Full Mental Jacket: Chapter 4: The inner story.
Clint Adams
Senior HR Professional. Suicide Prevention advocate and author of Lighting the Blue Flame.
In the first 3 instalments of Full Mental Jacket, I covered off on Red Brain/ Blue Brain and understanding how fear and anger affects the undercurrent of us as a person. I covered how the body, unconscious and conscious thoughts along with our emotions pretty much makes up the “self.” While I did also cover the dialogue model and how we think when we have conversations, I think it is important to focus today how we can create patterns of thoughts by our inner dialogue.
In the Dialogue Model (See below from the book: See link:) https://play.google.com/books/reader?id=KPIdif2ZRmsC&hl=en_AU
there is the step after See and Hear Something, which is You tell yourself a story. The story you tell yourself will determine the next step which is Feel. Then based on how we “Feel” will determine how we Act or in some instances don’t Act.
Our interactions with others and the relationships we form and avoid are determined by this. The see and hear part is really mainly out of our control. People can do and say nasty and hurtful things to us, but the rest is actually within out control. The story we tell ourselves when we are very young is based on the undercurrent and habit-forming thought patterns we have developed mostly on an unconscious level, but then as we come into contact with others more and more often we bring this pattern with us and it affects our interactions and relationships with those people.
We will never be friends with every person we meet, and we will have some biases, beliefs and views on the world that will differ with others, but the internal story we can shape in a way that works for us rather than one that hurts us. If my internal dialogue was “that bad things always happen to me” or “that I know I’m not good enough” then how I Feel is likely to be negative and this affects how I Act. In the Dialogue Model if I come into contact with someone and they seem confident and I am having this kind of internal dialogue where I don’t feel good about myself, it’s very likely I am going to be more on the “Silence” side and won’t really want to interact. Some people from the outside might say I was “Shy” but I could just be too scared to interact, so I will avoid those interactions and ultimately, I am then less likely to form good relationships with those people. Fast forward to high school and now I could be the outcast who has never really made any good friends because I don’t put myself in a position where I feel comfortable interacting with a wide mix of people.
One thing we all need is to be accepted. No one wants to be rejected, so we dress a certain way, we talk a certain way and we usually interact with people who are more like us, so we can feel part of the group. We are “creating safety” in the Dialogue Model by doing a mental risk assessment of our interactions and weighing up whether there is a chance of rejection if I even go and talk to that good-looking girl or guy? That undercurrent, the habits you have formed, and any hint of Fear will have a direct effect on what story you tell yourself and then how you feel and act. Multiply this process over a number of weeks, months even years and you have a strong thought pattern, a strong habit.
This is why it is so important for us to be helping our children and adults with understanding this process and also how we learn and sometimes how to “unlearn” habits to help us thrive. Tony Robbins said in one of his seminars that basically the human body will replace every cell in the body within a couple of years, so we actually aren’t the same people we were 2 years ago, but we maintain memories and can still relive painful episodes in our life, because we have developed habits that reinvent the “Self” we have developed. Dr. Joe Dispenza explains how we need to break the habit of being ourselves, by thinking differently.
The key is to do things differently and for young children, it’s up to parents and schools to provide the opportunities to develop skills, knowledge and relationships in a better way, before those habits become negative. For adults, it’s about understanding why they have certain thought patterns and working out strategies to break that wiring and firing together of those neurons and then creating different neural connections. It really is about being aware of your thought patterns and filling your head with as much knowledge of techniques or strategies that can help you think in a different way. Even just changing the scenery by doing a nature walk or play golf can help break patterns of negative thoughts, but as Joe says, it needs to be body and mind. It is way more effective to be focusing on both if you are having negative thoughts or are feeling depressed. in the next instalment we will cover off on some of those techniques now we know how we think, learn and interact.
Previous instalments.
https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/full-mental-jacket-series-chapter-1-clint-adams/
https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/full-mental-jacket-chapter-2-brain-counselling-clint-adams/
https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/full-mental-jacket-chapter-3-creating-resilience-clint-adams/
Author: Clint Adams Bio
Website:
Blue Flame Projects – Helping with Mental Health and Resilience.
