A Funeral and a Philosophy

I attended a funeral service a few days ago, along with 150 other family members and friends of the deceased.

I was supposed to attend a wedding ceremony with my wife that had been on our calendar for months.

But life intervenes, and by "life," I include death, so my wife and I split the joyful and sad events.

We all love new beginnings.

Weddings celebrate new chapters in relationships.

Attendees are witnesses to public declarations of love and commitment, and we share in the couple's joy while, at the same time, a more cynical few (you know who you are) wonder if "they know what they're getting into" or "I give it six months, a year at most."

Wedding music, dancing, food, speeches, flowers, and, if we're lucky, a few drunken and embarrassing toasts that live forever on YouTube are part of the memorable day. ("Wait, no way I said that. OMG, it already has 30,00 views. I'm a social media star!")

Permanent changes are frequently mourned.

Funerals are about loss, memories, stories, family, friendships, and missed opportunities.

Occasionally, a funeral includes a healthy dose of celebrating life, the lessons left behind, and the legacy that lives on through children, grandchildren, and close friends.

I was struck by a consistent theme as the eulogies were shared.

The deceased, a self-made millionaire whose wife had passed a few years ago, died at 94, surrounded by family.

He started with very little. Broken and discarded items that others considered trash, like a motorbike, were rebuilt, used, and enjoyed. Too young to serve in WW II, he worked at numerous jobs from a very young age, developing skills and a discipline that contributed to his future successes.

He lacked a lengthy formal education, but his drive, desire to stretch barriers (he learned to fly and maintain single-engine aircraft as a teenager), philanthropical nature, and his bride of 65 years all contributed to a good life.

At every stage of advancement, he prioritized "want what you have." And somehow, despite that approach to life that de-prioritized bigger and better, "what he had" kept improving.

This philosophy seems opposite to what many of us embrace today, "have what you want."

For many, "having what you want" becomes a treadmill that can't be turned off.

Every achievement is quickly forgotten; it serves as a stepping-stone for the newest, greatest, and even more expensive version of what already fills a need and makes us happy.

Naturally, intrigued by this simple approach to happiness, I Googled it.

And I think this will make a nice toast at a wedding, especially if you intend to recount your wild days in a fraternity with the Groom.

"Want what you have, and then you can have what you want."―?Frederick Dodson,?Parallel Universes of Self.

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Have you thought about bringing in a good speaker for an upcoming team meeting – but they're not available? I don't mind being your second choice! (That's chutzpah!)

#perspective #success #personalgrowth #life #chutzpahguy