From 'They' to 'Us': How to Transform Blame into Collaborative Problem-Solving

This week, I learned a powerful lesson about the word "they" and how shifting from blame to understanding can unlock solutions.

Our project was stuck, and the conversation in our group repeatedly circled around statements like, “They just send the problems to us” and “They don’t want to help solve the issue.” One colleague finally asked, “Who is ‘they’?” After identifying the other party, she followed up with, “Have we spoken to ‘they’?”

We hadn’t. So, she arranged a meeting to include “they” the following week.

In that meeting, my colleague did something brilliant:

1. Recentered the mission: She reminded everyone of our shared goal—serving our customers.
2. Established common ground: She reviewed the project’s guidelines to ensure everyone was on the same page.
3. Set respectful ground rules: She guided us to commit to navigating the conversation with respect.

What struck me most was that both sides wanted the best outcome. We were facing challenges, but the focus shifted to what we could change and how to move forward.

I’m inspired by this experience and grateful for my colleague’s leadership in turning a potentially divisive situation into a collaborative effort.

If you’ve encountered similar scenarios, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Let’s continue to grow together.

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