The Fundraising Cone of Shame...

This week, my giant puppy final got her appointment to get spayed. With my pet raising moral code securely influenced by Bob Barker, I did my part to help control the dog population.

She, of course, came home with the Cone of Shame – and thus prompted several necessary dad jokes and seemingly endless references to the movie UP.

However, the conversations I’ve been having with nonprofits this week have ironically themselves been about the idea of “shame.” There seems to be some pent-up guilt on the part of organizations getting ready to make asks at upcoming events, appeals and donor meetings. And if there’s anything that gets me going more than a nonprofit feeling bad or shameful about asking for (and especially receiving!) gifts, I’ve yet to encounter it.

So, as your unofficial fundraising therapist, I’d like to give a few rebuttals to some typical statements I’ve heard for all you organizations that are wearing your own Cone of Shame:

“I feel bad for asking, when other nonprofits need it more.”

The first sign of an organization seeping into a shameful solicitation phase is thinking less of their own mission and more highly of others. And yet, in good and prosperous times, we constantly tout the benefits and virtues of how great we make our community.

What is it about ranking and comparing ourselves to others during times of uncertainty? The donors who believed in you prior to any global crisis still believe in you now. They supported you and were inspired to give by your stories of success, challenge and vision for the future.

What does that signal to your donor base that now, during a time when they could help you the most, you change direction and suggest that your mission isn’t as important as it once was? Those mixed messages and notions of shame might give pause to those donors who you want by your side, as they consider your suggestions that others need support more.

To honor donors is to make sure you honor your organization as a continued wonderful place to give and make impact dang it!

“We have enough money to make it until the end of the year, let’s not ask for anything.”

You’ve all heard it before – but I’ll repeat it again: No Money? No Mission. The privilege of having cash in the bank is nothing to take lightly, but your donors didn’t give you their hard earned gifts to stash it away and just barely get by. They were moved by the audacity that your nonprofit is solving critical issues in the community that no one else is. They want to see impact, they want to see growth and they want to see their money put into action, not stashed away in a mattress to be used a bit at a time as you need it and hope you get by.

Showing respect for the gifts that others give you is acting on their belief that you do good work. And leading an organization from a position of a scarcity mindset is not an attractive solicitation model. You raising more money allows you to (shameless plug in the form of a pun) Do Good Better. The more you have the more good you can do!

“They already gave us a gift this year, we don’t want to sound greedy.”

I like chips. All sorts of chips. Doritos (OG Nacho are the best…come at me, bro!), tortilla chips, salt & vinegar, classic Lays…you name it, I’ll buy and eat them. They are my go-to-stress eating snack. And when a new flavor of a chip I like shows up on the shelves, I’m gonna try it. Because I love them. Even if it costs $0.50 more than the typical version I normally consume.

I’ll pay more because I like the product. And your donors will give more because they love your impact.

Now, comparing chips to donations may seem like a stretch, but the same chemical reaction in my brain that makes me feel immediately awesome upon eating snacks is the same feeling that your supporters feel when they donate. You are helping them feel awesome. And if giving more helps them feel more connected and needed in the community, then you are doing them a service, not being greedy.

In fact, if you have been doing a great job of explaining your growth, your vision for the future and telling great stories about where your nonprofit started to where they are now – the natural expression of support will be an increase in donation size. Those that feel connected to your mission want to grow with you, and that means a growth in gifts to match your trajectory increase of those you serve.

That’s not greedy. It’s a reciprocity of joy. The joy folks feel when they give is as powerful as the joy you feel when you get the opportunity to use their gift to make positive impact.

Therapeutic Final Thoughts

Your organization is awesome. You do awesome things. And those awesome things make individuals in your community want to join in the impact bandwagon you’ve created.

Though they might not be able to develop a program or service that helps those your nonprofit, your supporters do have time, talent and treasure to help your mission thrive. And to feel guilty about allowing someone to donate or feeling?shameful in asking them to join your community of supporters, is taking away other’s ability to feel fulfilled themselves.

If you enthusiastically (and sure, throw a little humility in there if it makes it easier) cheerlead for others to give to feel good, then you’re essentially leading a nonprofit that facilitates others ability to help and serve in the only way they can.

Be a great steward of other’s gifts by seeing them as opportunities to do more. And take off that cone of shame, dammit.

Go get ‘em gang!

-Patrick

[email protected]

www.DoGoodBetterConsulting.com