Future Facing - Reflection

I am so grateful to the people who read my last post and encouraged me to write. I thought my words might get lost in the cacophony of voices on social media, particularly given everything else that is going on at present; it really is wonderful to be reunited with friends and to be making new contacts. I am indebted to Anne Hammond (a new contact, who has been praised on Twitter for the excellent talk she gave recently on Risk Management to pupils at Hitchin Girls School). It was Anne’s comments in response to my post that inspired the theme for this blog, namely ‘reflection’. I had not anticipated the degree to which what I said in my last post would resonate with people – so many individuals have told me that they too feel that they have been in a state of near-suspended animation over the past two years, having to focus on life-impacting issues whilst missing physical contact with people and doing simple, ordinary things. Clearly most of us like seeing each other face-to-face and enjoying things together. On Shrove Tuesday last week, I met up with two wonderful friends, who I encountered initially through Twitter over a decade ago. We went for a relaxed dinner in a pub beside the Thames and it was fantastic (apart from the pancakes, which resembled rubber mats and were disgusting). Many people scoff at social media stating that it is superficial and too “salesy”, but I have made amazing friends and contacts, as well as using it as a direct source for superb candidates; at present I am following the news and the heart-breaking accounts coming out of Ukraine. Most of us spend hours reading information and stories online.

One thing my friends and I commented on last Tuesday was that our eyes have suffered over the pandemic – far too much time spent peering at screens, enduring back-to-back VCs, and ploughing through emails. No matter how compelling the writing, we all need take time away from the PC, laptop or mobile. Use that break well – it could give you time to ponder and reflect and that should make you more productive and happier in many areas of your life.

Being reflective can feel odd, as it demands that you slow down to think about what you have done. I must confess that I am awful at giving myself time to contemplate; my natural attitude is to be constantly planning for the future, I have to remind myself to stop and appreciate the present, and I have had to discipline myself to consider the past. Even when successful at reflecting, most people’s inclination is to look at what they think they did not do well and to fail to acknowledge or celebrate the bits that were good. Our brains are programmed to look out for problems and to dwell on issues (it is part of why humans have been so successful as a species, we remain alert to danger and hence can avoid harm). However, always contemplating what did and could go wrong is draining and can be bad for our health. In contrast, it has been proven that a positive mindset, and in particular experiencing and expressing gratitude, can benefit personal wellbeing and happiness. You may have noticed that many people now publicly state their #3GoodThings experiences on social media. To participate you must decide on and then write down three pleasing occurrences that have happened during the day, and then you should actually consider how they came about. Regularly participating in this exercise helps individuals to focus on positive experiences and change the way that their brains work and how they feel. The practice was co-developed by Martin Seligman, a leading expert in positive psychology. Making a daily record of 3 Good Things is a subset of being reflective that I would encourage anyone to try. During his research Martin Seligman and his colleagues discovered that on average participants experienced a 9% increase in happiness after practicing the technique for six months, even just two weeks of practice can reduce tiredness and the risk of burnout.

As you know, I am currently interviewing to secure a new job; hence I am spending much of my time reflecting on what I have done and what I need to do. In discussions I am expected to come up with compelling examples of when I have undertaken things well to achieve (and ideally exceed) desired outcomes. I am also reviewing things that I have done to determine what I could and should do better next time. Mistakes can be wonderful as they provide the opportunity for growth, improvement, and change. After each meeting I ponder what went well, as well as acknowledging when I made a mess of things by not being clear or concise. I am very fortunate in that I have enjoyed a very varied career (some would say careers) working in different sectors and being able to apply knowledge from one role to help in another (for example when a lawyer I learned how to assess contracts which has proved invaluable in HR and when I was the MD of a successful business). Many people like to pigeonhole expertise, but, in my experience, much can be gained from applying knowledge from one area to a problem elsewhere. I enjoy using solutions and the learning from one experience to resolve a different issue, for example when I became involved with Street Wisdom (the “everyday creative practice” developed by David Pearl that is a fusion of mindfulness, neuroscience and wellness , which enables creative thinking and reflection), I realised that there was much to be gained from ambulatory learning; this lead to my co-designing a new approach towards executive development with the Judge Business School at Cambridge University. Our combined efforts helped ensure that training messages stuck as well as simultaneously providing a superb opportunity for networking in glorious surroundings for a global cohort of senior leaders. If I hadn’t reflected on one experience, I would not have thought of applying aspects of it to another matter I was cogitating.

Reflection adds value and there are many ways to reflect.

Immediate reflection (like that of a mirror) is often used to good effect by recruiters and the police, but we all mirror at times (both consciously and unconsciously, such as when we yawn or smile after seeing others doing so). Echoing a person’s body language and tone of voice has been proven to be able to put an individual at ease and thereby encourage them to provide open responses and confessions. Short-term reflection (for example daily personal reflection) is proven to support individual growth and performance. Research undertaken by academics from Harvard, Bocconi, and North Carolina has found that call centre staff who spend 15 minutes at the end of each day reflecting on what they have learned perform 23% better after 10 days compared to those who did not reflect. Longer term, regular reflection on what has gone well and what could be done better - it helps you to see the way forwards and is a good way of enhancing performance and results for the future, as I have evidenced above.

So, I ask you to reflect on my words and decide whether being more reflective would benefit your life going forwards.