From Tough Feedback to Confidence: Why We Often Need a Second Conversation

Performance reviews, whether we love them or dread them, they’re an inevitable part of working life.

Most companies follow a familiar pattern: an employee fills out a form reviewing the last 12 months, sets goals for the upcoming year, and then sits down for a conversation with their line manager, sometimes with HR in the room as well.

Once that’s done, the paperwork often gets filed away, and often everyone moves on.

But here’s the thing: how often do those performance reviews truly stick?

→ Employees walk away with a head full of feedback - sometimes feeling inspired, sometimes disheartened.

→They go home, sleep on it, and by the next morning, a few key sentences linger - more often than not, the negative ones.

→ The chance to process and discuss those points in depth? That opportunity can feel long gone.

When I worked with my team, I made sure to put a great deal of time and care into our performance reviews.

I’m proud of how I encouraged them not just to focus on company goals but to include personal development in the discussion.

However, if I could go back, there’s one more step I would add: a short follow-up conversation.

Imagine this: a week after the review, you sit down with your team member again. You ask, "Now that you've had time to reflect, is there anything you’d like to revisit from our conversation?"

This simple check-in can be incredibly powerful.

Why? Because:

→ It gives the employee time to digest the feedback and its implications.

→ It opens up a space for them to address lingering thoughts or concerns without the immediate pressure of the formal review setting.

→ It offers a second chance for clarification and understanding, turning potentially negative feelings into constructive action.

We all know the so-called "poo sandwich" approach to feedback - where criticism is sandwiched between layers of praise. It’s a strategy that often leaves employees feeling more confused than motivated.

This is where the follow-up conversation can truly shine.

Rather than revisiting any negative feedback, this second discussion can focus entirely on solutions, strengths, and the trust you have in your team member to turn things around.

It does not need to be long or formal, it works best if use as an opener to the next one-to-one. Before you get into the strategy:

→ Make it about reinforcing their strengths and the progress you believe they can make.

→ Ask them how they feel about it.

→ Remind them of the resources available to support their growth.

→ Offer your support but don’t overwhelm them with too many directives - let them take the lead.

The follow-up conversation is an opportunity to shift the narrative from what went wrong to a full focus on how they can succeed.

100% bread, nothing in the sandwich.

It’s about showing that you trust your team member to rise to the occasion, reminding them of the qualities that make them valuable, and ensuring they feel empowered to take the next steps.

One conversation is rarely enough. The follow-up might just be the key to turning feedback into real growth.

Let’s not miss out on that opportunity.