From Small Talk to Trust: How Asking Questions Can Transform Your Leadership Style

As a leader, establishing rapport and building relationships with your team is essential for creating a positive and productive work environment. Small talk can be a great starting point, but it's important to delve deeper and ask questions that reveal more about the person you're speaking with. Not all questions are created equal – some are better suited for building relationships than others. It's easy to get stuck in a rut when it comes to asking questions. We often default to work-related compliance questions such as, "Have you checked your email?" or "Did you accomplish this task?" While these are important questions, they don't necessarily reveal much about the person we're talking to or help to build a stronger relationship.

To illustrate this, I conducted a video interview with my team of teachers, asking a series of questions. As the video progresses, you will see the level of comfort and openness between myself (the leader) and my team (the teachers) grow, demonstrating the power of building rapport and trust through questioning.

The questions I asked ranged from simple icebreakers, like “what’s something new happening in your life?”, to more personal questions, such as “what are your hopes for the future?”. The process was simple: I asked each teacher to visit my office and sit down for a rapid-fire interview. Each teacher was given the same set of questions, and I encouraged them to answer as honestly and authentically as possible.

One of the key insights from this exercise was that the questions themselves weren’t as important as the process of asking them. By showing genuine interest in my team, and creating a safe and non-judgmental space for them to share, we were able to establish a level of trust and openness that is essential for building strong relationships.

In addition to asking questions about my team and their experiences, I thought it was also important to reflect on my own practices and leadership style. Asking my team for feedback on what works well and what could be improved turned out to be an incredibly valuable exercise, even if it means putting myself on the hot seat for a little while. By seeking out this feedback, I gained valuable insights into how my leadership style impacts my team's work and what I can do to improve the overall functioning of the team.

It's important to approach this process with an open mind and a willingness to learn and grow. You might be surprised by the feedback you receive, but remember that this feedback is not meant to be judgmental or critical. Rather, it's an opportunity to gain a better understanding of how you can best support and inspire your team, and to make adjustments that will lead to more effective leadership and better outcomes for everyone involved.

So don't be afraid to ask your team members for their honest feedback about your leadership style and practices. Embrace the opportunity to learn and grow, and use the feedback you receive to continue doing what works well, make positive changes where needed, and build a more human-centered workplace culture for your team.

Rapid-Fire Questioning

Rapid-fire questioning is a fun and engaging way to get to know someone better, move beyond small talks, and build stronger relationships, both in and out of the workplace. By asking a series of quick-fire questions that are designed to reveal different aspects of a person's personality, interests, and values, we can create a more human-centered approach to leadership and foster a more collaborative and supportive environment.

The beauty of rapid-fire questioning is that it doesn't have to be serious or overly formal. In fact, some of the best rapid-fire questions are witty, light-hearted, and even a little bit silly and can be asked anytime, anywhere. By creating a relaxed and fun atmosphere, we can encourage people to open up and share more about themselves, which in turn can help to build trust and rapport.

So, what kinds of questions can you ask in a rapid-fire format? The possibilities are endless! Here are just a few examples to get you started:

• If you could only listen to one song for the rest of your life, what would it be?
• If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?
• What's the best book you've read recently?
• If you could have dinner with any historical figure, who would it be?
• What's your favorite childhood memory?

These are just a few examples, but the key is to get creative and have fun with it. The more you're willing to let your guard down and be vulnerable yourself, the more likely others will be to open up and share more about themselves.

Art of Questioning

It's not just about the questions we ask our team, but also about the way we ask them. As leaders, it's important to approach our conversations in a way that is open, curious, and empathetic. By creating a safe and supportive environment where people feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and experiences, we can foster deeper connections and build stronger relationships with our teams.

When asking questions, it's important to listen carefully to the answers and to ask follow-up questions that demonstrate your interest and engagement. It's also important to be willing to be vulnerable and to share your own experiences and perspectives, which can help to build trust and create a sense of mutual understanding.

