From white belt to black belt
Sebastian Bates
Founder at The Warrior Academy & The Bates Foundation | Operating across 8 countries in 4 continents | Sponsoring 4,000+ Orphans & Street Kids | Award Winning Entrepreneur | 2x Best Selling Author
Dealing with and overcoming bullying is a journey, and most of us start with no knowledge or experience of what’s coming.
On our programme, we class this as wearing a white belt. We see some parents who have prepared in advance, but most react only after something has happened, and a few don’t do anything at all. Either they don’t know what to do or don’t realise that they have to do something. It is the same with children.?
The journey we promote to overcoming bullying encompasses three levels of belt: white belt, victim belt and black belt.
We all begin wearing white belts. We come into the world fresh, naive and enthusiastic. We go to school, sports clubs and other places with a perception that anything is possible. We are eager to learn, to do activities, to play. We often have role models we look up to and set out to achieve what they have achieved.
The victim belts are worn by the children and adults who, as a result of the things that have happened to them and how they responded to them, have experienced one or more of the three misery moments.?
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They are easily offended and worry about what people think of them, negative stories playing in their head. When they get feedback, they focus on the negative.
Victim belt wearers often play it small, stay in the safe zone and are constantly on the look-out for possible threats. Or they can be ambitious and driven but their low self-confidence and negative self-image limit their ability to perform. Often, they are perfectionists because they need to eliminate all possible criticism. They are so occupied with trying to be perfect that they forget to be in the present moment and enjoy life.?
There are also people who, though they may not be wearing a victim belt, have a victim stripe in one or two areas, where something has broken them, and are unable to live life to the full in those areas.
Check out on our next post the story of Nancy who is a great example of someone who, for a time, was stuck wearing a victim belt but, through a journey of self-acceptance and overcoming her bullying, was able to become a black belt wearer.