"From Soldier to Conscious Transformer: Unfolding Patterns & Embracing Vulnerability"

In the aftermath of Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, a significant Jewish holy day involving fasting and reflection, I found myself deeply contemplating the profound themes of patterns, transformation, and the inherent power—and, at times, the potential threat—of vulnerability. In Hebrew, we express this sentiment as 'gmar hatima tova,' which roughly translates to 'may you be sealed in the Book of Life.' It's a wish for a fresh start, forgiveness, and the opportunity to evolve. This sentiment beautifully encapsulates the essence of my personal journey—from a young soldier to a conscious transformer—and the reflections I'd like to share.

Life as a Self-Reliant Soldier:

My journey toward self-sufficiency commenced at a young age due to multiple immigrations and the necessity to adapt to new environments and cultures. At the age of 18, I embarked on a life-altering adventure by serving in the Israeli army during the Gulf War. This experience thrust me into adulthood in every sense of the word. Suddenly, I was not only responsible for my own life but also for the lives of others. It was a profound initiation into the realities of independence and leadership.

Taking Charge Abroad:

After my military service, I made the decision to pursue further education in Belgium. This move required me to independently navigate my life and finances. The challenges were numerous, but each one presented an opportunity for personal growth. Living alone in a foreign country taught me resilience and adaptability, qualities that have since become invaluable.

Belief in Self-Sufficiency:

Over time, I became accustomed to and internalized the notion that I needed to handle everything on my own. Life was undeniably beautiful, yet it also presented its share of struggles, and I often felt like a lone warrior. This belief became a cornerstone of my identity. I took pride in my ability to be self-sustaining, and I carried this mindset into all facets of my life.

The Wake-Up Call:

It wasn't until I became a mother of twins that I truly began to question this belief. Raising two children while working more than full-time as a single mother was an immense challenge. Although I had always been fiercely independent, there were moments when I had to summon the courage to ask for help. It was humbling, but it marked a turning point.

One weekend, when my twins were 2 years old, I found myself chronically exhausted from a relentless cycle of limited sleep and hard work. I longed for just half an hour to myself, a brief respite to go for a run and recharge. However, there was a catch—I needed someone to look after my kids, spontaneously. Summoning all the courage I could muster, I approached my neighbors who were busy preparing for an evening street party. I asked if, in turns, they could spare 30 minutes (each just a few minutes) to keep an eye on my kids. It was an exceptional plea born out of desperation and fatigue. The response I received that day was resounding. Not only did they decline, but they offered no alternative or rescheduling option. It was a rejection that cut deep and had a lasting impact on me. In that moment, I lost more than just my chance for a brief break; I lost my courage to ask for help again.

Unfolding My Patterns:

As I reflected on my journey, I realized that my belief in self-sufficiency had both served and constrained me. Yes, it had made me resilient and resourceful, but it had also prevented me from fully embracing the support and collaboration that life offers.

A New Perspective:

I am now consciously working on dissecting this pattern because, as a leader, these patterns subconsciously influence our leadership style and can lead to reluctance to delegate out of a desire to maintain control. Leadership, undoubtedly, does not entail doing everything single-handedly; it means inspiring and guiding others to be their best. I've learned that vulnerability is not a weakness; instead, it's a path to deeper connections and personal growth.

Conclusion:

My journey from a self-sustaining first lieutenant to a conscious transformer has taught me that patterns, even those that have served us well in the past, can evolve. By investing daily in self-awareness and being willing to confront and adapt our patterns, we can unlock new opportunities for growth and fulfillment.

May your paths lead you too to deeper growth, richer connections and a balanced approach to life’s private and professional challenges.

I’d like to wish everyone a 'gmar hatima tova,' may you find the courage to embrace vulnerability, transform your patterns, and continue to grow within your ‘Book of Life’.

Warm regards, Sigal Rabinovitz

Ps: I am available on Thursdays for any kind of sparring- and personal/professional/transformational development sessions -> DM ??