From Silence to Strength: Why Traditional Coaching Doesn’t Work for Many Men and How Somatic Methods Lead to Real Transformation

In leadership and personal growth, men often find themselves underserved by traditional coaching sessions. While conversation-based approaches are widely accepted, they can fall short for many men. Why? The answer lies in how men are conditioned to handle emotions and trauma—and how alternative coaching approaches, such as somatic methods, can help them reconnect with themselves more deeply and lead more consciously.

Why Conversation-Based Coaching Falls Short for Men

One of the primary reasons traditional coaching sessions don't resonate with many men is that men are socialised to suppress emotions. From a young age, boys are often taught to be "strong" and "stoic." This conditioning makes it difficult for men to access and articulate their emotions, especially in coaching settings that rely heavily on verbal exploration. Instead of addressing their feelings, men often turn to distraction, numbing, or avoiding emotional pain altogether.

But the issue runs deeper. Men are often more action-oriented, coping with challenges through activities rather than conversation. This means that verbal-only coaching can feel frustrating or ineffective. For men, simply talking about feelings isn’t enough to create lasting change; they need a more integrated approach that involves both the mind and the body.

The Somatic Solution: Why Dropping into the Body Matters

In my coaching practice, I’ve found that a more holistic approach, combining cognitive, emotional, and somatic (body-based) techniques, is far more effective in helping men achieve transformation. Men tend to resonate with methods that allow them to feel emotions in their body, rather than just discussing them. Through these body-based techniques, they can reconnect with emotions they’ve long suppressed, creating breakthroughs that conversation alone rarely provides.

Emotions are not only cognitive—they are also experienced physically. Stress, trauma, and emotional pain often get "stuck" in the body. Through somatic practices like breathwork, movement, and guided meditation, men can release stored emotions, regain control over their emotional responses, and begin healing on a deeper level.

Why This Matters for Conscious Leadership

Conscious leadership is built on self-awareness and empathy, but many male leaders struggle to develop these qualities when they’ve been suppressing emotions for years. Unaddressed trauma and suppressed emotions can lead to unconscious triggers and reactions that emerge at inopportune moments. These unresolved issues don’t just affect a leader’s personal well-being—they also impact the teams they lead and the outcomes they achieve.

A leader who is hurting may unintentionally transfer unresolved emotions onto their team, leading to poor communication, low morale, and reduced performance. Without emotional intelligence and self-awareness, suppressed leaders may struggle to connect with others, diminishing their leadership effectiveness. If men don’t engage in self-discovery, their subconscious patterns will continue to affect their leadership in ways they cannot control.

By working with men through somatic methods, I help them reconnect not only with their cognitive understanding of themselves but also with their emotional and behavioral patterns. This allows them to process past experiences, embrace both their light and shadow, and become conscious leaders who operate from a place of authenticity, clarity, and empathy.

Empowering Men to Heal and Lead

Coaching is not just about addressing thoughts and beliefs; it's about guiding men to experience the full impact of their emotions through the body. This somatic experience enables men to transform their behaviour, leading to leadership that is more empathetic, intentional, and grounded in self-awareness.

In a world where men are often taught to suppress or avoid their emotions, I believe it’s crucial to offer an approach that empowers them to reclaim their full selves—mentally, emotionally, and physically. For today’s leaders, this holistic self-integration is not just beneficial; it’s essential.

Do You Know the Key Difference Between the 1% and 10% Most Successful People in the World?

It’s not their IQ. Surprisingly, the wealthiest 1% actually tend to have lower IQ scores compared to the next tier of successful individuals. What truly sets them apart is their Emotional Intelligence (EQ) and self-awareness. High emotional intelligence allows these individuals to navigate complex social dynamics, manage their emotions effectively, and build deeper, more impactful relationships.

This highlights a crucial point: in leadership and success, emotional intelligence is a far greater determinant of success than intellect alone. By helping men cultivate higher self-awareness and emotional intelligence through embodied practices, I guide them toward becoming the kind of leaders who make lasting, meaningful impact—both in their own lives and in the lives of those they lead.

Alex Terrey

[email protected]

If you want to learn more, join us in December in person, we kick off with the program Limitless Mind Foundation on 24th of October 2024.

https://thementoringeffect.com/limitless-mind/