A Fruitful Meeting is When Everyone Quick to Listen and Slow to Speak

“Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions” ~ Proverb

How many hours spent in a meeting, yet no agreement made? It wastes a lot of times and costly. It could easily consume in order of hundreds or thousands dollar depending on salaries of participants. Not to mention a tension between colleagues often built up here rather than healthy team work.

If this is a familiar sight to you, I would invite to seat back and reflect on why this happens? Do you see someone trying to make a point, but suddenly interrupted by someone who thinks the point made is absurd? Feeling misunderstood, the original person claims that the other party misses his point. In response, the interrupter insists to understand the point and it is a bad one. Being offended, the original person tries to retaliate and the heated argument started. And the rest of participants’ responses are typically being silent, being in the side either one of the two or being a peace maker. But the meeting must end, and everyone leaves the room frustrated.

I am not suggesting that no one should interrupt one during meeting as that might be necessary on certain cases. However, in general we should let someone finish delivering his opinions, and should not hurry to comment before understanding the point made. If it is still not clear, clarify it again and again. Often someone's intention is not well conveyed from his first words especially for those not gifted with eloquent speech.

One day I listened to an interview to Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella on youtube and I was impressed. He was asked on his approach to run a meeting to which he replied elegantly “Listen more, talk less and be decisive when time comes! ”. How would not you love it? I wish more and more corporate leaders inspired by this. I can imagine the challenge being a leader, to listen all opinions in the room, digest them and then deliver the decision.

A signature of foolish person is one who only love to air his own opinions. This kind often plays a parasitic role in a meeting, and worse when it is the leader. In contrast, a wise person is he who realize that only by listening one can add to his knowledge not by talking. The number of ears we have as compared to mouth should already suggest so. So that we can hear both good and bad, constructive and destructive critics, stories from both sides, however when it comes to speak, we do so thoughtfully, truthfully and gracefully. We cannot control to what we hear but we can to what we speak of. 

So next time during meeting, we should learn to listen quickly and to speak slowly. This is one of the great virtue in life. No man can achieve greatness unless he conquers his own tongue first!