Ultimately, it's through these deeper, more authentic conversations that we can begin to build a more human-centered workplace culture. So don't just focus on the questions you ask - focus on the way you ask them, and the connections you can create through your conversations. By prioritizing open communication, empathy, and vulnerability, we can create an environment where everyone feels valued and supported, and where each team member can go to work confident and valued for the uniqueness that they bring.

Research

Asking our team questions about themselves ia one powerful way to build stronger relationships. When people feel valued and understood as individuals, they are more likely to be productive and engaged in their work. According to a study by Gallup, employees who feel that their opinions matter and that their leaders care about their well-being are more likely to be engaged and satisfied in their work. By asking thoughtful and meaningful questions that go beyond just the work-related, leaders can create a more human-centered and supportive workplace culture. Gallup also tells us that in order to build relationships, managers and teams need to start conversations and approach staff engagement issues in an authentic and meaningful way. The case study presented below serves as an illustrative example of the importance of human-centered practices. It also suggests research-based engagement areas that leaders can act upon, similar to the questions I asked during the rapid-fire interviews earlier.

Taking that First Step

If you're someone who hasn't yet taken that first step of getting to know your team members, it's important to remember that it's never too late to start. While it may feel awkward or uncomfortable at first, taking the time to get to know your team members on a personal level can have a significant impact on your working relationship and your team's overall success.

One practical way to start is simply by taking the initiative to have a conversation with your team members outside of work-related topics. This could be as simple as asking them about their hobbies, interests, or what they did over the weekend. Like in the video, I asked my team low-stakes, basic questions at the start like "What's new happening in your life right now?" By showing an interest in their lives beyond work, you can begin to build a sense of rapport and trust that can help to break down any walls or barriers that may exist.

Another way to build a stronger connection with your team members is by recognizing and acknowledging their strengths and contributions. Take the time to celebrate their successes, recognize their hard work, and offer your support and encouragement when they face challenges. By showing that you value and appreciate their efforts, you can help to create a more positive and supportive working environment.

Ultimately, the most important thing is to be authentic and genuine in your efforts to build stronger relationships with your team members. By approaching these conversations with a spirit of openness, curiosity, and empathy, you can create a space where people feel comfortable sharing more about themselves and where human-centered leadership can thrive. So take that first step, and know that by doing so, you're setting the foundation for a more positive and fulfilling working relationship

Leveraging your Strengths

IF you are an introvert, you may tend to be more reserved and reflective in your leadership approach. You could focus on building deep and meaningful connections with your team members through one-on-one conversations and by listening carefully to their perspectives and ideas. You should also make sure to take time to recharge and refuel your energy, whether that means taking a break during the day to go for a walk or meditate, or setting aside time in your schedule for solitude and reflection.

IF you are just starting out in a leadership role, focus on building strong relationships with your team members and be open and authentic in your communication. It's also important to be willing to learn and to seek out feedback and support from others.

Cultivating a culture of open communication and trust requires a commitment to transparency and authenticity. You must make an effort to listen actively to your team members and to provide honest and constructive feedback. You also need to prioritize building a supportive and collaborative team environment, where everyone feels valued and respected.

Final thoughts

I hope we can all aspire to foster a workplace culture that is rooted in genuine and meaningful dialogues. It is through these sincere conversations that we can cultivate a human-centered environment. It is not only the queries we pose, but the manner in which we ask them and the relationships we establish through our discussions that truly matter. By emphasizing transparent communication, compassion, and openness, we can establish a safe space where every individual is valued. Let us strive to create a workplace where each team member can confidently and authentically show up, without feeling the need to conceal any part of who they are.

From small talk to trust, asking questions can transform your leadership style and create a more human-centered workplace culture. And guess what? It all starts with one question.

I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas on this topic! Please feel free to leave a comment, ask a question, or share your own experiences in the section below. Your input is valuable and helps to create a more vibrant and engaging discussion. Let's connect and learn from each other!