The Frying Pan Goodbye

When I was six years old, my folks left their ? section of farmland and migrated to the city. They were literally dirt poor farmers and were at a life crucible; farm more or choose another way of life. They chose the latter.?

A gaggle of friends, relatives and neighbors gathered on a hot Sunday afternoon in August, 1956, to say goodbye to our family. I vividly recall fishing for the colorful paper beer labels, unceremoniously detached from the many bottles swirling around in a washtub full of ice. Tables were garnished with sandwiches, cakes and watermelon. People were sitting on chairs and blocks of firewood in the cool shade behind the old wash shed. The late summer air was filled with laughter. Kids hyped up on Kool-Aid ran everywhere, usually into mischief and occasionally redirected by a “behave yourself” from any number of elders.?

As the goodbye party was coming to a close, our closest neighbor asked for everyone’s attention and gave a short speech of gratitude in having us part of the community, as well as a collective best wishes for the life ahead. Then the gathering proudly gave us a gift of thanks and farewell. I close my eyes and replay Mom opening the present. With wide eyes and a burst of tears, there it was… An electric frying pan! We never even had electricity on our farm, however we would have power in the city. So this was a BIG gift, and very generous from people who had meager means.?

My folks were wow’d, touched? and very grateful. I was visiting my now 94-year-old Mom the other day, and she still uses that frying pan today!??

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Every one of us has a last day somewhere. And if we are fortunate, the humans we have been together with connect and say goodbye. We have an opportunity to acknowledge, appreciate, gather what we’ve mutually harvested and move on. Why has leaving in the workplace usually been such a miserable experience? Why don’t we properly say goodbye? Of course, our jobs are replaceable, but you and I as people are not. When we leave, we are actually irreplaceable. There will not be another you or me, and hence our team will no longer be the same.?

People leave work for many reasons. In almost every case, the person leaving and people staying have gained something together. Why not acknowledge that? Shouldn't everyone benefit from a dignified, even celebrated leave??

Great organizations do a superb job welcoming new team members (it’s more than onboarding). The most renowned companies will ALSO intentionally invest in the leave and goodbye. This doesn’t mean everyone gets an electric frying pan, however the acknowledgment of working together confirms that we mattered. And that likely lasts longer than Mom’s old frying pan. What can you do to leave work well, and help others do the same??

Think Big, Start Small, LEAVE WELL,?

- Lorne?

One Millennial View: I think some readers may scoff at this idea, and that’s an opportunity to reevaluate your relationship with your job. We get it, right? When leaving a place of work, especially involuntary, it can be like a bad breakup where we’re conditioned to just leave it in the dust, unsubscribe, unfollow, block, delete the pictures, it never happened. While that practice may immediately soothe, we know it’s a poor policy that plays into our insecurities. How lucky are we that we actually care about our work, the people we collaborate with, and the fact that leaving is hard? Let’s make the best of it.?

- Garrett