I am a former Victorian police officer who studied psychology and later, Rehabilitation Counselling. My police, counselling injury management, senior HR roles and working with asylum seekers have made me develop insights into the psychology and social interactions of individuals in trying conditions.
have developed various behavioural and leadership programs to help people deal with various issues from PTSD to bullying and harassment. I am a keynote speaker on Suicide Prevention and Diversity and runs programs on mental health and wellbeing for corporate organisations and sporting organisations for teens.
I am the author of a book called Lighting the Blue Flame. The book is written as a story of a teen who commits suicide because of being bullied, but wants his death to at least have an impact to change things so it doesn’t happen to others. So he decides to send those he believes are responsible for him being bullied, those who watched and laughed and the school for not doing enough. Ultimately the school gets me involved as a character in the book to help them and the students deal with the suicide, but also look at how they can prevent it from happening again. I also help the mother deal with her grieving process.
The book has a lot of QR codes throughout for more information and also just random things teenagers would send each other on social media, so it is a little more interactive than other books. It also has it’s own soundtrack as I wanted to add that extra layer of depth to the experience as music can emphasise how people feel and experience things.
Below are some links to interviews, podcasts, articles and videos I have done
Interview on the Informer:
https://theinformer.tv/education/saving-kids-lives-one-page-at-a-time/
Book review and interview: Employ health
https://blog.employhealth.com.au/book-review-lighting-the-blue-flame
Luke Mathers: Podcast Reset Season 2
https://open.spotify.com/episode/30gjrWHjuE4q4nXDgRsXt5
T2T: Podcast on Mental health
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCm8_8caLDw&t=3s
Dr. Isabel: Podcast on mental health
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQau_5Dzd7Y
https://doctoronamission.com/2021/03/24/what-the-is-a-crucial-conversation/
Paul Krauss: Podcast on Mental Health
https://healthforlifegr.com/empowering-people-through-mental-health-education-and-psychology-with-clint-adams/
Tim Krass: Podcast on Mental Health
Roxanne Derhodge: Podcast on Mental Health
https://roxannederhodge.com/creating-resilience-with-clint-adams/
Leadership in hazardous industries podcast:
The Virtual Campfire Podcast
Suicide Prevention Summit: Keynote Speaker
https://www.youtube.com/watch?reload=9&v=whQcxANqjwQ&feature=youtu.be
Body Science Podcast
Leader Flow Podcast: Red Brain Blue Brain Part 1
https://player.whooshkaa.com/episode?id=725420
Leader Flow Podcast: Red Brain Blue Brain Part 2
https://player.whooshkaa.com/episode?id=728049
Promotional Page
https://www.all-about-psychology.com/lighting-the-blue-flame.html
Changemakers Podcast
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HE0ENjY8a8
The Voice on Fire Podcast
Article in Front Runners Innovate Magazine
https://www.frontrunnersinnovate.com/full-mental-jacket/
Full Mental Jacket Part 1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWwrGUirlBk&t=2s
Full Mental Jacket Part 2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6vkaLL4mYc&t=7s
Podcast:
Mental Health Warrior: Podcast
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44Yy-LuwZ2c&feature=youtu.be
The new mind creator podcast:
Podcast: Social Mission Revolution
Podcast: How not to think about……
https://www.buzzsprout.com/730841/4617590
Podcast: Men are nuts
Panel Discussion: Child Sex Trafficking
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cTMO6Y0E34
Full Mental Jacket: E-book
Blogs:
Article in Smart Healthy Women Magazine:
https://smarthealthywomen.com/importance-of-selfawareness/
Radio Interview: BBS Radio
https://bbsradio.com/podcast/sudden-i-impact-july-29-2020
Protectcorp Linkedin Promotion:
https://www.dhirubhai.net/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6703458739011354624/