered with a vigorous “NO”. Despite Maluti, my third baby, being today a solid and fun company, with great international partners and profitable projects.  The answer to my ? why nooooot ? ? is the same for both my girls : they want a “real” balance between motherhood and career !

Which shows, if needed, that regardless of my absolutely gigantic and often exhausting efforts, I didn’t really manage this balance, even if my girls still give me a decently good motherhood score.  And this makes me even more in awe of these mothers who, from the height of their heels and the top of the boardroom tables, seem to have it all.  But a little voice tells me that if I asked their kids, maybe they would give the same answer as mine do.  Which brings me to another question :  how much longer the elusive motherhood/career balance will be an unreachable dream in a world where research has proved that companies with more women executives are more likely to outperform those with fewer senior women?

There are three realities which, today, directly impact on the fact that working mums are in permanent limbo.  First reality check:  many of us do not choose motherhood in our 20s anymore, but rather choose degrees and doctorates at that age.  Therefore,  the time to push our careers now coincides even more with the time for motherhood.  Second reality check:  once the kids are there, they need their mums to be present at least 80% more than what they usually need their dad.  There are exceptions, but that’s about the rule.  Third reality check:  recent research has shown that mothers are more than three times as likely as fathers to be responsible for most of the household work and logistic.  No time for work when we get transformed into drivers, cooks and, even at times, Bob the Builder.

So, at one point or another, all working mothers, despite the family support we are lucky to have in Mauritius, mutate into eight-armed octopuses!  And when we do become eight-armed, we should remember that octopuses under stress suffer from autophagy, which means that they eat their own arms because of major stress.  And that a very stressed octopus can eventually die, with its arms in tatters. Conclusion:  in the present circumstances and unless things dramatically change, most working mothers are rather scr...ed!

Which is basically what the latest report of McKinsey on working mothers says, even more so after this Covid-19 period which was “The year of living dangerously” for most working mums.  In the US, McKinsey found that the added burdens at work and at home with the pandemic, pushed roughly 33% of working mothers to consider downshifting their careers or leaving their jobs altogether.   The same study has found that across both advanced and developing countries, working mothers are 75% more likely than working fathers to be struggling with mental health concerns.  So where do we go from here?

I hope that the Budget speech will bring some answers, and that our economic leaders will bring some more.  But somehow, I remain doubtful because other than mostly lip service actions, both state and private sector employers have not yet showed that they have fully realized that it is vital for our economy to ensure that working mothers have the support they need to self-actualize.

Childcare and work–life flexibility should become a norm.  Unfortunately, even if Covid showed us that it is essential to reset the norms around flexibility, many businesses have already gone back to their old ways!  It is also urgent to adjust childcare-related policies and programs. Some companies have provided emergency childcare resources, but these policies should become long-term adjustments and not just Covid-19 palliative measures.

It is also vital to ensure that mothers stop being disadvantaged for promotions by revisiting performance indicators that may have become irrelevant with regards to today’s work output. For example, does being The Flash and answering within seconds and at any time of the day and night - which mothers can’t always do - have a real incidence on the quality of the work? 

We have a unique chance of rebooting the norm and going towards more intelligent choices for the empowerment of working mothers.  And these choices will, in turn and in time, have an impact on the business gender equality which will be far more reaching than just the realms of the pandemic.  So, let’s hope there are enough courageous and visionary political and economic leaders out there willing to recognize the importance of taking that leap of faith for working mothers.  Else, there may be huge economic and societal consequences coming ahead, together with a whole new generation of octopus mothers.