Not fulfilling your potential? You're focusing on the wrong things

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This week, I’m sharing the thoughts of two leading experts on human performance. And me.

While researching my book, Work/Life Flywheel , I discovered that 9 in 10 of us don’t feel like we’re fulfilling our potential.

One fundamental problem lies in how we judge success. When most conversations start with the dreaded question, “what do you do,” it’s clear that, in general, we focus on the wrong things.

So, what should you be doing instead?

Adam Grant , Wharton organisational psychology professor turned ‘mega-workfluencer’, was on the Prof G podcast last week . He spoke about why potential isn’t about where you start, it’s about how far you can travel. And much of that is determined by character, traits such as:

• A determination to seek out and embrace discomfort.
• The discipline to accept the right imperfections and not ace everything.
• Being proactive ‘sponges’, able to absorb information and filter out the criticism and pieces of data that don’t benefit us.

That last point, in particular, is reiterated by high-performance psychologist Michael Gervais ais, whose clients include world record holders, Olympians, internationally acclaimed artists and musicians, major sports stars, and Fortune 100 CEOs. In his HBR IdeaCast conversation with Alison Beard , that what’s holding us back is FOPO - fear of what other people think.

The secret to achieving mastery and fulfilling your potential requires using your mind to focus only on the things you have 100% control over. Seeking acceptance holds you back as it inevitably means compromising on what’s really important to you and what you believe.

Does that mean not caring what others think?

Well, not exactly.

Instead, concentrate on cultivating a strong sense of self. It matters who you are, NOT what you do, where you do it, or who you do it with.

And the only way to really know yourself is to write it down.

Which, is where my contribution to this conversation comes in.

I did exactly this when I was struggling to work out what to do next in my career. Starting at the very beginning.

• What matters most to me?
• How do I want to spend my time?
• What non-negotiable values do I want to live my life (and work) by?

I literally wrote this down - again and again - until it became clear.

In the case of my values, for example, I promised myself that my work/life would be characterised by:

1. Autonomy
2. Creativity
3. Curiosity
4. Growth
5. Humour (as in being able to laugh at myself and with others, not trying to be funny!)

As I discussed in my conversation on Christopher Lochhead ???????????? 's appropriately titled Follow Your Different podcast, I also built a daily micro-journaling habit , which has helped:

• Improve my memory
• Highlight the progress I’m making in my work and life
• Identify patterns in the things I enjoy (and don’t enjoy) doing

The insight: The moments that will shape your future are happening every day.

I’ve embraced trying difficult, new things. I’m learning to accept that not everything goes perfectly along the way. And most importantly, by prioritising principles that matter, I feel good about being myself.

I don’t feel like I’ve fulfilled my potential yet, but I’m enjoying the journey. Have a lovely weekend,

Ollie