Fruits and Life - a Product Manager's thoughts on parenting

Two pictures first: avocado on the left and watermelon on the right. What do you see that these two have in common? They are both green? They are both fruits? They are both healthy? Or they both have some kinds of seeds inside? 

Photo credit: Unsplash @thoughtcatalog @artrachen

Now I have a brain teaser - in what situation, can an avocado grow to become a watermelon? Think about it for a few seconds. 

Everybody ready? Now I am revealing the answer: it turns out to be in an expectant mother’s womb. I am currently 39 weeks pregnant and have been using a pregnancy tracking app, and it’s interesting that every week the app tries to tell me about baby size in terms of a fruit. Initially the baby was poppy seed size and by 16 weeks, the baby was about avocado size and now it is almost approaching the due date, the baby will be a watermelon size in my belly! It’s truly amazing to me as a first time mom to see how a living being has been growing within me, moving around and kicking me all the time (at least bringing me the 2-people energy fortunately), and I have been reflecting on what kind of parent I aspire to be, and find that there are quite a few analogies that can be drawn between nurturing fruits and nurturing life. I hope to share my thoughts here today and that you may find these connections fascinating as well.

My 1st fruit for thought: fruits come in different sizes and shapes, just like how kids come in different personalities, temperament or their own unique styles. We should respect that each kid has unique needs - some are extroverted with tons of energy to burn so they run around acting kinda crazy, others are slightly more introverted and prefer to play alone on the playground or spend hours drawing on a piece of paper. As parents, we should not force a blueberry to grow to be the size of a strawberry and instead recognize that a blueberry can be just as successful as a strawberry. There’s a popular word in China called “Involution”, literally meaning “rolling inside”, or curling inward for an endless cycle of self-flagellation, whipping oneself to be the best of the best (see more here from the New Yorker). An example of this is portraying success as a very 1-dimensional concept to your kids by telling them that the only way to succeed is to go to a fancy Ivy League college and get a high-paying investment banking or tech job so that they are set for life. That’s definitely not what I want for my fruit. I hope to at least try my best and go against the “Tiger Mom” stereotype, and not morph a blueberry into a strawberry but respect the power of nature and let the blueberry grow up happily. 

My 2nd fruit for thought: fruits need lots of water, sunshine and sometimes fertilizer and pest controls, and most importantly patience. Kids have so many first time experiences in this world, so we need to take our time, be patient with them, and hold their little hands to guide them on the right track. Water is the knowledge taught, and sunshine is the unconditional love provided to the kid. Fertilizer is the continuous support and encouragement, while pest controls are the occasional punishment so kids will learn what’s right v.s. what’s wrong and have a good moral compass. We all know that Rome wasn’t built in a day, so similarly, fruits don’t come to fruition in one day. Being a parent is also a test of patience and endurance, and a lot of life skills will be taught by repetition. I heard potty training takes a few months, right? As first time parents, my husband and I are quite nervous and we also know that nobody will be 100% ready to be perfect parents - there are so many uncertainties: can we handle sleepless nights with a newborn? Can we ensure that our baby is growing at the right pace? Can we teach both English and Chinese to our baby? We won’t know the answer but one thing is for sure: we will learn as we go (thank you Google, Youtube and Reddit in advance) and we will be patient with ourselves and our baby by understanding that growing a fruit is not an easy task and we are getting better every single day. 

Those above are my 2 fruit-for-thought bites and the next time we see an avocado, a watermelon, or eat a fruit, I am sure there will be a lot more parallels drawn on raising a fruit and raising a life. I am beyond excited to see what our baby will look like in a few days, and how parenting will unfold and influence me. I am sure our baby fruit will show me a whole new world and teach me plenty of lessons, and I look forward to seeing what you guys think in the comments too!